August – 2009 – Sexpert Jane Blow - Sex Advice and Education, Porn Reviews, Adult Toys, and more!

Posted on Aug 31, 2009 by JaneBlow — FMK — 8 comments

Time to Play F**k – Marry – Kill: #5

Is FMK helping you get through your Monday? I know it is something I look forward to *ahem* doing! There is almost nothing better than thinking about hot hot people to fantasize about doing threesomes with put in a new FMK trio for you!

For those not following the game so far (shame on you!)…FMK could be torture, but it is all in good fun. It was made famous by Howard Stern and the movie Step Brothers and it is called “FUCK – MARRY- KILL”. But it has been around across the pond for quite some time! Basically, we give you a Trio of People, and out of the three you have to pick one to Fuck, another to Marry, and the other you have to Kill.

Practice Round: Josie, Melody, Valerie of Josie and the Pussy Cats

I don’t know about you, but I’m going to fuck the ever living out of Melody…

drummers are where it is AT!

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Posted on Aug 27, 2009 by JaneBlow — How To, Jane Says — 10 comments

Look Ma! No Hands!!

Welcome to another awesome discovery in sex: The Touch Free Orgasm!!

WE SHIT YOU NOT!! Now as Jane Blow the team, we really didn’t believe it either, UNTIL one member of our team (yea, sometimes we “kiss and tell”) accidentally did it. After much freaking out and saying “BUT I STILL HAD MY PANTS ON!”, (and several txts to each other) I decided to do a little research and find out how I managed to cream my panties while laying down and only THINKING about getting funky with myself.

orgasmlove

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Tags: Chakra, Hands Free Orgasm, Little Man in the Boat, orgasm, Tantra, Tantric

10 comments

Posted on Aug 24, 2009 by JaneBlow — FMK — Comments Off

Time to Play F**K – Marry – Kill: Gingers!

Thanks for all the feedback everyone, by popular demand today’s FMK is going to be BATTLE RED HEADS! I really enjoy getting feedback especially since my inbox gets stuffed with hot hot people to (fantasize about doing threesomes with) put in a new FMK trio for you!

For those not following the game so far …FMK could be torture, but it is all in good fun. It was made famous by Howard Stern and movies like Step Brothers and it is called “FUCK – MARRY- KILL”. Basically, we give you a Trio of People, and out of the three you have to pick one to Fuck, another to Marry, and the other you have to Kill.

Today’s Practice round is: Jessica Rabbit, Petunia, and Phoenix.

I’m glad you were drawn that way!

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Posted on Aug 24, 2009 by JaneBlow — News, Toys — 3 comments

ATTENTION: Die Hard Twilight Fans!!

Haha, get it? Die Hard… Death… Vampires… ? ANYWAY!

The toy engineers over at Tantus have something AMAZING for you coming out exclusively through their website on 9/1/09… and it SPARKLES! Tantus even boasts being able to put it in the freezer for that “authentic experience”.

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3 comments

Posted on Aug 20, 2009 by JaneBlow — Lubes & Lotions, Potions & Pills, Reviews, Toys — 9 comments

Helping Guys build an Arsenal. (NSFW)

Did you know that on average a male orgasm lasts for 7 seconds?

A woman’s orgasm lasts about triple that on average, 24 seconds to be a little bit more precise.

Sort of adds insult to injury if it happens to have been a while, and you don’t last so long with the girl you notch your bedpost with one night. Or you go for hours, she gets off 100x, the bed is soaked and *pop* just like that, you’re done. Its like you actually licked a Blow Pop to get to the bubble gum center and there is only a speck of gum.
That sucks.

There is so much pressure on you guys (pun intended) to preform, and know how to please a girl. Some women even expect you to be mind readers and just KNOW their hot spots without any clues from them. Well, fuck that. This post isn’t about them, it is about you. If women have a 6 barrel mini gun (like the one in terminator) and you have a Glock 9mm (like cops use) , you’re going to find out how to upgrade to a Desert Eagle .50 Caliber (like the NON replica used in the movie Snatch).

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9 comments

Posted on Aug 17, 2009 by JaneBlow — FMK — Comments Off

Time to Play F**K – Marry – Kill: #3

OMG! You’re back! Does this mean you love the game?! I hope so. I really enjoy getting feedback (especially since my inbox gets stuffed with hot hot people to fantasize about doing threesomes with put in a new FMK trio for you!

For those not following the game so far …FMK could be torture, but it is all in good fun. It was made famous by Howard Stern and movies like Step Brothers and it is called “FUCK – MARRY- KILL”. Basically, we give you a Trio of People, and out of the three you have to pick one to Fuck, another to Marry, and the other you have to Kill.

Practice Round: Alvin, Simon, Theodore.

chipmunks3

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Posted on Aug 14, 2009 by JaneBlow — News, Porn & Erotica — Comments Off

Saved by the Bell Parody Porno ??!! (NSFW)

Hustler couldn’t stop with This Ain’t Gilligan’s Island or This Ain’t Happy Days, now they’re doing a parody of …

savedbythebell

Saved By The Bell!!

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Posted on Aug 13, 2009 by JaneBlow — Coverage, Events — 5 comments

Attending a Nina Hartley Workshop !!

I was sitting at work one day, putting prices on dildos and ordering movies when the phone rang (as it does). I knew who it was just by looking at the number; it was my favorite movie distributor Tracy Sales. She calls me special for new releases, most of her other customers get a lousy email, needles to say Jane Blow is loved. We do the special orders

“Yes, sure I’ll take 4 copies of Big White Asses #7, but not the Jules Jordan Semen Sippers #19.” I like doing orders when clients are around, the funny looks are the best. Tracy also tells me about all the porn stars coming through. She has ties with Alexis Texas, Belladonna and Jesse Jane to name a few. Usually my bosses wave off the store signing because we don’t have enough time to advertise and I don’t usually go because I’m working. This time around she had a special treat for me.

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Posted on Aug 10, 2009 by JaneBlow — FMK — 15 comments

Time to Play F**K – Marry – Kill: #2

Welcome back! Are you ready for another round?! I hope so!

For those JUST tuning in, It’s time to play a game… don’t worry, you wont wake up in a bathtub in a straight jacket.

This game could be torture, but it is all in good fun. It was made famous by Howard Stern and movies like Step Brothers and it is called “FUCK – MARRY- KILL”. Basically, we give you a Trio of People, and out of the three you have to pick one to Fuck, another to Marry, and the other you have to Kill.

Here is the practice round: Out of Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty and Belle, who would you Fuck, Marry and Kill?

fmkprincess

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Tags: brad pitt, Chuck and Larry, Dave Cast, Fast and the Furious, FMK, Fuck Marry Kill, Howard Stern, Huge Jackman, Jessica Biel, Katherine Hiegl, Knocked Up, Paul Walker, Presteige, Scarlet Johansson, Se7en, Step Brothers, wolverine

15 comments

Posted on Aug 06, 2009 by JaneBlow — Jane Says, Lubes & Lotions — Comments Off

Luuuuuuuuuube

We will tell anyone who is looking to go to any other sex shop that one way to figure out if the person behind the counter knows their shit is to ask about Lubricant. There are other ways, but lube is a good place to start.

Lube is important, it helps things happen and is totally essential to have a good time. If your body produces enough of it, then power to ya, but some people need a little help. There are many outside forces that can screw up the chemistry in your body to make it not lubricate itself (I’m talking to the ladies right now)…. birth control messes with wetness it usually drys you up, antidepressants and anti anxiety medicines usually drops sexual desire/libido, other meds for your heart could do it too.

But its ok, sex doesn’t have to be painful – in fact, if it is, you need to fix that, and we have just the info for ya.

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Tags: Anal, birth control, body glide, choose your own adventure, climax, desire, Elbow Grease, Eros, Gel Sensual, glycerin, gun oil, ID Glide, ID Millenium, ID Pleasure, L'Arginine, libido, Lube, Lubricant, masturbation, Menthol, oil, organic, Pjur, Sex, silicone, tantus, water

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