July 12th, hang onto your sparkles fan girls… from the makers of This Isn’t Twilight, and This Isn’t New Moon… comes This Isn’t Eclipse the XXX parody.
I will update this as I get the news!
1 commentDear Jane: My Partner Doesn’t like Anal Sex / Oral Sex… But I Love it.
I started dating a girl who said ‘Nothing in the butt, ever. It’s gross.’ How can I change her mind/trick her?
and
I love eating pussy. But my girlfriend said ‘no’. Summat about a bad experience with another guy and she doesn’t wanna talk about it. Any idea why she’s being such a bitch?
Are very related, you are basically asking for something you partner is set against for their own personal reasons, and both can be had with time and patience on your side.
Anal sex is mind over matter, she feels it is gross. Some people NEVER get over this mindset, others get curious enough to give it a try. You need to hope she is the later of the two. Oral sex could be the same way, in fact, many sexual acts are the same way. Without a “want” to do something, people create reasons NOT to do something. It is the classic trying to get kids to eat their vegetables situation.
With bad experiences, and dead set against mindsets you need to create a positive association to trick their brains (what, did you think I was going to say “roofie them”?).
How? Be hungry for your partner, have sex with them like if you don’t, you’ll die. Hold them to you, grab their ass while you’re fucking their brains out. Kiss them like they’ve never been kissed before… and when their eyes are rolling back in their heads, their hair is a mess, and you think they’ll agree to do just about anything… let your hands stray to your desired area of conquest. If you know your partner’s body like you should, and made them cum hard a few times, you’ll be surprised what they’ll let you get away with.
Tips…
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Spotlight: Sasha Grey
Welcome to Jane Blow After Dark, Links are NSFW, Happy Fapping!
Sasha is a force that cannot be denied. She joined the xxx industry with a firm head on her shoulders, and goals in mind. Ms. Grey takes an “all or nothing” approach to all she does, which definitely includes porno. Her first flick was Fashionistas Safado, and she costarred with the famed Rocco Siffredi. She made fast friends with the cast and especially Belladonna. Now she has over 200 movies under her belt (?) including stepping into mainstream, an ad for PETA , and onto Entourage as well. DESPITE what happened on the Tyra Banks show (is it so unbelievable that people LIKE porn?) oo look, “how to” vids made by SG herself! Oh, and she tweets.
Belladonna waited until now to release a movie aptly named Fuck Sasha Grey (plus a bunch of other titles) for this very moment in time (media flourish and all) and from the little I’ve watched of the never before released scenes; all I can say is a very impressed “wow”. Sasha Grey makes writing a spotlight easy because she is so naturally raw;I look forward to seeing what else she will do in her career. Her Whore Score™ is low (387), but remember she is just a “baby” and is playing her cards smart.
If you like Belladonna, Evil Angel, and the rougher side of porn… if you love watching a star who knows how to handle a cock and command the scene… and you haven’t watched Sasha… you should.
Here she is in an interview on G4 talking about starring on Entourage.
PS. Sasha, if you’re reading along, please stay natural!! You’ve got the cutest body, I’d die happy if I could bite your butt… and your beautiful long dark hair… I <3 you in the worst fangirl way!
More nsfw pics :plugs in her custom Hitachi wand: see ya later folks…
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The Current State of Social Porn
Special thanks to @AugieMania and The World’s Best Ever for this chart illustrating the Current State of Social Porn.
Before you look at the chart, I need to explain a couple things…
Alexa Rating: This in simple terms is the Internet’s popularity contest. This chart gives you the example that Google’s Alexa rating is #1. So the lower the number the more popular, most used, most looked at the site is.
Unique Viewer: This doesn’t mean the viewer is someone famous, it just means that the person has never been to the site before EVER. So if this post is your first ever visit to my website – you gave me a unique viewer hit :) (thanx!)
If you remember back to when I posted the List of Free Porn post, I ranked them randomly
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Barbie Says: I Don’t See What You Were Going For There.
Here we are again, back with more of the A-Z guide of sex with the letter “I”. Since I haven’t divulged into some of my sexual experiences for awhile, I’m going to tell you another bad sex story. Try not to laugh too much here.
I’m sure I have mentioned my Ex (let’s call him Tom) before in a previous post about anal, I have many ex’s and I do consider myself the biggest monogamous whore whilst dating them. But I continue to bring Tom up because, well to put this in the nicest way possible, he was fucking terrible at screwing. Seriously, it was just awful!
We dated for a year and a half and in that amount of time I had gotten only ONE orgasm. Tom is my prime example I use when I speak about listening to you’re partners. Knowing the difference between an “oooooh” and an “ahhhhh” which I have said before. It’s important because if you think you are doing better than you are at screwing us into a quivering mass of cum, then we’ll just start looking at you sideways. Here is a small knee slapper in which you can use as an example.
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Time to Play FMK: KARDASHIANS!
Hate Mondays? Lets start the week off right with a little FMK…
For those of you who use TV to unwind on a Sunday night before getting back to the weekly grind, “Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami” should be on your DVR list. It’s a show that doesn’t require much thought, and has a consistent flow of eye candy (after all it takes place in Miami).
This season the regulars are: Kourtney and Khloe Kardashian (duhh). As well as boyfriend and baby daddy to Kourtney Kardashian, Scott Disick and with a last name like that you cant blame her for not marrying him. I wouldn’t want my child to have that last name either, especially when Kardashian is such a cash cow! With guest appearances from some of the rest of the family, Kim and Rob Kardashian, and newly added family member basketball star, Lamar Odom (who word has it, has helped Khloe to give baby Mason a new cousin soon).
In case you’ve missed it feast your eyes on the following Ladies:
And for the Men:
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Sexlopedia: Looners
Are you a Looner? Not loner, not mooner, but looner.
But Jane, What’s a Looner??
I’ll tell ya. It is a person who LOVES balloons!
Balloon fetishism, is a fetish in which a person has a sexual fascination of balloons. The balloons provide all the sexual arousal or stimulation that this person can take. People with the balloon fetish often refer to themselves as “looners”.
The looner fetish itself varies greatly from looner to looner, some people enjoy only the act of inflation itself or viewing members of their desired sex inflating balloons, while others enjoy the act of popping the balloons. While other looners simply find stimulation in the color, clarity, smell, tactile sense, sound, or movement of the balloon itself.
Paraphrased from www.balloonfetish.co.uk (nsfw)
This fetish seems to be UK based, which is something I don’t understand. There are a few other fetishes that are more popular over seas that I’m sure we’ll get to… but I’m really curious to know if there is a looner community in the US.
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Nikki CoXXX Says: The Thrill Of The Chase. (Dealing With Hemorrhoids Sounds Like More Fun).
As 24 continues to creep up on me, I can’t help but to sometimes reminisce about my younger years. You know, those years that we thought we had it so bad… those years before we knew what trials and tribulations the world had in store for us. For example, in grade school, when a boy had a crush, he would poke his “Darla” with a stick, or tease the poor girl until she cried. As foolish and harsh as that method was back then, it now seems a lot less painless than what a 23 year old single woman has to deal with.
Continue reading this post →Payback is a bitch…
Erotica: Abduction From The BDSM Cafe
He was somewhat surprised at how quickly she agreed. The call was longer than five minutes, closer to twenty actually. The conversation did get somewhat sexual and kinky and he could sense that she was aroused. Later conversations would reveal that she had been. He didn’t attempt to control her, not until the goodbye’s were being said.
“Well, Sarah, it was a pleasure talking to you,” he said.
“Good, I enjoyed it as well. Call me again sometime.”
“I have an assignment for you once we hang up,” he said.
“So you are going to be my teacher now?”
“It is not that kind of assignment. I want you to get your jelly toy out and fuck yourself with it.”
There was a brief silence followed by a giggle.
“Ok, I just may do that,” she said.
“That’s not the response I expect from you. You know better than that.”
“Yes, Sir.” “Good night, Sarah. I will write you later.”
“Goodnight, Sir.”
Things progressed rapidly from that day forward.
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Jane Says: Surprising Your Partner is Good pt 1
If you’re trying to add some spice to your relationship, it is a good thing as long as you take little steps. Many people go to adult shops with the idea of bringing home something exciting but get overwhelmed by how much “stuff” is available. But I can help you, so that when you go back home there isn’t a case of the blind leading the blind!
For first time buyers and tryers I always recommend a lotion that does something special such as warm, or tingle. A little bottle of lube isn’t going to scare someone away and is a great first step.
If they already tried a lotion, I’ll ask if they have any toys, if no, we start with the basics. A vibrating egg, or bullet toy works wonders. You can hold it in your hand for a massage, or against your cheek/lips for added pleasure during oral sex, they can be used for mutual masturbation and can be held against the clit for more stimulation during sex. They are a must for anyone to own.
I ask “yes, no” questions so it is easier for a new client to communicate with me without getting embarrassed. This usually warms them up to the shop, me and they are able to ask more personal direct questions. My goal is their happiness, not making a sale.
My third suggestion is always…
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About Jane Blow
Jane Blow Website is an awesome team of sex positive writers. Jane Blow and her team of Chanel Covington, Nikki CoXXX, Silo Johnson, Justin LiGreci and Dr. Slick have joined together to help you with life’s sexual mysteries and mishaps.