Sexpert Jane Blow » BarbiexHardcore

Barbie Says: K is for Keeping it Clean

BarbiexHardcore — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 14:27:20 +0000

Since the 80′s have come and go long ago so if you are still rocking that 80′s overgrown bush between your legs I have a couple tips and tricks on how to give it a clean shave. This way your bikini will be looking oh so adorable at the beach.

As you’ve learned a few tricks from shaving your legs (hopefully you shave those), then you know a lot of things come from trial and error. I can give a few tips from my own trial and error and just general knowledge of shaving, which of course is for those of you who haven’t done it before.

1- If you have your full grown bush going on then you can’t exactly start with just the razor, it’ll clog up the razor and you’ll come out patchy and wind up taking you forever. First step on this is to trim it down, get a scissor and start clipping away.

2-When you are ready to start shaving it’s best to do it in the shower, let the the warm water loosen and relax your skin. So do other stuff first, like wash your hair and shave your pits. Once your skin is all loose from the hot water then you can start.

3-DO NOT shave with soap. If you aren’t supposed to do that on your legs why the hell would you put it on the vag! Shaving cream is a no no also. My vote of confidence goes to hair conditioner (or Coochy Shave Lotion). It goes on in a thin layer on your skin, you still possess the ability to see through it and find any rogue hair. It also conditions your skin so it is an all around win-win scenario.

4-Pick a good razor, for some reason men’s razors always do it better and today I actually just tried the men’s vibrating razor. That is my all around preference, you don’t feel the vibrations so I’m sorry to say there are no shower shaving orgasms. Of course that is my personal preference, find whatever works for you.

5- When you do shave this is the simple tip almost everyone knows, shave down first with the hair, when all that is done shave up against the grain. Don’t forget to move diagonally because your hair does grow diagonally. Just make sure that you NEVER move the razor sideways, or else you could wind up with those lovely 3 horizontal razor cuts on your precious little spot.

Those few tips should get you started but the rest my little darlings is all trial and error. So good luck and happy shaving, make sure you put that smooth skin to good use.

<3 Barbie

Barbie Says: J is for Just In Case

BarbiexHardcore — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 14:03:59 +0000

This week I ventured back to a place I called home for about 3 years, the porn shop where Jane Blow and I had met. It’s a big warehouse STOCKED FULL of sex toys and pornos, they have anything from almost every walk of life. From the normal “oops it fell in my ass” to the stuff likely to be found in EuroTrip’s Vondersexxx.

While I stopped back to my old home I was reminded of how many times I would suggest things to people and say “just in case!” These idiots would ALWAYS shake their head no and look at me like I was being pushy. Then about an hour later they would slink back in and try to hurriedly buy what I had suggested not to long ago. Not to say I’m always right about what you need but sex is spontaneous, if you come home with a brand new toy, then you have to expect the unexpected.

So today here is a small list of items of things that are perfect for those “JUST IN CASE” type of moments, and some reasons why if you find yourself questioning my logic.

1-Condoms- Besides the fact of social diseases you never know who is insane. Men- how can you be so sure a woman is on some form of birth control and not just lying, or that the birth control is working. Did you know that antibiotics render birth control useless? That means for an entire month after a girl finishes antibiotics that she is fertile. Can you really be sure that she won’t take you on Maury? Women- how can you be ever so positive that he will pull out? There is a brand of men out there who just enjoy busting a nut in unsuspecting women and watching them get really pissed off an upset. I know all of these are rare scenarios, but still ever so possible.

2-LUBE!!! No one ever thinks they need it until a girl runs dry (which does happen) or when a woman every so sweetly offers anal (which yes, also happens). Do you want to be sitting there staring at each other in complete confusion? Yea, I didn’t think so.

3-Sweeten 69- If you (much like myself) enjoy foreplay of orally pleasing the other, but at dinner you just watched them chow down on 3 lbs of asparagus, then you’ll need Sweeten 69. It’s a pill in which it sweetens the fluids whom ever takes it, only takes about an hour to take effect but well worth the wait.

4-Massage oils- In the scenario where Sweeten 69 is needed, go and get massage oils, what else will you do with that hour of time. You need to keep each other interested so you don’t lose the mood, nothing is better than an erotic massage, just tickling and touching ALL the lovely places.

5- Batteries- This is logic I NEVER understood. How do you walk in, buy a vibrator to surprise your loved one with and then never get the batteries. Do you expect your significant other to say “that’s nice, I’ll hit CVS tomorrow for those AAA’s”. Please for even just the sake of the people who sold it to you, just buy the batteries so we know that you at least had fun THAT night.

It’s a small list but it is critical stuff, so pick it up on your first trip to the “adult novelty” shops, because let’s face it, most aren’t 24 hours and you might not want to admit that the person behind the counter was right ALLL along about what you’d need. So take your new list and go forth, enjoy sex and everything about it!!

Barbie <3

p.s.- fo llow us on twitter for more random stuff!!!

Barbie Says: I Don’t See What You Were Going For There.

BarbiexHardcore — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 13:31:40 +0000

Here we are again, back with more of the A-Z guide of sex with the letter “I”. Since I haven’t divulged into some of my sexual experiences for awhile, I’m going to tell you another bad sex story. Try not to laugh too much here.

I’m sure I have mentioned my Ex (let’s call him Tom) before in a previous post about anal, I have many ex’s and I do consider myself the biggest monogamous whore whilst dating them. But I continue to bring Tom up because, well to put this in the nicest way possible, he was fucking terrible at screwing. Seriously, it was just awful!

We dated for a year and a half and in that amount of time I had gotten only ONE orgasm. Tom is my prime example I use when I speak about listening to you’re partners. Knowing the difference between an “oooooh” and an “ahhhhh” which I have said before. It’s important because if you think you are doing better than you are at screwing us into a quivering mass of cum, then we’ll just start looking at you sideways. Here is a small knee slapper in which you can use as an example.

So Tom, who was about 6’4 and 200 lbs of muscle at the age of 22 (which was when we were fucking in case you were unsure), he was and still in A LOT bigger than me. Since he had over foot of height on me, it was kind of difficult to do a lot of positions, we stuck with the basics. The severely basic, because in all honesty doggy style only worked if I was kneeling on a mattress and he was standing up, otherwise I’d be struggling on my tippy-toes and he would be crouching down, in retrospect it is a funny image.

One night I was riding the ever living shit out of Tom, when suddenly my hip starts feeling tense and POP out of the socket it goes! (Random fact: my hips just do that sometimes, not really a hospital situation -more of pain in the ass, or hip rather.) Out of all the words in the dictionary all I could gather was an “OHHHHH FUCKKKKKK!” Which Tom clearly misconstrued as some sort of thought that he was the Greek God of sex. As his ego inflated he screamed out “YEA BABY!” and slapped my ass like he was putting out a fire. Due to my lack of balance since I had shifted my weight to the other hip, the ass slap actually forced me off of his cock (not something I give up easily), it ended with me on the floor clenching my hip and my ass, while giving a look of pure hate.

Not only couldn’t Tom tell the difference between an “ooh” and an “ahh”, he couldn’t even hear an “OW”, so this was an extreme case. But I warn you now that if you don’t start listening to your partner, or watching their body as it talks to you, then you might just wind up with an unfinished sex session and someone who is none to pleased with you. My advice would be to listen harder, and always think before you ass slap that hard.

Barbie <3

Dear Jane: I Used to Finish Before Her, Now I Get Numb!

BarbiexHardcore — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 16:13:34 +0000

Dear Jane,

I used to be concerned with cumming too soon. Now it seems the tables have turned. I focus on pleasing my lady and only think about cumming after she’s satisfied. By that time, my dick is almost completely numb. How can I find a healthy balance?

As a woman, I can say that seems like the best table in the restaurant. But not entirely fair to you; good thing I have a three special suggestions on my menu today.

Is she slacking on you a little since she is so spoiled now? If so, turn the table on her a bit and ask for a blow job before you go down on her, and have sex. It’ll ease your mind about cumming too soon, you’ll be pleased from the beginning, and you’ll both be able to enjoy sex its orgasms.

You can get something for yourself that will encourage your brain to remember about your own needs. I suggest a shiny 2″ metal cock ring. Yep. You can get one online, or in your local adult shop – if they don’t have them, they can order it for you. The Lex Steele ring from Topco is my favorite, and my stunt cock’s favorite too. No, I’m not just saying that… I know there are others. We’ve tried rings from Spartacus and California Exotics; silicone, and rubber rings too. I’m trying to get my hands on a Cobra.

Put your balls through it first, then your penis – WHILE YOU ARE SOFT. That is the best way, and the best kind of ring to wear FOR YOU. Your orgasm will feel 10x better, which can easily jump start your brain into being a little selfish.

The ring helps keep you harder than morning wood as well, so really it is a win win win situation. Trust me, don’t be nervous. Once you cum, you can take the ring off. This time it isn’t about “needing” a ring for “help”, it is to enhance your experience and be a physical reminder for your brain to focus on… plus… they look crazy sexy. Some people describe cock rings as “bras for your cock” because it lifts your erection and makes it bigger. I think they’re drool enticing because I know my guy means business when he puts it on.

Change positions, go from oral on you, to sex, to oral on her, to sex, to more oral on you. A good mix of changing things up a couple of times during a sex session can also help you. You found a menu that works for her, but it is your turn now!

Thanks for asking your question, I hope I helped; if you want more info don’t hesitate to ask. That goes for the rest of you out there too! Ask me anything, and I’ll answer you.

Weird & Stupid News: Dumbass at Citibank

BarbiexHardcore — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 14:31:10 +0000

It was tough to find anything in the news other than Lady Gaga half naked (as if to say that is news anymore) or about the BP oil spill, but I did manage to find this gem of a woman. She really is a big twat…TWIT, I meant twit!

Meet Debrahlee Lorenzana, not only is her name a mouth full but she is such a dumbass. This sweater jockey is telling the world that she was fired by Citibank for being “too attractive”.

The story goes that she was working in a Citibank branch and 2 of her male managers would approach her and say that they just couldn’t concentrate with her around. Even so far as to say turtlenecks were too sexy. I’m not sure if we all have the same definition of turtle neck here, but its that awful shirt you wear when your 14 and covering your first really bad hickey. Not exactly sure how that’s sexy but I digress. She received a job transfer and 2 weeks later was fired from her new job location.
Now I’m not a tough judger here, but this woman is cute, got a nice rack even, but to not be able to work around is a stretch. Due to some digging by the New York Post, I won’t lie I totally let them do the digging on this one. Debrahlee Lorenzana was on reality tv, on Discovery Health to be exact. She was talking about how she was getting plastic surgery, to get bigger tits to be specific, she also spoke about how she wants only successful men and she doesn’t even want her tit job to look real anymore. Just a thought I had, but if your getting a tit job done KNOWING it won’t look like real tits then how can you expect to get pissy at male attention. Either way I’m glad this woman doesn’t work at Citibank anymore, I still have an account there and I need her to not be the dingbat that answers the phone when I come calling.
Moral of the story: if you make stuff bigger people will pay attention to it, so don’t complain. That’s why there’s the world’s biggest everything.

In the immortal words of Red Foreman (That 70′s Show) “Don’t be a dumbass”

Barbie <3

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Weird & Stupid News: Twitter Hacks NSFW

BarbiexHardcore — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 14:06:12 +0000

Through out my years, which happens to be only 23, I have discovered that I have no greater joy than watching someone else’s misfortune. An old lady falls and I laugh, babies drive their parents so crazy that the parents turn up drowning the babies in a car they rolled into a river….I giggle with joy. All too often enough though I find myself having to describe this scene to others and not doing it justice, but hackers have truly made this easier for me. Not only by hacking someone’s computer like the lovely MANY Miley Cyrus hacks and just exposing pictures to the internet. OH NO MY FRIEND!! Someone did one better and tweeted that shit to the world. Poor little Hayley Williams, which you know as the possible fire-crotch from Paramore, took a topless pictures and it got tweeted to the world.

It’s true, I must give credit where it is due. Credit goes to:

1-The hacker man, you’re a genius, we love you, and please go hacking some more, as soon as Miley turns 18 get us her dirty little secrets, we already know she’s kinda skanky.

2-Hayley Williams, to be truthful with you here on this one, you little ginger you, I didn’t think you had anything good hiding under there. I pretty much assumed they were lopsided and looking in different directions. But your little chocolate chip nipples won me over darling, I have been keeping this picture on my phone and it is OH so worth it. Way to go for making the itty bitty titty committee look good again!

Back to you guys, go and jerk off to her tits! Just remember when you done, to stay smart and out of the news. Also get some firewalls or something before your naked pics pop up somewhere.

Barbie <3

Barbie Says: F is for FFFUUUCK

BarbiexHardcore — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 15:11:03 +0000

WE’RE NOW ON THE F INSTALLMENT OF THE A-Z GUIDE TO BANGING!!

For those of you guys out there who haven’t given a lady the kind of sex she needs, you guys should be aware that when we like what you’re doing a whole lot we let out the nice big “OH FFFFFUUUUCK!“ You’ll know it when you hear it cause we kind of drag out that f’s and the u’s. This trick of getting us to say that is to listen to us, know the difference between an “ooh” and an “ahh”, know which noises are good noises and bad hurty noises. The big difference is knowing the “RIGHT THERE!”

I know this an issue for you guys. Seriously, I’ve asked around and every single girl I have ever met who isn’t a virgin, had encountered this problem. It’s a fierce plague encroaching on all males around the world. This plague is known as sexual directional disability, or at least that’s what I like to call it. It exists only during sex when a woman yells “RIGHT THERE!” Something changes in a guy’s brain when he hears those words, all the sudden his dick is completely in shock and has a phobia of hitting that spot which was ohh so lovely. You could have been pounding on it for 10 minutes straight but as soon as we admit to liking it, you have got to find a brand new parking spot for you cock.

Sadly I have no cure for this yet besides calling all men dumbasses and beating them for it. I will admit to having slapped a guy for gypping me out of an orgasm. The only thing I will suggest is for us ladies to no longer tell men what we enjoy for fear that we will never cum again (but only this one time! Talk about it after so you don’t scare him away from the orgasm). Also men, can you really just even try to keep at it? It’s so sad when you get so close to a toe curling, white knuckle fist clenching fun and it just slips away so quickly. Even thinking about it now just makes me give the sad puppy face.

I would like to start a campaign now; men tell me please how to remedy this problem!!! I’ve done tons of research, well practice really, and I’m drawing a mental blank. THE WORLD NEEDS HELP!!!

<3 Barbie

Sexlopedia: Blumpkin

BarbiexHardcore — Mon, 24 May 2010 13:53:28 +0000

Uh oh… this word is one of those “YOU WANT WHAT?!” situations.

Blumpkin: The act of a man receiving a blow job while dropping a deuce in the toilet. *note: this only applies to men if there were any questions about it*

I was pretty unsure about this one, so I had to ask a few guys about this. So while doing my survey amongst friends only a couple have received a blumpkin and they swear by it. The others nodded excitedly saying that taking the morning hop to the bathroom is comparable to a blow job. Not in the thought that it feels the same because clearly it doesn’t, but apparently it is equally as relaxing. They explained it as the combination of 2 releases at once feels “gloriously relaxing“.

I’m still skeptical but I figured I’d share it with you guys to get your opinions or at least get your wheels turning on some fun thoughts to mess around with. So let me know what you think and if anyone tries it PLEASE do let me know. I’m curious!

Barbie <3

Random Posts

Want to Play Twister?: The Big Dipper

BarbiexHardcore — Fri, 21 May 2010 17:15:40 +0000

The position that lets you get sexy looking while getting some sexy time.

The more you do the more you can skip the gym!

Our positions might range from the “NO HUMAN CAN POSSIBLY DO THAT” sort of reaction to the “Hey I could give that a try”. This one is pretty simple. I keep seeing this exercise in chick magazines (and in porn), it shows you how to fix arm flab and it is called “The Big Dipper”.

Unfortunately I do not have a picture of this position to make it easier to show you but I’m sure you guys are aware of the dip exercise. For the men – what you are going to need to do is put your feet up on a chair (or against the wall, closet, couch…) and your arms on another chair, now do your dips. For the women- stand straddling his hips. Women this works your thighs holding you in a semi squat position and men this works out your arms.

This position has all the good benefits of missionary in the deepness aspect and the lovely spots it hits on women. It also provides for harder thrusts, there is more room to work it with everything you’ve got (no pesky blankets or pillows getting tangled by your feet) and this is a VERY good position for you at home porn makers. So turn on you camera, get your work out on and get off!

<3 Barbie

Random Posts

Review: Laya Spot

BarbiexHardcore — Thu, 20 May 2010 14:31:26 +0000

This weeks review is not exactly a review but a bragging of some sort. My all time favorite toy, my Laya Spot, which I’ve ever so sweetly named Layla. Not because it’s similar to Laya but because like the song Layla “has got me on my knees and I’m always begging for more”. Now I find myself bragging, so back to the original point.

The Laya Spot is looks like a funny shape and in some pictures it looks oddly large. I can assume you it is just a big bigger then a deck of cards, length wise that is. The shape was specifically designed for women, the outside is curved to the hand of a woman and the triangular underside is designe to fit snuggle in the lips of our lady parts. Again this sounds weird but assure you it’s not, it’s from Germany (Fun Factory to be exact) so therefore it is bound to rock!

This super quiet toy ranges in speeds and variations to make you shake and it’s super simple to work. The whole thing is operated by 2 buttons a + and a -, it’s practically idiot proof. To turn on all you have to do is hold down the plus sign ’til it lights up red; it starts at a low vibration, press it again and it goes to medium and then again to high. Now you have the idea of how to work it. After those 3 settings you have 4 variations of vibration including pulse and a gradual raising of vibration. To go back a setting or turn off press the minus button and it will take one step back, hold it and it will shut down. Simple enough!

This toy has other upsides, it’s made of medical grade silicone, which if you weren’t sure it’s good because nonporous and it can be sterilized easily. It’s also water proof so you can have some splish splash fun; it’s surprisingly quiet for all the power it gives off. Now ladies if that didn’t sell you on it, it comes in a ton of colors! You can finally get a toy you think is adorable! Not just get stuck with some pink sparkly eyesore that looks like a unicorns horn fell off. So get one in your favorite colors and TRUST ME she’ll have you on your knees too!!!

Rating: + + + + + !!

<3 Barbie

Weird & Stupid News: Really Washington ??!!

BarbiexHardcore — Wed, 19 May 2010 14:23:59 +0000

Normally in the news section I show you the idiots in the news doing some random stuff, mostly being naked. But this time my friends I am preparing to keep you OUT of the news. While being a random internet fiend I stumbled across a lovely law in Washington that states “It is against the law to have sex with a virgin under any circumstances. (Including the wedding night).”Now guys, if you are EVER in Washington state, take them across state lines and fuck those chicks stupid!! That is the promised land!!! A place where almost every chick a virgin, theoretically.

Also doing some other research just to make sure no one can get in trouble I also stumbled upon this little tid-bit of a law, in Connorsville, Wisconsin “No man shall shoot off a gun while his female partner is having a sexual orgasm.” That just seems unfair! What if he wants to celebrate making his girl cum like the dickens?! Really these laws today are severely getting out of control. Nothing turns me on than someone firing off a Smith & Wesson while I am busy screaming “OH FUCK YES!”

Here is your official warning people, stay smart and out of the news, because I won’t think twice about plastering the internet with your picture.

<3 Barbie

Barbie Says: C is for Counting

BarbiexHardcore — Tue, 18 May 2010 17:34:07 +0000

Giving girls an orgasm, awesome stuff. Giving us more than one, we’ll be bragging all the next day.

Welcome back to my A-Z series of good sex, or what Jane Blow likes to call “the cheat sheet to getting me off”. We’ve covered some anal and blow jobs, now we are on to Counting.

I’ll give men credit (I don’t do that often so seriously enjoy this pat on the back guys!), you have come a long way since a few years ago where men were just doing the hump and grunt routine (some still do that but I won’t label all men for it). Most guys want the ladies to orgasm first, which is nothing to whine at. But most women -like me- want to start being selfish. We want more that one, it doesn’t have to be done all the time, just mix it up once in awhile for us. Trust me, there are PLENTY of upsides to giving us that much joy.

Here’s a list of the upsides:

1- If you pump us full of happiness we’ll pump up your ego. We’ll scream anything you want and claw at everything around and probably swear up and down to all our friends (for weeks on end) that your a sexual jesus.

2- We might end up exhausted that night, but it will get our wheels turning on returning the favor to you as soon as we can function. You’ll be handsomely rewarded for all of your troubles. Just think of it this way, one night of long exhausting fun to be paid back in sexy outfits, massages, blow jobs and any kind of sex you want.

3- I’m like a guy in the sense that after some sex I like my quiet time, just to relax and enjoy that nice after orgasm tingle. I understand what it’s like when the other person just WON’T shut up. Well there’s no quicker way to get someone to settle down than by exhausting them. Get us into a good sweat and barely breathing, once it’s all done and handled you might not realize if she is in a sex induced coma.

If none of those reasons sound good well then enjoy that fact that you can make us happy. Nothing gets easier on your life than keeping a woman happy. Now go forth and make us orgasm!!

<3 Barbie

Spotlight: Jack Lawrence

BarbiexHardcore — Tue, 18 May 2010 15:20:46 +0000

Honestly, I know we tend to reserve the Spotlight posts for the female porn stars, BUT SCREW IT!!! This man gets me all kinds of riled up!!

Jack Lawrence, ohhhhhhh boy! Where do I even begin with this gorgeous display of manhood? (Well besides the fact that his wikipedia page should be updated hardcore, seriously I know more about this guy!) Ever since I watched the wonderful Jack in Chemistry he stole my heart and had me racing to get home to relieve the ton of tension he put in me.

The thing about Jack Lawrence unlike most male adult film stars is that he LOVES to eat out a girl AND he does it right. Most guys just give off the look of Scooby Doo trying to get to the center of a Tootsie pop. This ex-cop (another reason I adore him) shows balls to the walls commitment for his job. Seriously though, in a shoot for “America Loves Bush” Mr. Lawrence wore a George W mask that encased his whole head, the bad thing here is that the breathing holes were pretty small. So during a scene in which Jack is going heavy and hard doggy style he actually managed to pass out! Good thing he was with a true professional and life saver cause the beautiful Penny Flame continued to go to town while he was passed out on the bed.

Jack is also known for being the master of porn parodies! Here is a picture where he played Dr. Cox in “Scrubs: A XXX Parody“! He’s also been in a parody of Gilligan’s Island, Reno 911 and most recently started shooting on a Hustler parody of “Cops”. How do I know this? I stalk his twitter page and you should too! He’s down to earth, knows how to fuck, hot as all hell, big fan of posting pictures on his twitter page and he loves to go down on girls.

For about 90% of the men who’s faces I have sat on please go rent Chemistry and take some notes. It’s a favor he has done all of mankind to show you his beautiful talented tongue. That’s the best tip I can offer men today on learning how to please a woman. Now I’m off to go masturbate to Jack Lawrence for about the 15th time today.

Editor’s Note: OMG JACK!! SO HOT. He loves to work on his cars, do random solo shows on his site, and is very interactive with his fans too. <3

<3Barbie

Weird & Stupid News: The Fapper in the Next Cubicle

BarbiexHardcore — Wed, 12 May 2010 13:58:45 +0000

Ever wonder what your coworkers think of you? If only you were as lucky as this lady…

Who hasn’t been sent some kind of porn from their boss at work? A regular giggle fest! OK, maybe I’ve worked at some different places, the kind where I could show 2 girls 1 cup to my bosses and they thought I was hilarious! Karen Lo struck gold though, her boss sent her a video of someone whacking off (complete with the end explosion scene). Too bad Karen got all bent out of shape and proposed that the whacker man (who’s face is off camera) is her boss.

Typical! She just thinks a guy sends her a video of some male masturbation and she’s gotta assume the man is jerking it just for her. Her ego must be built like a brick shit house! Well in any case I hope the fapping man gets to spend more of his time choking the chicken on the internet (Chatroulette!). Little Miss Karen Lo is taking her boss to court, and let’s hope she loses and get brought up on sexual harassment for picturing her boss’s head on the body of a naked internet jack off!

Stay smart and out of the news!

<3 Barbie

Helping Guys Build an Arsenal – FLESHLIGHT!

Barbie Says: B is for Blow Jobs!

BarbiexHardcore — Tue, 11 May 2010 13:49:57 +0000

I am a huge believer in blow jobs. Face it ladies (and gents) men have to do a lot for us, they have to figure out our likes/dislikes, emotions, pay for us if you’re a traditionalist, etc. The least we could do is go south of the border and give them a little loving. A blow job for a guy is kind of like giving flowers to a girl, its a great gift and there is never a wrong time for it. It’s something a man will (rarely) never turn down and will never go un-returned. (OK, it might go un-returned for an hour or that night, but the next time you go at it, TRUST me!)

Personally nothing gets me revved up to go more than actually getting down and giving a blow job. Something about the power of holding someone’s orgasm in your hands (or mouth) is such a turn on. During sex it is a give and take situation but while giving a blow job the I am the only true reason someone is going to get off.

There is tons of fun to be had while giving a good old BJ if you’re like me and like the power. You can speed up to make him go quick or slow down to make it last a good long time, OR my personal favorite the speed up until he’s right there and SLOOOOW down. Give it a shot, he might want to punch you in the teeth for like 5 minutes but then he’ll thank you for it later.

Sexlopedia: The Gooch!

BarbiexHardcore — Mon, 10 May 2010 14:43:11 +0000

This weeks word is a bit of an anatomy lesson, but hey at least you know what and where it is!

The Gooch:(noun) [gu-ch] Also know as “The Grundle” and more scientifically The Perineum. The area of skin found on a male which can be found between the balls and anus.

Now that you have the definition you can know why this info is useful! The penis is really longer than you think! Seriously, it is! It isn’t just that fun part we see on the outside but its also deep inside as well. The erectile tissue actually goes back towards his anus. When a man gets hard that whole thing gets hard! You haven’t noticed, because you didn’t know what to feel for.

This is where it can get fun, the gooch is just as nerve packed as the rest of the shaft; possibly even more so because right behind it is the guy’s prostate. While giving a blow job what you can do to give a little more stimulation is take your knuckle and rub up against it. You have more control in that area with a knuckle instead of a finger. Now be aware not to go too far, some men might perceive it as you going to shove a finger in his bum. That is another issue in itself- but if he is uncomfortable with you being that close to his asshole then let him know you aren’t interested in getting to the fudge factory and stick to the massage. Keep giving things a try!

Happy rubbing loves!

<3Barbie

FACT! Melts In Your Mouth – Not In Your Hands?

BarbiexHardcore — Fri, 07 May 2010 13:46:21 +0000

The average number of calories in male ejaculation is 5 … which is the same as 2 m&m’s! Fun, tasty and LOW FAT!!

Source: Dr. Belisa Vranich, Clinical Psychologist.

<3 Barbie

Random Posts

Weird & Stupid News: Tiger Woods Has Bad Lines

BarbiexHardcore — Wed, 05 May 2010 13:42:35 +0000

No one loves cheesy pick up lines like I do, but at least make it funny. That goes to you Tiger Woods!!!

Tiger Woods the cheater of all cheats managed to get laid with the WORST pick up line ever! Sometimes you have to wonder exactly how big he is packing in the pants or what he buys these women. According to news reports it went a little something like this,

“What’s this?” he’d ask, rubbing the tips of his shoes together. “A black guy taking off his condom.”

Apparently he used that line on a stripper, who later became his mistress. Back when I worked in a porn store I heard better lines than that at least every 2 hours, and I sure as hell wasn’t someone’s mistress. Someone was definitely throwing more that singles at that stripper.

Stay smart and out of the news!

<3 Barbie

Barbie Says: A is for ANAL!

BarbiexHardcore — Tue, 04 May 2010 14:41:46 +0000

Welcome to the first in a series of 26 things (following the alphabet) that I couldn’t agree more with!

Anal, some say it’s taboo or dirty or even just plain wrong. Now I am aware you can’t teach an old dog new tricks and there is no converting someone who is already set in their ways BUT hopefully I can get to all you fence sitters about giving anal a try! The more you keep an open mind about anal sex or even anal foreplay, then the more you discover about yourself.

Also don’t let one bad experience dictate everything, Ladies you all know the first time you have sex is the WORST, but yet you try it again after that. Why don’t we work the same way with anal?

To ease the pain of listening to me drone on about anal sex for awhile I’ll cut this short, sweet and comical by telling you of MY lovely first time having anal sex. I was 16 and dating a guy who was in his early 20′s, he was well experienced in anal sex and promise it was worth it. At that point in time he was trying to romance me by bringing me on a “dingy” he called a boat so I guess the only trick you have left is to making promises about anal sex. I reluctantly agreed and with VERY little anal foreplay involved we got down to the nitty gritty. Since obviously in a boat we weren’t well prepared and therefore lacking in the lube department we used Lubriderm (I SHIT YOU NOT!!!! PLEASE don’t ever try that at home!).

Now this guy (I’m not just saying this because he is an Ex, it’s the truth here) doesn’t have the length or girth to make regular sex uncomfortable with the virgin mary, but still shoving that at my ass was uncomfortable to say the least. Yours truly being and awesome girlfriend at the time clenched my jaw and waited until he was done, to this day I still have no idea why I didn’t just say stop or talk about how uncomfortable I was.

After that 15 minutes of anal sex was over (being generous here with the time), the idea of anal sex was a very distant thought to even say the least. Only when I was watching porn and realizing some women really do love it did I consider it again. Although this time I was smarter, instead of jumping on some guy- I bought sex toys and with the thought of “who can I trust more than myself”. Discoverig what I did and didn’t like, how to relax some muscles, what felt like proper anal foreplay and so on. I did this until I felt comfortable trying it with a person because then I could easily say if I was ready or not. Years later I am down for any kind of anal play! Well, anything short of a fist in my butt.

What I am getting at here is that don’t let one terrible experience ruin something that could be awesome. If you are nervous talk to your partner – do what I did and go on some solo adventures! You can’t say you don’t like something until you fully give it a go, so give it the good old college try!

Always keep an open mind, and NEVER use Lubriderm!
<3 Barbie

Sexlopedia: Rim Job

BarbiexHardcore — Mon, 03 May 2010 18:04:57 +0000

It sounds very mechanical but I promise you it’s as easy as 1, 2, LICK!!

This is for all you anal connoisseurs out there!

Rim Job: The act of stimulating your partner’s sphincter with your tongue is called “rimming”. May also be known as “Analingus”.

For anal to be pleasurable for both participants you have to make sure that the muscles in the anus are relaxed, and giving rim jobs is an awesome way to do such. It’s surprisingly awesome, and the tongue supplies an amount of pressure that is similar to a massage and can be very soothing.

I understand that this isn’t for everyone to try, but if you are interested in giving this a shot make sure everything is SUPER clean! Even give a flavored lube a try, there are a bunch of delicious brands and flavors.

A good way to give a quick test try Rimming: when your going down on your partner just over extend a lick down to their ass and see what they does. If they stop you play it off as a mistake and if they like it keep going! You are taking the first step on the path to get some back door loving if they are holding out on you.

Good luck and happy licking on your lovers!

<3 Barbie

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