My first kiss… sucked. I got slobbered on, and my hoodie got attached to a fence.
The first time I had sex… sucked. My ex had/I’m assuming still has a small penis, and he almost got me pregnant… twice.
The first time a guy broke my heart… sucked. But, unlike the physical, (which you can alter from person to person), all the experience in the world CAN’T give me less of an urge to cry over a pint of Ben and Jerry’s Chunky Monkey when my mind becomes cluttered with the idea of what once was, and what could have been.
Nikki CoXXX Says
Nikki CoXXX Says: The First Time For Everything… Sucks.
Categories: Jane Says, Nikki CoXXX Says
Tags: moving on, not so happy birthdays, The First Time Sucks
Discuss: There are no comments, add your take.
Nikki CoXXX Says: Pussy Power Part III, I’m Not Sorry For What I Did, I’m Sorry That I Got Caught.
Ladies and gentleman, the jig is up. Mr. “I used to mind fuck the shit out of the girl that was willing to rip her heart out of her chest for me, actually grew a set of balls by taking control of a situation that consumed her mental well being,” found my blog posts. Since I didn’t receive the proper opportunity to defend myself, I’m using up these 500 characters, (Yeah ok, I don’t think I can express my hatred in 500 words or less), to wrap up the end of an era.
Trouble is, the most destructive and unhealthy habits are usually the hardest to break. “Certain people can become like a drug to you, literally,” explains Janice Levine, Ph.D., author of Why Do Fools Fall in Love? “They can elicit a chemical reaction in the brain, releasing endorphins, adrenaline and oxytocin. You become physically and mentally addicted to them.
Keep reading →
Categories: Jane Says, Nikki CoXXX Says
Tags: damaged goods, emotional/mental abuse, exs
Discuss: There are no comments, add your take.
Nikki CoXXX Says: When The Revolving Door Of Your Past Keeps Hitting You In The Ass.
They always say it’s important to find humor in the bad stuff that happens to us, so I assume that’s why I find humor in a man’s sixth sense. A.K.A knowing when a female gets dumped; the ex can smell the departure of a failed attempt to move on, and will swoop in to re-piss on his, “territory.” To make matters worse, I have just noticed that I keep three men in an odd rotation – likely because the idea of letting someone new see me naked petrifies me.
Just got dumped? Don’t be a crabby ass, call your ex!
Keep reading →
Categories: Jane Says, Nikki CoXXX Says
Tags: brown bag sex, exs, revolving door
Discuss: There are no comments, add your take.
Nikki CoXXX Says: Breaking News: Men Can Be Stage Five Clingers, Too
We are on the verge of 2011, and our society is still flooded with double standards. The idea of what’s considered, “acceptable,” depending on if you have a penis or a vagina between your legs, kind of makes me want to laugh, cry and punch a hole in the wall all at the same time. For example: The Stage Five Clinger. Keep reading →
Categories: Jane Says, Nikki CoXXX Says
Tags: clingers
Discuss: There are no comments, add your take.
Nikki CoXXX Says: Pussy Power Part II. My Pussy Is A Real Pussy.
If you are human and have a soul, you know what it’s like for your heart to skip a beat. The whole world stops, your heart jumps into your throat, and you throw up the white flag to your emotions. If you’re like me, your nerves send you running to the bathroom. It was at this very moment that I had wished someone was in my car to go all Jigsaw on my ass. You know, something along the lines of forcing me to chop off my own hands, to only then sew them back to my arms within an hour to prove my self worth… or die. As sick and neurotic as it may seem, I sometimes question if I need to endure this kind of pain to prevent myself from crawling back to HIM.
If this doesn’t keep you away from an asshole, nothing will.
Keep reading →
Categories: Jane Says, Nikki CoXXX Says
Tags: ex boyfriend, jersey shore
Discuss: There are no comments, add your take.
Nikki CoXXX Says: Pussy Power
Ladies, can we honestly be surprised that since the beginning of time, we’ve been branded with the, “over emotional, irrational, lay on our backs and take a lot of bull shit from the opposite sex because we’ll ALWAYS see the brighter side of the situation,” stereotype? It’s fact that women think with their emotions, while men reach decisions based on logic, (and their dicks). But ladies, our pussy’s aren’t only useful for giving birth or for mind blowing orgasms… if we used them properly, we really could rule the world.
Who brought the asshole?
Categories: Jane Says, Nikki CoXXX Says
Tags: assholes, orgasms, pussy power
Discuss: There is 1 comment, add your take.
Nikki CoXXX Says: Wing Women, That’s What Freinds Are For.
Urban dictionary defines Wing Man as the following, a friend of yours who will distract the fat hater friend so you can hook up with the hot girl. Opposite of a cockblocker.
Keep reading →
“The Grenade”
Categories: Jane Says, Nikki CoXXX Says
Tags: cock blocks, grenade, taking one for the team, wing woman
Discuss: There are no comments, add your take.
Nikki CoXXX Says: Having Sex With Your Ex. In Other Words, Oops, I Slipped And Fell On His Penis.
I never understood why a break-up is called… a break-up. When you end a relationship with someone, for whatever reason, it’s the curtain call, the series finale of train wreck that had to come to an end before two people kill each other.
However, 9/10 of us will go back for seconds, thirds, and sometimes, even fourths. (When the sex is that good, it’s hard to keep track). In the heat of the moment, ex sex is a safety net for women who are not looking to increase their, “number,” but is the pain that is similar to, Oh, maybe I shouldn’t have had that medium number 2 from McDonald’s last night, worth the multiple orgasms from the night before?
I’m so angry that I could bang you!
Categories: Jane Says, Nikki CoXXX Says
Tags: ex sex, the other girl
Discuss: There are no comments, add your take.
Nikki CoXXX Says: To Fake Or Not To Fake.
When I was younger, I was blessed with the privilege of being a Girl Scout. (Insert sarcasm here). Not only was I required to sell millions of boxes of cookies, but the experience was intended to “brainwash” young girls, so we could blossom into respectable and honest women. However, it’s a pretty hypercritical situation to be placed into at a young age, because sadly enough, if you have a vagina, society expects you to be prim and proper, and to never express how you truly feel if there is a chance of being, “out of line.” But you know what, if a guy isn’t hitting my sweet spot, he’s not getting the credit he doesn’t deserve.
So, was it good for you?
Categories: Jane Says, Nikki CoXXX Says
Tags: faking orgasms
Discuss: There are no comments, add your take.
Nikki CoXXX Says: The Thrill Of The Chase. (Dealing With Hemorrhoids Sounds Like More Fun).
As 24 continues to creep up on me, I can’t help but to sometimes reminisce about my younger years. You know, those years that we thought we had it so bad… those years before we knew what trials and tribulations the world had in store for us. For example, in grade school, when a boy had a crush, he would poke his “Darla” with a stick, or tease the poor girl until she cried. As foolish and harsh as that method was back then, it now seems a lot less painless than what a 23 year old single woman has to deal with.
Keep reading →
Payback is a bitch…
Categories: Jane Says, Nikki CoXXX Says
Tags: Darla, ex-boyfriends, games, rejection, rekindled romances
Discuss: There are no comments, add your take.
Connect with Jane
Faceted sensualist, sex positive educator & toy connoisseur, specializing in workshops, outreach & deviant behavior.