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Posted on Nov 01, 2010 by — Nikki CoXXX Says, Pervertable — 1 comment

Nikki CoXXX Says: Inanimate Objects That You SHOULD Be Putting By/In Your Vagina: Part I

It amazes me that so many women are still afraid to masturbate because they think it’s, “dirty” and/or “unladylike.”  In most cases, these are the girls that use the, “Getting Drunk,” excuse so it’s, “socially acceptable,” for guys to grope them in public.  Well, bar sluts and tight asses alike… loosen up, because if you don’t learn about what your pussy likes, no man will ever be able to crack the code.  Before you have a panic attack, you don’t even have to use a dildo, vibrator or some crazy sex toy that should come with a 100+ page instruction manual. The key to a, “Floating On Cloud 9,” orgasm can be reached with every day house hold items that do in fact serve a better purpose than what they were originally invented for.

The OctoPUSSY of all orgasms… get it? it looks like an octopus, and octopus’ live in the ocean… oh, forget it…

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Posted on Oct 25, 2010 by — Pervertable — Comments Off

Pervertable: Chocolate Syrup

Before you spread out the rubber sheet, and take a bath in syrup then have to worry about upsetting The Ecosystem… I want you to use the chocolate as a teaching tool.  Then, after you’ve trained your partner, you can use it to play hide and seek.

How does one use chocolate to “train” someone in bed, and then play hide and seek if you never leave the bed?  Allow me to explain myself!

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Posted on Aug 18, 2010 by — Pervertable — 2 comments

Pervertable: 5 Uses for Stockings

You can cut them, use them as they are when they come off your legs, or straight out of the package.  Stocking have MANY household uses as well – but just as any every day item, they can be perverted!

1.  Place your hands in the stockings down to the toes, and run them over your partner’s body for a softer touch if your hands are very calloused or just want a new sensation.

2.  Use the stocking to apply any of those dusty yummy powders, or use them as a makeshift paintbrush if you don’t want to get your fingers dirty.  To me, that’s half the point though!

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Posted on Jul 12, 2010 by — Pervertable — Comments Off

Pervertable: 10 Sexy Tips for Ice

As one of the top five pervertables, Ice is a classic… and very weather appropriate right now.  But what to do with it after you’ve snuck it into the room via a little bowl or a glass of chilly ice water?

1.  You can apply the ice directly to erogenous zones, for people who love intense sex, ice is a really simple tool for you.

2.  But most feel ice is way way to cold when applied directly to someone’s hot hot body, instead suck on a cube instead and apply your cold lips to lips, neck, breasts, abs, thighs.

3.  Allow the ice to drip onto the body, the anticipation could drive a person nuts (combine this trick with the proper candle wax and your partner will s q u i r m for you). Hot, cold, hot, cold… throw a feather in the mix, and maybe something slappy like a little paddle, some handcuffs… and you’ve got yourself a great night.

4.  Don’t forget the blindfold.  It helps keep the cold kisses and foreplay a surprise, plus watching you reload your mouth with ice isn’t so cute.  The blindfold with further the “oooo, whats next?!” in your captive’s brain (groin?).

5.  Speaking of groins, when you do finally get there you have two options…

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Posted on Jun 14, 2010 by — Pervertable — 1 comment

Pervertable: Frozen Grapes

If you’re a fan of using ice in bed, but hate the puddles on your sheets and spilling the cup of water off your dresser in the heat of the moment – then frozen grapes are for you.

Ice cubes put directly on the body ends up being too cold for most people anyway; shivering isn’t sexy!  Instead, pick grapes off their vine, wash them thoroughly, and allow them to dry.  Place them in a ziptop bag and into the freezer they go for at least 40 minutes.  Grapes have a lot of water in them, so they’ll freeze solid.

Tease your partner’s body with them, touch their body as if it was an ice cube… seek out the curves of the hips, breasts, thighs before going directly for nipples, clits and cocks.  Put one in your mouth and give oral sex, if you are pleasing them just right they’ll totally ignore the “chipmunk cheek” look you might have goin’ on.

Since they are organic you don’t have to worry about placing them inside of your body either.

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Posted on May 10, 2010 by — Pervertable — Comments Off

Pervertable: Silicone Basting Brush

I’m glad you are really enjoying the Pervertable posts.  Sex toys on a budget are so much fun, plus you get that added amount of satisfaction because you ‘created’ something.  It really does take the slogan Reduce, Reuse, Recycle to a whole new level of  “going green“.  I hope you had fun with the altoids last month, because this month we are giving you the Silicone Basting Brush.

One of my favorites are these silicone basting brushes.  You can get them from many places for as low as $7.

Silicone is a nonporous material which means germs just don’t stick to them.  You can wash the toys and brushes or boil them and they are good as new.  They take forever to break, unless you use them with a silicone lubricant.  Silicone + Silicone = A Melted Mess.

The brushes have a firm slightly rough texture like a tongue which feels nice on their own but if you dip it in luscious water based lubricant and slide it around a woman’s clit… magical things will happen.  Give someone’s nipples a swipe, or balls a stroke, or even slide them around someone’s breasts and between your partners ass cheeks.

The sensation is amazing if you use a lube that tingles, warms or gets cold! Its so slippery and sexy feeling.  I tell you it is better than all of those “tongue like” vibes you can buy in a store.  If you are channeling MacGyver, attach a vibe to it somehow and squirm with that for a while.

Try it with melted chocolate, or any other fun substances you want to apply!

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Posted on Feb 04, 2010 by — How To, Pervertable — Comments Off

What are Pervertables?

Last week I wrote a bit about Waterbation/Shower Sex and used the word “Pervertables” and forgot to define it… and you caught me.  I got a few emails about that so I’m going to clear that up for you all.

A Per-vert-able is any non-sex, household item that you can convert for sex – you “pervert it” thus creating a pervertable.  Got it?

I feel like everyone has done this at one point or another in their lives.  Take the shower head for example, is one of THE BEST pervertables ever.  Here are a few Bondage on a Budget tips, plus some other goodies I’ve been told over the years.

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