I’ve had a few moments in the last year that “made me so happy I could wag”.  Few of my friends tried to quit smoking, and a couple of them succeeded. There have been promotions, job changes, conventions, engagements… but I (happily) digress.

OK- Mind you, I don’t consider myself a furry or an anthro-puppy, nor am I into the fetishized puppy or pony (etc animal) play.  For me, sometimes non-human feelings creep up on me. Ever look at a building and wished you could climb it like a spider? Ever want to get somewhere “as the crow flies”? How about ravish your partner like a beast or seduce them (step out of being shy/docile) as if you were a kitten posing like a predator cat? Pounce a friend you haven’t seen in a while? … Get the drift?

I had another “I’m so happy I could wag” moments and said to myself, next time I have an opportunity to make this happen… I’m going to go for it. Fuck all who thinks it is “weird”. As you can guess, an opportunity arose to own a Crystal Delights creation after I went to Momentum, and one does not pass them up.

I love Crystal Delights’ creations. I have a couple of plugs from them, I’ll always reblog a “butt bling” pic on tumblr, and I’ve always admired the tails. I was asked to review their new bunny tail (the tail is now held on with a strong magnet for easy cleaning, storage, and insertion) but, knowing me… I wouldn’t be able to do the review justice. I know I secretly wag, so I asked if I could swap up the product and to my surprise, it was ok with them!

Warning: This gets a little long winded, but I had a rad time with a tail! SEE?!

The tail came with a care guide, which is a great idea. I know how to take care of glass, silicone, leather, and a myriad of other sex toy do-dads; but fur? Fur is a new one for me. I read through them, put them in a safe place, and then stroked the tail and giggled for a little while. I wasn’t “feeling” it yet, I was very excited, but it just wasn’t time. Few days went by and I finally felt “playful”, like a play tackle, roll around in the grass playful.

The new minx tails come with a little clasp that attach it to the plug, so I un-did the clasp eased the plug in (used Sliquid H2O to help). The glass in my opinion is lighter than the metal plugs I have; the stem of the plug made it fit just right for me- Crystal Delights really have their shapes down.

Left to Right: Med. Metal Butt Bling Opal Crystal, Crystal Delight's Minx Glass Plug for the xl silver fox tail, Sm Metal Plug with Flat base instead of round with red jewel = shown for size reference in my hand.,

I love glass and metal for their smoothness (I’m not in love with how some toy materials ‘drag’), and I LOVE their weight. I like how glass is cold but heat up to body temperature so well; they feel molten warm when you’re done with them. Glass is an experience I think everyone should feel… if you don’t like it, more for me. But try it… you’ll feel like you’re spoiling yourself… every day… well, however often you use glass and other higher quality toys.

Then I played the “get the tail attached to the plug” game, stupid me tried doing it blind a couple of times but gave up quickly and instead sat with the plug for a few minutes getting used to it. The hook and clasp are small, made me worry a little about how delicate it seemed. When my body relaxed, I took it out, attached the tail and reinserted. Wiping up with a baby wipe/paper towel to not get any lube on the tail… and tada! I HAD A FREAKN’ TAIL!

Putting out of my mind that a tail is technically supposed to go at the end of my “tail bone” and this was a bit lower, I told myself “um… shut up… YOU HAVE A TAIL, it doesn’t need to be perfect” … then checked it out in the mirror. My honest reaction?

I HAVE A FREAKIN’ TAIL!

I HAVE… A FREAKIN’ TAIL!!!!

::wiggle:: no! I FREAKIN’ WAGGED!!!!!

::jaw drop…wag again::

This went on for, uh, 10 minutes… ::cough:: anyway…

I’ve had eerie “I wish I could shape shift” walks at night. I’m more than read up on werewolf lore. This is cool, having a tail was cool. After taking a few pics, I did the next logical thing.

Broke out my list of “Things to do if I Ever had a Tail”… don’t pretend like you don’t have one too.

I crawled, stalked my dog (who, wasn’t amused, what a dick), cut a hole in my pants and went roller blading, I suppressed the urge to pounce strangers on a walk, and laughed at peoples’ reactions as I walked past. I tried sitting, jumping, rolling around pretend play fighting with a pillow… which dislodged the plug (and the tail broke off) after a few rolls and a good laugh. Darn.

I broke it, I was legit sad. But it was an easy fix! I plan on soldering the tiny metal rings closed to make the plug Jane proof. They’re just little jewelry clasps, which are very easily repaired, replaced or redone. I might try and find a small key ring/clasp instead. But for now, I fixed it, and it is fine.

Let’s see… I WAGGED, I’ve done A LOT of wagging. I talked on the phone laying on my tummy, I felt the tail against my bare legs as I did clean the house and laze around stuff.

After each tail day, I take out the plug carefully, not touching or pulling on the tail for any help getting it out, do not do that. Unclasped the tail and made sure it was clean, taken care of, and hung. And then I’d wash the glass plug as you’d wash any other glass toy. A good soap, some water, 10% bleach spray and a rinse… then into the toy/dish rack to allow it to dry.

Other than the clasp and no one to pounce, I have a great time with my xl silver fox tail, I cannot express my thanks enough to Crystal Delights for allowing me to review one! Needless to say, I highly recommend all of their products, especially the minx tails and plugs to anyone curious enough to give it a go – or feel the need to add an amazing tail to their fursona costume!

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The speaker’s name is Brian Gross and he is often pigeon-holed as The Porn Publicist. He has worked with Def American Recordings and Warner Brothers Records before he took “the plunge into adult” with Vivid’s Steven Hersh (politely name dropping clients such as Lars Ulrich and Gene Simmons to James Deen, Jenna Haze and Sasha Grey).

He said many things concerning the love/hate relationship between the adult industry and media (radio, tv, internet and print) while weaving on and off topic shared his facts and views through client relationships on how the media loves to use sexuality to sell publications/bring ratings – but at what cost? Of course this sparked a few questions to which I hoped Brian would have the time for an interview – and he did!

After a few txts on where and when, we decided on a late night chat over a drink (he Jameson, I Jack- of course) and this is how it went down. Forgive me for getting link happy, we zipped past some names because we know the industry’s characters so I linked for those of you who don’t know who we’re talking about.

Jane Blow: We know media won’t paint an accurate picture for the adult film industry – but for the select sex educators it welcomes (Laura Berman on Oprah for example)- Who have you found to be the most “oh no way, not at all” on a higher level but on a lower level sneak you in the back? As we know that larger companies own smaller ones we may not be familiar with.

Brian Gross: I don’t have much of this specific experience and I’ll tell you why. Producers don’t have that much time to be that all ‘over the place’ for lack of a better term. An example- the producer from Entertainment Tonight will say “I want to do a story on this actor or this actress, can we make it happen?” It’s a yes or no. Same with ABC Nightline. When specific television programs with an interest in sexuality say “We want to do this…” it opens up the negotiation. There are certain topics certainly that are a little more taboo which are harder to get an outlet to promote unless they’re broken through the news. Then they become a news story. It’s really difficult because there is a differentiation between what is a breaking news story and what we are trying to plan as a topic of conversation, as an editorial.

Every major television outlet, whether is cable news or ABC, NBC etc they’ve all covered some kind of sexuality in some way. So, if it fits, and it works, and its news worthy, then they’ll do something.

JB: Speaking of Niteline since it’s one of the recent things I know about because of the James Deen interview- Did Nightline contact you or your people because of this Tumblr phenomenon or how exactly did that happen?

BG: No, AVN Adult Entertainment Expo is one of my clients and Nightline wanted to cover it last year. They were interested and shooting B Roll. Their topics were going to involve…well, they wanted to talk to talent, discuss romance in adult film and they wanted to talk about agencies. So we worked with them and tried to give them what they wanted, to the best of the ability from people who wanted to talk to them. The Deen piece came quickly, because he was interested and they were interested in him. So much of this stuff (as much as pitching to Nightline goes and this and that) they already have in their mind what they want… I get a call or email “We want to do this” and if we can make it happen, it does. I’ve done stuff with them and Adam and Eve (est. 1969, Phil Harvey), Penthouse, and different companies they were interested in over the years.

JB: What percentage of women in the adult industry seek a publicist as opposed to taking their own path through social media? Why specifically then do they use a publicist? Do any of the men seek it out? It seems no one wants to talk to the men -I mean, Ron does his own thing, Deen is approachable- but you don’t hear about the men in the media unless they do something heinous unless they kill another star or they break up with their girlfriend.

BG: As More get women in the industry, less seek out a publicist. The ones who do seek out a publicist- its more about a career for them and they’re using this as a stepping stone. The ones who want to make their name a brand, and understand brand recognition.

JB: So they’d talk to, say, Doc to get their own line, or more because they want to go mainstream? 

BG: They’re going mainstream. But increasing their brand awareness and a realizing that a publicist will help them gain more notoriety and exposure as opposed to doing it on their own.  As far as guys are concerned, I compare guys to models in fashion industry-they’re like hangers. They’re used for a reason. They need to get a job done and very few can so they’re not useable.

JB: Oh absolutely, and they’re approached all the time by civilians “How do I get your job man?” I’ve heard it and laughed to myself. No one seems to have the staying power of Tommy Gun, Randy Spears, Evan Stone to name a few. I joke and say if you want to be a female in porno, its a right of passage  to fuck Evan, it’s inescapable.

BG: They need to fill a need- a lot of guys think they can but they can’t… so what happens is… you go back to the old stalwarts that are able to accomplish whats needed in a scene and theres only so many who can do it.

As far as seeking a publicist Media attention: a girl can create a website get media attention, get people to their website and make money. For the most part a male porn star can’t. Their branding isn’t as viable as a female. That’s just the world we live in. So, James Deen works 364 days a year <JB: yea he’s got a lot of hustle> he’s focused on performing… and performing and performing. Certainly for a guy he’ll get a small percentage for a toy line, and we’re obviously talking about straight guys. Guys can get a website and make money.

JB: James is a little bit of a phenomenon, the only other porn star that I know who is remotely like him is maybe Jack Lawerence (not counting Ron, hes like the Gene Simmons of porno) because of the cop thing he has going on, and the cars he builds.

BG: Well, there’s also Dale Debone, Evan Stone breaking into it too… not counting the obvious, the one I love and admire, who is such a great guy who I enjoy being around, I play basketball with him… is Manuel… he’s passionate and European, it’s a different mentality, and it comes across.

(In the session I sat in on, Brian Gross mentioned a program he worked on for VH1 which ran 70 weeks straight, but didn’t mention what it was – or I missed it tweeting something else he said.) 

JB: Which program ran on VH1 for all those weeks?

BG: The Porn Stars & Rock Stars special about how they’re alike and always seem to go together. It was an hour special about correlation between rock stars and porn stars, 12 years ago. It was a cool, fun piece to do. It fit with the times. It was a cool story in Rolling Stone Magazine. We had Vivid girls in music videos- we did an Everclear video. At the moment it was a hot topic.

JB: I hear thats what Jenna Haze is doing now.

BG: I was just with her last week, she is best friends with Taylor Momsen we went to see the band… they’re cool girls who happened to be best friends; people tend to make a big deal… one just happens to front a rock band the other is a very famous porn star.

JB: People forget famous people are people too; but we just happen to see them naked all the time.

BG: (laughing) Well I don’t see taylor munson naked, but Jenna yes.

JB: (laughing) Funny funny. But really, people have a personal connection to them because we see them naked… On a much smaller scale, I just blog info and people feel they know me, but they don’t.

BG: It happens a lot, yea it’s all perception vs reality.

JB: I feel many adult stars have done cross over into mainstream media- Jenna Haze, Ron Jeremy, Riley Steel did Piranha - but nothing like Sasha Grey. Sasha going into mainstream- it was kind of like how Jenna Jameson started her empire. Her daddy said if “you should do something you should do it the best”, I feel no one has built an empire since. She started the branding movement- a lot of people feel porn stars are being objectified etc- but women joining the industry now are doing it on purpose. Not like when Nina or Vanessa, or anyone before Jenna started. It is a new age of porn star. I feel like Sasha is working on the model of How to Cross Over, like Jenna completed the model of How to Brand. Please tell me how riding the Sasha wave was?

BG: I think Sasha like Jenna are very unique, I can speak on both in different ways. Sasha came with determination, she came with- I’m going to make adult films, very intense films, start my own production company, I’m going to go main stream, I’m going to do things that no one has ever done in porno. And no one is going to get in my way- and she did. She brought the right people on board to help her, and she worked hard. Period. There was no laziness, no nonsense, it was “This is what we’re going to do” and we did it.

Another Jenna Jameson will never happen again in all likelihood. Jenna was the girl next door, the chosen one, with incredible people around her, she married an incredibly smart man in Jack who knew he could make the Jenna Jameson property and make it big. And obviously thing biggest thing she ever did was sell, not only herself and her company (Club Jenna) but to Playboy which will never be done again, it was huge. So she has a very strong team around her, and they did amazing things… best selling book, was on the NYTimes seller list, Club Jenna, and all the mainstream stuff she did. So… she was an anomaly to everything else because she came at a time where there were 100s of girls not 1000s, and she was a big deal. Obviously beautiful, attractive, had incredible sex on film- but more importantly she had the power of Vivid, Wicked, and people around her that realized the power of potential of what they could do.

JB: This goes without saying, but this was obviously when the porn industry had a lot of money and the ability to make a lot of money. It was certainly one of the hay-days.

BG: There still is a lot of money being made in the porn industry it’s just different.

 —–

We then spoke a minute about how the industry is changing and my personal experience witnessing it first hand, and that the smart retailers will make adjustments or close. We did a final cheers and ended the night with thank yous and a hug. Despite the flirty nature of the conference we were ‘perfect gentleman’. He went to finish up watching Basketball, and I was headed to the bar to continue the Momentum experience.

I really enjoyed the inside peek from a point of view that you don’t get to talk to often- but you see all their hard work, hussel (and sometimes luck) come to be on our TV screens and on the radio. Thanks again Brian for the interview (and the drink!) …Till next time!

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After I got my bearings (got there a little late), I had a good time. I caught most of the Opening Keynote with Dr. Charlie Glickman, Dr. Logan Levkoff, Audacia Ray, Bill Taverner and Dr. Carol Queen as moderator. Snaps, claps, moans and giggles erupted from the room as they pulled at our emotions and aroused our hot buttons with the power of what they were doing in the world. The pannel’s goal was to discuss the role of sexuality in today’s culture, how they make waves that help change perceptions and kick off the weekend on a “you can be a part of the change” message… and that they accomplished.

In the series of Momentum posts, I’ll discuss my thoughts and feelings about each of the sessions I sat in on. I promise I will try not to get link happy but I know many of my readers aren’t as “in it” as I am and other of my sexuality blogger “friends and coworkers” reading this are. There is an interview coming up with Brian Gross where I do go link happy but that’s what happens when two people who know what they’re talking about start only using first names of who they’re talking about.

Education was on the forefront of buzzwords said at Momentum. Educating ourselves, peers, adults, other teachers, doctors, children… everyone. To stop the ignorance, sadness and hate – educate!

And that is the point of conferences of Momentum… to open up the dialog, have the conversation, spur a movement and get the message out to people who don’t know.

I can say (aside from lumpy pillows) my only negative thought about the convention was, Not Enough “Civilians” attended. Everywhere I looked there were people like myself- wave makers, trailblazers, sex positive educators, bloggers, out in the world being themselves and helping others through their writing, workshops and outreach. Much like music fans see their favorite bands in concert and musicians get together to jam… Momentum was very much a bunch of sex geeks… jamming together (thank you Reid for this analogy). Sure, that helps us feel not alone and helps us educate you… but it was quite a love fest for the most part.

Which, was, AMAZING. Don’t get me wrong here! It gets a little lonely on this (Staten) Island. I LOVED being able to jam with fellow sex geeks, toy connoisseurs, trailblazers and all around awesome people. I am very glad Momentum has an ebook which YOU can buy to read the presentations and etc from many of the great minds who were presenting at the conference. I always bring a friend to cons whether they’re for porn stars or sexuality edu, but this time I couldn’t get anyone to come with me. From the start I knew what I would get out of the conference but it would be nothing in comparison to what a “civilian” would get out of it.

The closing keynote entitled Sex in America: Changing the Conversation Beyond Smut and Sanctimony was a powerful one. I could NOT take notes or tweet quick enough. The panelists Dr. Joycelyn Elders, Esther Perel and Lara Riscol blew my fucking mind. Blew my fucking mind, and if you know me, NOT EASY TO DO. I walked out of Momentum slack jawed wondering how to go home from this experience. But under my shock was 1000 squirrels on speed not knowing where to start or who would appreciate all the info I had needing to bust out of me. I had notes, upon notes, tweets, and even disjointed txt messages to friends to sort through.

I gave Momentum a wave goodbye, and hugged anyone on my way down to the car who I met. I was waiting for the elevator when Dr. Carol Queen stood next to me to wait too, and I just stood there. It was like an obsessed music fan standing next to their rock god idol.

Shifting nervously, still stupified by the  thoughts of having to leave Momentum, getting into the elevator, it was just us. I thanked her for being a pioneer allowing me to walk the paths in the grass and make my own. She thanked me for helping the movement and said to never give up. We had another floor to go… and all I could think of to say was (I mean… what do you say?) “Well, so long and thanks for the fish”. She, to my surprise, bursted out laughing and hugged me and we had a geek moment over the Douglas Adams quote and march birthdays. By far, this moment, is high on my list of “most amazing things EVER”. What a way to end a con.

Thank you Momentum and everyone involved, from the bottom of my heart. It was a wonderful weekend that I’ll be continuing to ride the waves of.

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Queening is an exaggerated version of face sitting. Face sitting, is exactly how it sounds.  Oral sex as someone “sits on your face”.  Queening is usually used as a BDSM term.  It is a mix of face sitting + ass worshiping + a dominant woman making you service/lick/adore/get smothered in her vagina/ass.

There are pieces of furniture specifically built for queening, more often they are simply called thrones or smother boxes.  Smothering is taking Queening a step further, but they often hold hands as sexual practices.

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I learned this term while watching The League (please see clip below) with a friend.

~xoxo~

Editors Note: The female equivalent is Eskimo Sister.

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The crazy horny, no one is safe, must fuck, Lust a woman feels a couple days before her period starts.

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While there is no definition on the interwebs, I offer you the definition as was explained to me.

Dick Daze: The state of mind a woman is in after having amazing, mind blowing, orgasmic sex with a man. Often times this will lead a woman to believe her emotional attachment to this male and/or the situation they are both involved in to be far grater than anything she had intended or anticipated.

Careful, if you have this power, and don’t know how to use it, you could drive a girl certifiably crazy!

Thanks to Dave for this wonderful nugget!

~xoxo~

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For those of you who don’t know, when male ejaculate touches water, it turns into glue.  Therefore if you jerk off in the shower, and it hits the tile or side of the tub instead of being washed away… it’ll congeal and create… a Shower Slug.

Special thanks to a new friend for this one.  I knew about the water + come = glue, I didn’t know there was a nifty term for it!

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If I had a dollar every time someone told me to “put my cock away” or said “oh, Jane has her cock out today”… I’d have a sizable collection of paid for VixenCreations cocks and accessories.

This is my friends’ affectionate way of commenting on my actions, obliviousness (sorry I didn’t notice your new glasses), sex drive or thought patterns. I don’t own any packers, and I can count the “cock shaped” toys I own on one hand (with fingers left over). I’ve always been “one of the guys”, and I’ve always been comfortable having more guy friends than female.  My mother worried and proclaimed often “you were born a girl, I’m going to raise a girl”.

Am I? Yes.

Do I own a strap-on? Yes. Do I wear/use it regularly? Unfortunately, No. Do I have penis envy? Yep, you bet your ass I do.

Multiple orgasms, the ability to birth life, being receptive, needing to ride the wave of emotions, talking out my problems to work them out, writing style, and nurturing aside… my outward “femaleness” is easily identifiable. I wear low cut shirts, pants that hug my ass, I have 38D breasts, and my long brown hair has never left my shoulders after 27 years of hair cuts. I’ll indulge in a mani/pedicure now and then, and I’ve even been known to slap on a dress, heels and make-up when I’m feeling like it.

Am I girly? You decide.

You’ve heard the filth pour out of my mouth (here, twitter etc), I listen to metal and just can’t get into chick/folk music.  I drink Jack Daniels, but don’t dislike a bottle of wine. I’m a Pisces, my favorite color has always been blue. My friends know my head is the first to follow a nice ass that passes. Surely not a “lady like” thing to do, whether I saw them coming or when I get elbowed back to reality. I’ll compliment a burp, but can’t stand toilet humor.  I love to eat with my hands and get dirty. I can separate sex from love; is that more a male “thing” or is a person “thing”?

I’ll fuss like a bitch if my shoes hurt my feet, but enjoy every layer of glam needed to dress up for a wedding  (but it is because I love taking each layer off to have raunchy dirty sex later).  I’m far more comfortable in jeans, graphic T, and pair of shell tops.

I’m fine in my body, I don’t want gender reassignment surgery or to take hormones… but I’d love to wake up with a cock one day.  I want to feel what a penetrater does.  Yes, I’m fully aware there are devices for vaginas that can help one pee standing, and I can penetrate someone with my tongue, fingers etc.  But it just isn’t the same, and you can’t tell me differently.  There are amazing advancements as far as toys go, as strap-ons go, but I’ll never feel a vag wrap around “my cock”.

Am I butch? I never considered it till those same friends who tell me to put my cock away made reference to the “dad” role I’ve found myself filling.

I thought it was ‘mothering’, but after examining the hat I wear, I’ve found it isn’t a bonnet.  As apparently female as I am, I am protective and nurturing, I make people feel safe when they’re with me — but I’m going to let them make their own mistakes and decisions. I’m not going to stop them from jumping out of a plane. I’ll likely be the first with a lesson plan to make an informed decision, and be next to jump.  I take a back seat to trial and error, and I refuse to hover and wipe their noses; those are things the “mom” of the group tends to do.  Mom’s fret and say “no”. I’m holding the back seat of your new two-wheeler ready to pick you up to try again.

I am fiercely protective of my partners and I expect them to feel/do the same for me. If I love you, I’ll take the bullet. I am selfless to a fault.

My friends notice a drastic change when “I have a vagina”. It catches them off guard, and they don’t know what to do when I’m vulnerable.  I need so little, that when they have to give it is almost awkward at first – so I’ve been told.

Deceivingly to myself, I’m a “dude” in the relationship but not “the guy”.  It stems from my independence (which I’ve learned from my mother’s mistakes), and has rocked a relationship or two. They never felt I “needed” them.  At the end of the day, I want to know I can depend on them if I was stuck, not put all my eggs in one basket and hope they can carry us both/vice versa.  I like to co-exist with my partner and not fill traditional gender roles. I can be the bread winner as easily as I can cook dinner every evening for someone who reciprocates and appreciates me; I like it.

At a “ladies night” sleep over this year I was asked, “if you could only have sex with one gender, which would it be?” I asked if I could actually answer that question being pansexual/queer… your person comes first… then your assigned genitals. They didn’t quite get it, and wanted me to rely on Male or Female. I didn’t answer.  I can’t answer.  Admittingly though, it freaks me out to date women, they’re so complex… and I’m simple.  Love me, protect me, be honest, be my partner… and fuck me silly on the regular… and I’ll do the same.  They shook their heads and said I wasn’t that simple. I shruged. Who am I to know myself? Check THAT paradox.

If I could be honest, and not politically correct, I often feel like my nipples pick up the world’s signals funny.  I’m “such a dude” yet, relish in being in a female body (penis envy aside).  There is such concentration on roles and labels, it drives me crazy to even fathom the long string of things I identify with.

With the economy the way it is, there are women who are working and “their man” is home tending house.  Are they depressed and let down that they aren’t “being the man”? Sure, I feel bad when anyone’s ego is damaged. Do I wish they would look around to see what they have and just do the reversed role with pride as “we women” have been expected to do for… oh… ever? Yes.  What makes “your role” any more special “than mine” traditionally.  We’re supposed to work together.

So, I don’t live with labels and titles.  If I need to describe what I’m feeling, I’ll use words like “submissive, kinky, aggressive…etc”.  When you tell me who you are and what you identify with, I’ll respect you and treat you as the human being you are.  They’re just words, semantics, WE give them the power.

Cunt and Slut… are the last two shamed words to be “reclaimed” and spun positive. But there is also a battle between what is Female and what is Male and what makes a Male, Male etc.  I find it fascinating, and that is where my participation stops. I become a sociologist/anthropologist when it comes to gender because I dislike trying to be so fucking politically correct all the time.  There are too many people, with their own feelings and chosen semantics to keep up with, sorry if I’ve accidentally offended you, I can assure you it wasn’t out of malice.

Last I checked we are all human, what’s it matter what we are/choose to identify with after that? Are you happy? No? Change. Happy now? Yes? Awesome!  Nice shoes… wanna fuck? No? Cool. Let’s go catch a movie.

I’ve used gender neutral pronouns, I’ve respected the “gender apparent” rules of greeting someone, I’ve used any terms and try to be as “correct” as possible with any official identifying terms. If I say something wrong, I appreciate being corrected… there are many colors in the spectrum and I respect every single one of them. My innate curiosity for sexuality and education helps me walk freely through the rainbow.

Living gender… I’m a strong, sex-positive, educated, kinky, queer, feminist female, with what I estimate, a 22 year old dude trapped inside who keeps jizzing in her eye and keeping her from being a “lady” or politically correct most days.

I’m a faceted sensualist at best, or as another friend described me, a corner in a round room. I don’t fit in a box, refuse to be caged…I’m unique, just like everyone else. I don’t mind all this either.  If you do, don’t talk to me; there, problem solved.

I usually decide that my signals and nipples are just fine, your reception needs to be focused better.

Can you list all of the things YOU identify as? (Ex: Male, female, daughter, teacher, care giver, kinkster, gay, monogamous etc…)

This post was written for The Gender Celebration Carnival started by the lovely Ellie Lumpesse.  Check out her blog and those who have chosen to participate in the carnival.

July 5th – Ellie Lumpesse – http://www.lumpesse.com

July 7th – Dangerous Lilly - http://www.dangerouslilly.com

July 9th – Curvaceous Dee - http://curvaceousdee.com

July 11th - Eusi Mto’s Toy Box - http://eusimto.com

July 13th – Sexpert Jane Blow - http://www.sexpertjaneblow.com

July 15th – Sugarbutch Chronicles - http://www.sugarbutch.net

July 17th - Neamhspleachas – http://www.neamhspleachas.com

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Matutorthosis – a morning erection, usually because of a full bladder. Derived from Latin matutinus (of the morning early in the morning), Greek orthos (straight, right, true), and Greek –osis (action, process, condition).

Via: #CSPHwordoftheday http://ow.ly/5mMZk

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Here is the tweet that inspired my research…

“RT @CandyAppleAlly @Vukizzle a kapto-wha? — basically it means I like to fuck in front of mirrors :)”

Source: www.twitter.com/vukizzle

After a little work on the internet here is the www.wikipedia.org definition:

Katoptronophilia is a paraphilia for mirrors (the Greek word for mirror is katoptron). It may include activities such as having sex in front of mirrors, masturbating in front of mirrors, enacting other paraphilias in front of a mirror, having an orgy in front of a mirror, or enacting stripping fetishism in front of mirrors.

Enacting katoptronophiliac fantasies may involve constructing environments for erotic activity in which one is completely surrounded by mirrors, sometimes including even on the ceiling. A person who is a katoptronophiliac may put mirrors all over their house so they can have sex in any room in the house.

Source: www.wikipedia.org/wiki/katoptronopilia

“A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs it on her bathroom door. One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says “Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bustline forty four”.

Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her breasts grow to enormous proportions. Excitedly, she runs to tell her husband what happened, and in minutes they both return.

This time the husband crosses his fingers and says “Mirror mirror on the door, make my penis touch the floor!”.

Again, there’s a bright flash… and then his legs fall off!”

~xoxo~

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Imagine, 3k Furries in one spot? And ONLY 3k Furrs... there are far more who couldn't make the convention. The likelihood of one of your friends being a furr and isn't telling you, is possible! :D

During Geek Conventions like ComicCon, there are people decked out in costumes, CosPlay, and have various reasons to go to the Con.  They’re life long fans looking to talk to famous writers and artists, they’re looking for new swag and gear, they want to meet with friends they only talk to online and at conventions. And of course, the hook-ups and sexin.  They get to be themselves and not have to worry about the outside world for a few days.

FurRCons are the same way.  The convention itself is innocent, interesting, and encompasses the entire Furr community.  There are writers, artists, fans, games, seminars and tons of costumed people totally in their Fursona.

There is a lot of cuddling and petting, coy head tilts and excited SHINEY moments.  Of course there are people who go so they can hook up and have sex.  Whether it is common knowledge or not, there is always a room for sex (not to be confused with an orgy or Furpile as outside media has called it).  The people range from the sickenly kyoot to the overtly sexual… just like any other convention or gathering of people.

For many, the sexual aspect of being a furr isn’t important, it is more about belonging to a clan or pack and being able to embrace their fursona or totem animal.  Animals nuzzle often and “stuff” rarely happens – think about all your friends who have multiple pets.  They don’t just hump… they play, cuddle, yip, play fight, wrestle, figure out who “top dog” is… they nap, eat, and relax.

In the conduct rules, a costume must be a costume able to be in a vanilla civilian public space… no nudity, and “atomically correct” costumes need to be covered properly.  If one needs to touch up body paint there is usually a costuming/creative room to help one’s needs with that.

Furthermore, everything is sold at the market place from body paint, pouches, clothing, costumes and pieces, fan art, comics, books, and yes, even the items more sexual in nature.

Me being me, I’ve of coursed researched such toys.  Stay tuned for my Bad Dragon review.  Since I’ve never been to a FurrCon, I am waiting on confirmation from a few Furrfriends on what “sexual in nature” actually encompasses. I’m not saying that Bad Dragon is sold at cons – but they do cater to the fantasy sex/toying individuals. And they did allow me to review one of their interesting toys!

This post is part of a series, use Furry in the search bar or look at the related posts to find more.

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My girlfriend wants a pony–me! However, we can’t seem to find any places online that is a good store for pony play gear. Do you have any suggestions?

There are a few places I can send you to that I know of and some tips on how to get the effects and stick to a budget.  Unfortunately _______ play fetishists need deep pockets depending on how real they want to get.  Doesn’t matter which, but the bigger the animal and the more real you want to get, the more money it is going to cost.

BUT the gear is beautiful, and crafted well, and really helps you both get into the head space required to have a good time with it.  You’ll feel more proud as a pony in good gear too.

I’m not a pony player, but I did a pony girl photo set once (and I’m a gear slut – the more, the better) and there was SO MUCH gear involved. I had a really great time! /memories.

You can go straight to equestrian shops, amazon and dollar stores such for brushes, mats, riding crops, buckets and such.  You can also go to Home Depot for hemp rope to make leads, and I like to scout out thrift stores and the salvation army for gloves, vests and especially leather belts. They make great make-shift bonds, leads, lashes, thigh and chest harnesses, and with a little know how you can make your own hobble belt.

For the human items like tails, saddles, blinders, bit gags and even pony play shoes, you’ll have to go to fetish/bdsm shops such as Sub-Shop.com.  This is one of 3 favorite shops because they ALWAYS have a sale. This site’s newsletter is one I drool over some days. There is always Stockroom.com, and here is another fun site BondageFetishStore.

If you want to take it further and add anatomically correct body parts for toy play, you can try Bad Dragon.com.

Hope I helped!

Although not exactly Furry related or BDSM related, it could be helpful to others looking to complete their fursuits. This is just kink/fetish. For other Furry related posts, use Furry in the search bar.

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Some of the terms are just sounds they make because they aren’t fully human or human at all. Others are converted human words so they’re more fun for the furries.  Some are definitions of things they do. I’ve heard/found many terms that pertain to conventions and online communities; I wont include these because they’re mostly acronyms that pertain to any online community. Ex) Flame: To belittle, harass, insult, or mock another user or concept. A flame is distinctive in that it is not intended to create constructive discussion.

Although the online terms are important to the furry community because that is where 90% of their social interaction takes place, most of them are known to any online user over the age of 15.

Kemonomimi: Is an anime and manga terminology that describes characters that possess animal like features. The characters will be predominately human and any real animal characteristics are minimal

Yerfday/Whelpday: Birthday.

Scritch: The act of gently scratching someone’s back, neck or between the ears in an affectionate manner using one’s fingernails (or more lightly with fingertips), or the claws. Commonly used to show affection, but not to be done in general to strangers.

Fursuit: The costume; which can be basic ears and a tail, but is usually referring to the full mascot costumes.

Shiney!: Any object that reflects light technically. Species such as raccoons and ferrets like to collect them. But usually refers to anything that a furry wants/likes. Ex. They see a cool set of pouches to add to a costume, or they see someone they like … they’ll exclaim SHINEY!

Kyoot: Cute. Sickingly, omg, annoying cute.

Yiff: The act of having sex, either in real life, or on-line in a role-play context.

Zaftig: A fat furry.

Free Paws: The act of not wearing shoes to develop “pads” to better walk on rougher surfaces.  This way, they feel more connected to their environment.

Darkfurr/Gothfur: A gothic furry

Kemono: Furry art that depicts the fur living as a human… eating normal food, wearing clothing, in human situations like a job etc.

Greymuzzle: A furry over a certain age (35+ depending on who you ask) or someone who was a furry before major internet groups were formed (or even before the internet). It is a reference to how your pet’s muzzle turns grey as they get older.

Merf: A sound made to show suprise or annoyance.

Via WikiFur

Via Furry Dictionaries

This post is part of a series, use Furry in the search bar or look at the related posts to find more.

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They aren’t just mammals (or feline for that matter)…although the “Fur” term encompasses them all as an umbrella term  They can be reptilian, avian, aquatic, and mythical aka scalies, featheries, cetaceans, herps and taurs respectively.

There are also hybrids, crossbreeds, and mixes, and the community has their own feelings towards the Sqir-griff-fox-orc-ians (I just made that creature up). The people under the avatars are either looking to be creative or try to give each quirk/animal they identify with a physical characteristic.  Think… Dragoear.  A cross I just made up that is part dragon, part bear. Strong, tough, breathes fire, territorial, can fly but loves to cuddle, sleep and rub on things.  Actually, do you remember the TV show the Wuzzels?; they crossed animals too.

Much of the misunderstanding stems from lack of education and how the subcultures are broken up.  As far as I can tell, these are the major groups of Furries:

1. Fursuiters Those who like to dress up. I’ll equate them to Fasionistas of the BDSM world. There is a big possibility that they don’t even like BDSM, but they like the costumes and materials.  OR They can be very much into the entire scene. They are most often found in the mascot costumes or have the most elaborate make-ups. But still, this is the only time I suppose I can say just because it quacks like a duck, walks like a duck, looks like a duck… it isn’t a duck.
2. Otherkin Those who believe that they aren’t human in spirit. Think “tribe animal” or “totem animal” if it helps you.  They often have dreams and a very deep spiritual connection to a specific animal.
3. Furries Those who like to roleplay, draw, or write stories about furries.  They can have multiple avatars, or just one. This is the largest group I feel.  They go to the conventions and play the mmorpgs, they nuzzle and use a lot of emoticons, ::pounce::, and make animal noises.  When you think “furry” aside from the mascot costumes, these are the people you meet.  In here you can find the classifications of fursonas like avian vs fur and crossbreeds etc.
4. Furverts (Or: Furry Fetishists.) This, in turn, can be divided into many more subcultures, all grouped by specific fetishes, like feet, macros, and other fetishes.  They like specific pieces of the Furridom, not the entire pod.

I’m going to take a stab and say that a few of these furries give the others a bad name, like on CSI. They highly sexualize/pervert the mostly innocent fun of being a furry (I’ll explain this more).  But every radical group has their own enemies, a group called Burned Furs and their spin offs are their right wing adversaries. They were opposed to sexual activity in the community and at conventions. aka No Yiffing.
5. Trans-species Those who physically alter their body to resemble their respective animal’s. There have been only been a few, the most famous I feel is See: Dennis Avner.  He has had multiple surgeries, hours of tattooing, and even put lip piercing implants in to attach whiskers so he can transform himself into his totem animal; a Tiger named Stalking Cat.

This post is part of a series, use Furry in the search bar or look at the related posts to find more.

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A few furries at Furcon

I too long ago received a question on Formspring that simply said “What’s the deal with furries”.  I laughed when thinking 2 things.

1. I was waiting for this question.

2. This is going to take much more than one post for me.  So I’ve made it a series. Forgive me if I get link happy or wordy, but this is a fun adventure.

I met my first Furry in college before I had any clue about the community.  Before I knew what Second Life was or Furcadia (we’re all beginners at some point or another, right?) For me, I was on the BDSM sites, and nsfw Literotica at that point.  Role playing for me stopped in Rhy’din… how’s that for dating myself? “Pets” to me were humans in a slave role… no ears, no tails.  I bumped into one or two, but I’d shrug and move onto the next chat room… it just wasn’t what I was looking for.

Didn’t think it was this thriving? multiplying? hopping community.

She was cute I thought, Jnco jeans, little tops, ears, reddish brown hair in a pony tail and lots of cuddling…well… more of a nuzzle really.  I liked her, a lot. We became fast friends, she told me about Furries, and I told her about BDSM. She determined I was a Squirrel, I insisted I was a Kender and on the friendship went.  Yeah, we were those weirdos, but we loved it.

Anyway… College, especially where I went, was so free to be themselves (aka hippy college) I don’t think it was a big deal for her to “come out” (to me, anyway).  Plus, my curiosity always took over, question after question -

She’d tilt her head to the side while listening, playfully laugh, pet my head, and explain. I never saw it as a negative; it explained a lot about her mannerisms and how she interacted with people, especially after she told me her Fursona.  After that, it was difficult for me to separate the “two of her”.

It all clicked for me. Till I had another question.  When, THAT episode of CSI aired and she hung her head when I turned up at her den with a new slew of questions (the rest of the people who she was their first furry too already bombarded her). I asked what the hell that was all about, and she sorta gave me a sad growl about how that isn’t how ALL furries are. I expected so (I just wanted to know the terms etc), but she felt the blow to her community as I do when another asshole dies from auto-erotic asphyxiation and gives what I’m into a bad name.

I met other furs in college, but not after. Makes me a little sad, I miss that special affection and bond.  ”My” community was looked at as sickos who liked to beat women, and “hers” was thought to be a bunch of bestiality lovers. But college and online, we were free from that.  We were able to be ourselves in public and feel safe.

Fortunately, I’m a xxx clerk, and a public face for xxx… her? Stuck in a cubicle prison and in hiding again.  She isn’t an avian/featherie, but her wings were certainly clipped again. I’d hate to be in that sort of cage.

This series is about what I’ve learned/collected about Furries as a person who “must know it all”, If you have any questions, ask.  I in no way am claiming that I’m an expert or a furry, if you see any mistakes, tell me.

Note: I’m not using words like Den, and Cage to be punny, I’m just helping you step into a different culture. I’ve a “When in Rome” mentality when I look at subcultures, so I use the vernacular.

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If people usually bed down and stick with one person over the winter months… can you guess what this term means?

If you guessed “One Night Stand,” then pat yourself on the back and get out before they wake up!

A Lecher is a man who gives into excessive sexual indulgence / Craft is an art, trade, or skill.

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Coprolalia is the technical term for ‘talking dirty’ and I’m adding ‘during sex’.

For me, fucking a dirty wordsmith, is heaven. Just a few select words can send me to orgasm; and the words echo in my mind until next time.  Just don’t confuse this with involuntary-coprolalia notably found in people who have Tourrettes Syndrome.

Original Fact via @WtfSexFacts

See Also: Your Paraphilia Word Of The Day: Narratophilia via @DarkGracie

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To accomplish The Operator you have to call your partner’s parent with their own phone while you’re having sex with them… then hand over the phone so they talk.  You’re connecting the call, thus making you The Operator.

Please hold while I connect your call — Beware, although this is a dick move, “something a guy would do”… traditionally most operators were women –  Thank you, and have a good day!

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When I ride the Cotton Pony, I’m not always in sexy mood… other times I’m On The Rag I want to fuck all week.  There’s no rhyme or reason to it, but sometimes it is difficult to find a person who wouldn’t mind earning their Red Wings.  Which made me think, what other terms are there? Because Red Wings is just for giving oral sex on a woman who is getting a visit from her Aunt Flo; yet it is used universally to also mean bloody sex.

Mother Nature and sex… what I found was called The Rusty Buckle (ie, the bloody spot above the penis from making contact with a bloody vagina, maybe some splashing is involved).  Well… that didn’t really cut it for me either… that is more of an after affect of fucking a woman during That Time of the Month, just like Red Wings is.

So. I came up with Slaying the Sanguine Dragon.  The Curse gives us gals a bad reputation for being bitchy thus the dragon, and Sanguine means “reddish” and often is used to describe/interchangeable for blood, the slaying part is where I make it manly for you guys.  I mean, c’mon, Rusty Buckle?  We can do better than that, no?  You’ve got a mighty sward sheathed in your pants, be a man, slay the dragon!

Bonus points if you wipe the blood across your chest after she orgasms and call it War Paint.

Use it well and make me proud guys!

PS. Don’t urbandictionary.com Bacon Love, might ruin bacon for you for a little while.  People could be so gross, *cough*.

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