Dear Jane: I’m a Straight Guy Wanting to Experiment with Anal. Is that Wrong? What’s the Best Way?

Dear Jane, <– Ask me a question, any question, and I’ll answer it! You’re totally anonymous, so don’t be shy.


Is it wrong for a straight guy wanting to experiment with anal stimualtion? And what would be the best way to do that?

Let me tell you a little story about one of your favorite Manly Men… Mr. James Bond. Actually, it is more of a statement… you see… despite all the women, Pussy Galore if you will… he was often considered Bisexual. Go ahead and google, I can wait for you to get past all the Daniel Craig stuff.  Sure it is a more Euro idea than an American one, but think about it.

If more men took a 007 standpoint, we wouldn’t be discussing if it was “normal” for you to want to explore your own body.  If James Bond, a famed man’s man can still be a man’s man while enjoying anal stimulation, so can you. There is nothing to be ashamed of. If you do it yourself, you’re exploring. If you do it with a woman, you enjoy the stimulation enough to share it with a partner. If you do it with another man, you might be queer. It depends on YOUR FEELINGS and who you’re attracted to, NOT what is being stimulated and that you enjoy the stimulation.

Common society will say it is “weird” but anyone educated even slightly in sexuality and sexual practices will shrug at you and say enjoy. They’d even tell you, like I’m going to, a few fun tips to get you started.

1. Take a shower, relax and get comfortable.

2. Use a lubed finger or anal safe toy, and rub it around your anus while you’re aroused. Slide your finger around, try swishing it back and forth, try different amounts of pressure and different parts of your finger (the tip vs the pad).

Water based lubricants work fine for this kind of stimulation, silicone is even better, there are even creamy lubes specifically made for anal play. Stay away from house hold products though, the sex industry has come a super long way and there isn’t any reason to keep using crisco or vaseline.

If you like the way a lubed finger feels, you’ll likely enjoy a partner licking you (aka rimming). If you’re curious to go further, and you’re relaxed and happy, keep going.

3. Try slowly inserting a finger or small anal toy. If you feel any pain, add more lube, go slower, and breathe to relax. If you are doing anal stimulation the right way, it’ll never hurt for you (or your partner when it is their turn).

4. Did outter stimulation? Tried plugs and toys? How about anal beads, they provide a completely different sensation.

5. Now curl your finger or nudge the toy upwards like you’re trying to find a G Spot, now you can play with your prostate.

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