Dear Jane: There Was A Lot Of Blood… Is It Normal? - Whether you are 17 or 37, the presence of blood while losing your virginity is normal. So is the instance of no blood.

Dear Jane, <– Ask Me Anything.

This question came from my facebook message email box.  The writer seems to know limited English.  I was going to take liberties with re-wording the question but chose to keep it in it’s raw format.  I answered her in a much simpler fashion and we had a nice conversation about virginity and sex.

on 17th b’day i ve done sex with
my bf only 4 or 5 times he
entered in me he had about
8-9inch
giant
i’ve blooded too much tell me
what i do
i am scared it was my first time
now what i do
please help me

did age also matters
17 vs 25

I’d like to open up a Virgin Panel, I’d love to get more questions from your inquiring minds.  What does it feel like, taste like, what to do, best beginner tips?  Ask away.  In the last few years, I’ve met virgins and porn stars who have the same questions – who can answer one another – and I’d like to bridge the gap. 

Use my formspring.me/sexpertjaneblow account if you want to be anonymous, or email me (sexpertjaneblow@gmail.com).  I’d love to chat with you and answer any questions I can without being so textbook.  I want to get nitty gritty and real.

For the longer version of my answer:

Whether you are 17 or 37, the presence of blood while losing your virginity is normal.  So is the instance of no blood.

It could have been your hymen ripping or your body not used to being penetrated.  You could have been dry, and your partner could have been impatient. 

Foreplay is important, and I feel masturbation plays a role as well.  Your body must warm up to the idea of sex.  Sex is physical, like sports are… you wouldn’t run a marathon without stretching and training first, right?  Preparing for sex should be fun, so don’t take my “training” analogy wrong.  Touch yourself, enjoy yourself, have oral sex, get in there.  Learn yourself, and have your partner do the same.

Sex shouldn’t hurt, and sex should be fun.  It could be uncomfortable if you are nervous.  Your body wont produce lubrication if you are too nervous or aren’t prepared, so to have a nice bottle of lubricant on hand is a good idea to help penetration.  I’d recommend a silicone lubricant because they last longer and you can use less.

Going slow, in the beginning at least, is also a good idea.  Give yourself time to enjoy yourselves.  Why lose your virginity during a 20 minute lunch break?  If you can’t be at home, get a decent hotel room or send your parents to dinner and a movie (it’ll cost about the same depending on where you live).

Position wise, it is easier for the woman to be on top.  She will have more control.  Other positions work out just fine too, but control and lining your bodies up is important.  The one thing porn does right for “doggy style” is make sure the woman’s face is on the floor and her ass is up in the hair with her back sloping drastically down to expose her vulva.  If you want to try doggy, get into this extreme positioning first THEN adjust so you aren’t so extreme.

It is going to be uncomfortable, even foreign feeling, keep going slow till your body adjusts.  If you aren’t masturbating with insertion toys before already, and even if you are LISTEN to your body.  If you hurt, slow down, add more lube, change the angle of penetration or even stop for a minute. 

Don’t allow anyone to pressure you into having sex if you aren’t ready, your first time should be exciting and on your own terms.

That in short, is losing your virginity 101.  Relax, take your time, warm up, position correctly, and have fun.