Hey folks, sorry about the day off yesterday. I had some catching up to do at the porn shop after filming the Ron Jeremy commercials the day before! Check the twitter for pics and comments, I’m putting up the “interview” soon!
Dear Jane,
What are the boundaries for rough sex? If its stated to be open, I like to really give it to my girl; make her gag when giving head, spank, slap, anything I like. I’ve even had girls ask to be choked. How else can I augment my experience (and hers)?
There is a fine line between rough sex and BDSM. If you get hard at the thought of choking your partner (after her consent of course), and watching her face get red, her eyes roll back, and her pussy soak your cock… then try using props. Your ‘rough sex’ fetish might run deeper than you think, plus it could be fun to Master a new tool in the bedroom.
First, make sure you have a safe word. A word that no one would usually scream out in bed – like poodle, or kumquat. The universal safe word is RED; as in STOP IMMEDIATELY. Some scenarios where a person is gagged or tied down require a anon verbal “safe word”. I like to use is a PINCH… or shaking/dropping a small bell in my hand. Anything that is noticeable and out of place works as a signal. With these signals in place, you will know the boundaries quickly. Talking, communicating about hard limits also helps.
I’d pick a partner/fuck buddy who has the routine down, and pick up a spanking toy. Spatula, ping pong paddle, or something made for impact play from a local sex shop or online bdsm shop. Put her over your knee, and set up an old school spanking role play; teacher & student works well. You can also say “you aren’t good enough for my hand, you’re just a whore, now you get THIS”. See how you like using an instrument of torture while spanking, because you already love how her ass gets red for you.
Be careful of SDS (same damn spot). Don’t just spank ONE spot, move around the ass, the top, the sides, the curve underneath… and don’t forget between the thighs. Thigh slaps are wicked, as is a little pussy or breast slapping. Warm up is a good idea too, make sure you aren’t hitting someone full on from the start… start subtly, and build the intensity. A good spanking will make the whole ass radiate.
From there, there are different tools – floggers, crops, quirts; and materials – wood, rubber, pvc, leather.
A collar is another fun thing to introduce into rough sex. It really brings home that the person wearing it, is your fuck toy; your submissive. You can put your finger through the metal loop and drag her anywhere you want. You can pinch the collar to do the breath play a bit safer. Instead of bouncing her head or holding it still to give her the wop-wop treatment – you can use the collar to tug or hold her still. Plus, in my opinion, collars are really sexy around a naked person’s neck.
If props aren’t your thing, then work on your verbal game. Picking the right words and names for your partner can turn them on more than having your hand sexily woven in their hair for a good pulling. If “slut” does nothing for them… try whore, or cunt… dig for that nasty word they can embrace in the moment.
Lastly, ask your partner. Chances are, if they are into the rough and tumble sex, they have fantasies they want to act out as well. As long as you have a partner who consents, the sky is the limit to how far you can take rough sex. You know you’re doing your job right when they have tears rolling down their cheeks, and a grin on their face.
I can talk about this topic for hours so don’t be shy to ask me more specifics, or tell me what you’ve already done so I can give you better ideas!
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