FLASH! World’s Oldest Sex Toy Found - The find which has been dated to be at least 28,000 years old and found in a cave near Ulm in Germany was made from siltstone and was apparently discarded after being broken.

I knew Betty White hosting SNL was going to bring out all sorts of odd sex news! (jk, much love to her!)

Scientists believe they have found the world’s oldest sex toy after piecing together more than a dozen fragments to create a 30,000 year old ice age penis.

Putting together an ancient jigsaw puzzle, and it’s a dick – sounds like something DAPS.TV would do. haha

A spokesman for the University of Tubingen where the prehistoric tool is being studied added that when it was not being used as a sex aid – the prehistoric penis was used to light fires.

Did they find ancient vaginal DNA on it?  Maybe it was a male bonding right of passage anal toy! PS, haha, they said “Tool”.

The eight-inch stone penis has marks where it was clearly used for striking against flints – and scientists say the size and shape and polished appearance leave little doubt as to the other use of the sex toy.

Uh, maybe because the MOST IMPORTANT THING TO SURVIVAL (besides food) was FIRE; the early people held onto it, used it often; thus the oils on their hands kept it smooth.  Plus, for long time now dicks have been honored in fertility shrines in other cultures.  Is it so difficult to believe that MAYBE this wasn’t a sex toy? Perverts.

The find which has been dated to be at least 28,000 years old and found in a cave near Ulm in Germany was made from siltstone and was apparently discarded after being broken.

I cry when my batteries burn out, I can only imagine how these ladies felt when their dildo’s broke!!

As well as the distinctive form the penis also has carved rings around one polished end leaving little doubt as to its nature.

Perverts, totally seeing what you want to see. jk – This is totally a sex toy!!

The different parts were found in a cave complex associated with the activities of modern humans and not their pre-historic “cousins”, the Neanderthals.

Duh, they saw how toy companies are making a killing with high end stone, wood, metal and glass toys – they want a piece of the pie.

The penis is particularly rare because examples of masculinity from the time are rare although female inspired art with exaggerated sexual characteristics such as large breasts are relatively common.

Art? Its call porno.  Get with it!

Source: Fox News (There’s another shocker)