Helping Guys build an Arsenal. (NSFW)

Did you know that on average a male orgasm lasts for 7 seconds?

A woman’s orgasm lasts about triple that on average, 24 seconds to be a little bit more precise.

Sort of adds insult to injury if it happens to have been a while, and you don’t last so long with the girl you notch your bedpost with one night.  Or you go for hours, she gets off 100x, the bed is soaked and *pop* just like that, you’re done.  Its like you actually licked a Blow Pop to get to the bubble gum center and there is only a speck of gum.
That sucks.

There is so much pressure on you guys (pun intended) to preform, and know how to please a girl.  Some women even expect you to be mind readers and just KNOW their hot spots without any clues from them.  Well, fuck that.  This post isn’t about them, it is about you.  If women have a 6 barrel mini gun (like the one in terminator) and you have a Glock 9mm (like cops use) , you’re going to find out how to upgrade to a Desert Eagle .50 Caliber (like the NON replica used in the movie Snatch).

Masturbation is awesome – the first tip is to never go out with a loaded gun.  Think: Something About Mary minus the hair gel debacle.

But you’re used to your hand.  I mean, you two (or three if you’re going for “the stranger” method) have a long standing relationship already.  You need to change it up and introduce something that is more intense so when you have sex its not such an extreme upgrade.

First thing to try out would be a good lubricant.  There is the house hold stuff like hand lotion, or hair conditioner if you’re in the shower.  I’ve heard many brands thrown out there so just find one that works for you.  Baby oil, olive oil is another good one I’ve heard.  Oil based stuff never dries and it is good for your skin. BUT THEY ARE NOT CONDOM OR VAGINA SAFE. So give your junk a good scrub with soap and water after you use anything oil based.  Oil can cause all kinds of potentially unwanted issues… like babies when the condom breaks and infections of the yeast variety.

The Vag is a self cleaning system, we call it The Ecosystem.  Upset that balance of good/evil and you’ll NEVER fuck up again.  Lets just avoid doing so.

If you want to go out and buy stuff MADE FOR MASTURBATION then power to ya.  Stroke 29 and Elbow Grease are amazing oil based products.  They are in a cream form out of the tube but after a few strokes you’ll be in heaven.  Don’t use too much though, the 6oz tube gives you about 30 sessions or so.

stroke29

Gun Oil has a silicone formula, so does Eros.  They’re pretty good, but they get a little gritty if used for too long; these are better used for sex.  We discussed how birth control and other meds can throw off The Ecosystem so a good lube is a great thing to have around.  Sex shouldn’t hurt, it should only be amazing.

gunoil_4oz_large

The only reason to use a water based lubricant would be to put it in a Stroker, the second thing to try in your line of defense.  Any other lube will ruin your Stroker.  My testers say to use Gun Oil or LELO, they like them the best.  Strokers are great tools to help you prolong your sessions, or to have a better time masturbating.  No they don’t feel like the real thing, but unlike the real thing they don’t hop on the rag and run you over, they don’t bitch about doing anal, and it’ll never EVER say no. Sorry people who are sensitive to this way of thinking, they’re facts, get over it.  Strokers are great tools to help gain more cock control.

Use a Stroker by yourself, or introduce it to your girl and have fun naming it – it’ll be the threesome she wont flip out over, get a blindfold so you can let your imagination run wild.

Some of them look odd, but they’re totally worth it.  I know MANY converts who use them more often than their own hands.

The FleshLight (FL) hit mainstream a few times but it has been around for quite some time, last noted in Zack & Miri Make a Porno.  There are tons of videos on these.  They are top of the line, and you’ll pay for them.  FL has come down in price, but not much over the years.  The best deals are still through their website.

flFleshLight’s Original Pink Lady – Visit their forum for more advice.

But if you don’t want to spend the money, and just want to check it out.  There are many MANY others that range anywhere between $8 and $50… most of them hovering the $20-$30 range.

Rubber and Jelly types are stretchy and easy to clean and have almost no maintenance.  Personally, my testers say to find the ones with the ridges on the inside of them they seem to be the most wanted and to never get the ones that are just smooth inside – totally not realistic.  If it is closed on one end, and you squeeze the air out after adding the lube and before putting it over your dick it creates crazy suction, sort of  like the feeling you get if you’ve ever experienced deep throating.  These are a slightly more difficult to clean but not by much. Thing is, rubber/jelly deteriorate and break down quickly — so save up, your dick is worth it.

headhonchoHead Honcho is a Sue Johanson product, it is jelly/rubber with ribs and bumps on the inside – pretty awesome.

If they are open on both ends you can pinch one side closed and it’ll create that vacuum feeling.  These are easier to clean because the water and soap can just go through it and they dry faster. If there is anything inside of them, like beads – they’re made to give you MORE stimulation on the underside of your dick – this is a good thing.

doublebeadDouble row of beads- for YOUR pleasure.

Use Dial, or a mild antibacterial soap and warm water on any and all Strokers you own (that aren’t Fleshlight).  Let them dry completely, and put them in a zip top baggie to hide away.  Don’t let them touch if you have more than one, they’ll get gross and you’ll have to throw them out.  If they are sticky, put a little corn starch on the outside and pat off the extra then store them.

If you get Cyberskin, True Skyn, Real Skin, UR3 Skin etc… it’ll feel the most like skin and less like a textured rubber tube.  These will be more expensive, and require you to not only use the cleaning regiment from the rubber Strokers, but you must put the powder on them or they’ll get all messed up.

joannavagIf she looks familiar, it is because it is a mold of Joanna Angel!

If you see the word Silagel on the package, that just means they added an antibacterial to the rubber/material -Doc Johnson is famous for doing this to their products.  These are usually a little more rubbery than skin like but have real skin colors.

If you truly after a great experience either alone or with someone than get a Cock Ring this would be the third thing in your arsenal.  There is only ONE way to wear them; the right way.  It should be big enough to put your balls through first, then your dick WHILE YOU ARE SOFT.  Aim for a 2 inch ring, that is about average once you put all the furniture in one room. The diameter under your balls and around your over your dick is a tight two inches give or take a quarter of an inch.

Adjustable rings are ok, they sort of look like lassos and you usually put it on too tight – not good.  But use them if you want to see what it is like and you don’t want to commit to the best experience.

adjustcr

Move the bead to make it tighter or to take it off.

Rubber rings are cool, but they roll, pinch, and squeeze.  Again, they are ok, but you’ll want the upgrade after a few uses.

spr22

Standard issue, black rubber ring.

Metal rings are where it is at.  They seem intimating, but they stay put.  Just warm them in your hand before ya put it on, they have that cold doctor’s stethoscope thing going on… unless thats what you’re into, then power to ya.  They’re also incredibly sexy and act like a bra for your cock.  They push you forward making your package look bigger.

spr03Sexy Sexy 2″ metal ring.

There is nothing like a hard dick, with a shiny metal ring around it making it look like Super Cock.  You will be bigger because it traps the blood rushing into your dick (thats how a hard on happens btw) that can’t get back out.  You will last longer because your body isn’t used to it.  The third benefit is that it prolongs your orgasm.  PROLONGS YOUR ORGASM.

Quick recap: You are longer, harder and stronger.

If they have anything on them that look like this: they’re actually cock “slings”.  And that nub extension massages your taint, which feels pretty damn good because its externally stimulating your prostate.

tan9423

These are made by Tantus.

If they have vibes on them, that is mostly for her pleasure.  If you turn them around they can buzz your balls instead, some like it, some of you don’t.  Try it out.

clitbuddy

Vibe buzzes her clit, feels darn good, but F that, this is about YOU.

Warning: Don’t wear a cock ring for more than an hour. You will be sore, you will be sorry.  After you orgasm you can take them off again.

Fourth -I’m sure you pros out there already know the “stop/start” technique when masturbating or you’re with someone.  It makes your session last longer and intensifies your orgasm because of the anticipation factor involved.
And lastly, number 5, isn’t for everyone, Prostate Massage.  If you’re after THE ULTIMATE experience, then you’ll have to lube up something small and curved and go for it.  Your immediate reaction will be to cum; and no that doesn’t make you gay.

Think: Stiffler and the nurse in Road Trip – probably with the stupid sound effects.

cancer_prostate_02

Your prostate is about where a woman’s Gspot is (except your spot is in your butt).  2-4 inches in, upwards towards your belly button, and you must curve your fingers to get it.  Lightly touch it after getting hard – it’ll feel amazing.  The best toy lines out there made for prostate massage are the Nexus and Aneros lines.  They are unparalleled in quality, intense, and a full body experience.  This will make you cum like a girl, and give you a money shot like Peter North.

glide

Nexus Glide – Ergonomically Shaped FOR YOU and YOU ONLY.

So, uh, yeah… there ya have it.  Nitecap Video sells this stuff if you’re local to Staten Island, NY.  If not, hit up any of the websites linked, do a google search or you can email us for a good spot to buy these new tools for your arsenal.

We incourage you share your tips with us, or with the forum to make everyone’s life a bit better – lend a helping hand (no homo)!

Share your thoughts

  • http://augiemania.com Carlo

    if anything i learned how to fap better. Thank you for making my self abuse more accepted and fun.

    Also, I fap A LOT.

  • FLAM

    On the real, I fap like crazy

  • http://www.DayoftheDeadProductions.com,http://www.TheOneGamingNation.com Sean – MoonDoggie82

    I won’t lie the Vibrating Cock Ring is a Godsend and I even bought it from you J. NightCap is awesome.

  • http://www.facebook.com/JaneBlow JaneBlow

    Carlo/FLAM – Fapping is a good thing, decreases the chance of getting prostate cancer. & now with more fun!

    Sean – thanks for the comment!! SEE PEOPLE I’m not making it up!! ACTUAL TESTIMONIAL!

    People – I know I’ve helped more of you :eyes them: come share!

  • carlo

    helps my prostate? dude, my shit is the size of a cantaloupe!

  • http://www.facebook.com/JaneBlow JaneBlow

    haha Carlo – then I guess you’ll have to answer the age old question:

    Would you rather take a shit or get a BJ?

  • http://augiemania.com Carlo

    ohgeez…..

    can’t i have both?

    BLUMPKIN WHAAAAT???!?!?!

  • sham

    The clit is real! it’s the female orgasm…thats the myth! What is a vagina?

  • http://www.facebook.com/JaneBlow JaneBlow

    Carlo – no to both, pick one. It amazes me that this is so difficult for men to answer. I vote this be the next DAPS poll. yep.

    Sham – if you come here, in the costume from your gravatar… I’ll show you myself. lol.

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