Setting goals is a healthy practice in our everyday life when we want to overcome an obstacle, get things done and feel accomplished.
When you set reasonable goals and work towards the finished results; the end result becomes the main focus. This creates enough motivation to get the task done. Usually the end justify the means. Dangling the proverbial carrot to win the race. We do this a lot. Diets for bathing suit season, or to fit into a wedding dress. Squirrel away part of our paycheck and cut back on little expenses to save up for concert tickets are good examples of this behavior.
We become goal oriented, totally obsessed with obtaining the almighty IT!
G O O O O O O O O O O O A A A A A A A A A L ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
In my experience, setting goals in the bedroom could hinder more than help. Goals concerning sex should more so mirror how we view a Road Trip.
Becoming goal oriented in the bedroom only causes bedroom dysfunction, low self esteem, “what’s wrong with me” ideas, fights, and break-ups.
During road trips the goal is to get back home safely but to have a REALLY good time ON THE WAY. To stop frequently, to take the scenic route, the road less traveled, and to try different things never done before!
If we become transfixed on the fun road to travel instead of the last stop goal, I believe we can all live better sex lives.
Standard Goal Oriented Model:
“My guy doesn’t last long enough in bed. Is it me? him? We’ve tried every other bit of advice and help = pills, creams, toys for me, rings for him, tantric, positions, no loaded gun sex, quickies, yoga, and diet change! I want to leave him because I’m not satisfied even though he is AMAZING at oral sex and is a good sport about it all.”
How do you think this guy feels? Bad enough, right? Like he is less of a man. Alone. Embarrassed. Fearful his partner is going to leave him. Lost. This dude has gone through the ringer with this goal of lasting longer. Look at all that stuff – toys, lotions, diet change and pills? And he still doesn’t last longer. Dubbed a “Minute Man”, a dud.
Road Trip Model:
He is trying EVERYTHING and has gotten her off countless times in other ways. He is likely a master oral sex giver, and is game to use all sorts of toys and rings. Tried taking pills which many are weary about, and using creams which de-sensitize to take away sensation from himself. He put his partner first and foremost and is made to feel bad about himself. Is looked at like a big “problem” it is all “his fault”.
Can you imagine how many times he can go all day, compared to just one long session? His ego allows him to use toys for assistance instead of put them down because he is “too good” for toys. This guy, when seen in this light can gain confidence and could overcome his “obstacle”, plus have self esteem. Plus- Imagine the sexy buzzing cock rings, the plethora of fun lotions in his arsenal drawer, and do NOT forget about the AMAZING oral sex. Please Sir, can I have another 100 orgasms?! He is THE MAN!
If you are with a someone “too good” to try something new, if you have a boring sex life… then give your partner the “goal oriented” complex. I’d rather stick with the road trip Robert Frost partner, and take the scenic route!
Share your thoughts