You’re a solid couple who would like to try Swinging and you’ve come up with your own boundaries – you are ready ready, but have no one to play with. What to do, what to do?
You can approach a couple you feel is hot, and might be interested by talking about it openly. Any good relationship with friends will inevitably turn to sex given a bottle of wine. You can drop hints like, “have you ever wondered what sex would be like with other people? My hubby asked me the other night, and I have to admit, it doesn’t seem scary.”
With a couple you don’t know too well, you can get them out on a double date somewhere really fun – physical activity and a few drinks usually help the situation. Bowling and Billiards are fun because it always excludes someone from the conversation and they have to play catch-up. You can feel them out individually. There are so many jokes to be made about balls, and racks… it would be easy to swing the conversation over into “It is funny how much pins/cue balls are so much like the way people interact in bed, if you add more than two people it could be explosive… you ever think of sex with more than your spouse?” territory.
As far as strangers go, I feel this is the easiest because you can track down swinger clubs and private parties in your area (yes, there is always at least one!) because you are NOT alone. The internet makes the world “—this big—”. If you are rejected by one couple, there are always more out there. No harm done.
Trying to get your friends and acquaintances in bed requires finesse- and it is usually easier for women to talk to women, men to talk with men. You have to create a suggestive situation and allow it to happen – and conspire together to make sure everyone is having fun! Having to go on more than one date is a GOOD thing, it means they are warming up to you and haven’t closed the door on the idea. Foreplay is important, warming up is important, emphasize on your journey rather than the goal and you will have so much fun!
I’ve done such a good job a few times, that they thought it was THEIR idea in the end;
being a catalyst is great fun for me.
Tips:
- Don’t go out lookling like schlubs, get ready like you are about to go on a blind date with the world.
- Try not to be pushy – there is a fine line between suggestive and going the 80% -the rest of the “chemistry” has to come from them.
- Have fun with the journey, this way any potholes you hit will hurt less.
- Don’t be discouraged if your first couple of dates don’t go well, use the tension to screw your partner’s brains in. After all, there can’t be 4 or more without the 2 of you together first.
<3 Jane
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