All too often people are off put by the FIRST time they try something new… especially in the bedroom. There are so many variables that could make “new” go sour. All of the mistakes, none of the research, wrong lube… you could have even been with the wrong person. Maybe you didn’t fully believe in yourself or the technique you were using.
Try rolling the dice once, and see what happens, learn from the “mistakes” and talk about what could have been better WITH your partner. Any topic can be breached by talking about it. Give anal a try, spank your partner, try to swallow him whole, or make her squirt.
Second time around, you’re already coming at your idea wiser, more experienced but sometimes this roll solves only half of the “did we do that right?” It is very easy to get discouraged and give up BUT!
You’ve heard the ol’ saying “Third time’s the charm…” and it totally applies to the bedroom.
I can personally say I’ve tried this technique with a few things. Anal being one of them. I could use any other act or kink I am into to explain this… like submission, or asphyxiation… but I think anal is something many struggle(d) with. I was no exception.
1st After MY first time, I can’t even BEGIN to tell you everything I did wrong. Porno was to blame; apparently you can’t just sick it in someone’s ass without warm-up/lube…heh. I was young, stupid, my partner had a huge cock… it just wasn’t going to work the way we tried to do it. We did EVERYTHING wrong, and I didn’t even know till a few years later with my next partner.
2nd Which also failed, but not as miserably. By this time, I was a little more curious about it, and when my butt finally stopped hurting… he would be done. Clearly we did SOMETHING correct. But I still couldn’t get over the “ew, anal is dirty… gross” mindset and therefor didn’t bother trying it again. I just didn’t want to. I didn’t get it.
Yeah, even Sexperts have their bad rolls. We didn’t get this bed smart naturally, it was trial and error. Learning from our peers, the internet, books, and the enthusiasts. I thought “of course gay men love anal, they have a prostate – what do WOMEN get out of it? Sure it is taboo, sure it is different… what is all the hubbub about?!” This mindset chewed away at me.
In the next year or so from having tried anal twice, I met a handful of Bend-Over Betty’s (female anal enthusiasts). I learned who Tristan Taormino was. I saw that anal HBO Real Sex episode. They all made anal sex seem so exciting, I was CLEARLY missing out. The concept and thought of anal didn’t gross me out. I began to think, “Woman, you are into everything else under the sun when it came to sex; this anal thing just isn’t adding up.” I was trying new things all the time and learning new facts. With more research, a new mindset and moving on to another partner… one day it worked.
3rd It not only did this dice roll work… but it W O R K E D. O-M-G did it work. It was A M A Z I N G. It was so amazing, he still teases me (so do a few of my friends). I was the one who HATED anal sex because of my shitty first experience. I was the “Nuh, uh, no way, not for anyone. Don’t lick it, touch it… hell, don’t even LOOK at it” woman in my circle of friends.
Now I not only have several high-end toys specially made for anal, but I’ve found myself asking for it.
Moral of the story: Don’t knock something, till you’ve tried it…thrice.
<3 Jane
Tags: Anal Sex, bend-over betty, HBO Real Sex, third times the charm, Tristan Taormino
Make this viral and you get 1,000,000 internet dollars.
Related Posts
