Warning: It’s a little long, which men will like to know… but you’re in for a surprise ladies.
After I wrote What Sex Feels Like For Me to the best of my ability, it made me wonder what it feels like for a man. Not just surface thoughts, so I asked my stunt cocks, my perverts, friends and any other like minded individual with a brain and a cock to describe it to me.
I said to describe sex, as vivid as they can and to keep virgins, women, the lesser experienced and the curious in mind.
I sent out txts, emails, facebook messages and waited… and waited… and waited. Men think about sex more times a day than women do reportedly. These guys in particular love sex, chat sex with me often and we see eye to eye on many things about sex. I was excited to get so many potentially superb opinions.
What actually happened shouldn’t have shocked me. After all, you read all those Men vs Woman comparison jokes where the women have a paragraph of text, and the man’s side has a sentence.
What you ask? Nearly nothing. I figured after all the time these men talk sex, want sex, brag, and look for sex, that they would have something better to say than “I don’t know, good?” and the ever lame “Like warm apple pie”. It wasn’t an easy task for me to come up with what I wrote, and I had confidence in my men.
Then I got Guy 1’s response and I understood why it was so difficult for them to put sex into words.
I’ve been back and forth with sharing it at all with you, but it sort of just makes me a little sad for men. My Infamous Pervy Friend redeemed what Guy 1 said a little, but I’m still not convinced. This is what two of them men said, verbatim.
Without further adieu…
You want to know what it feels like? Alright, I’ll play….
Let’s start with a comparison. Ever have a surgical procedure done while you are awake? Something like stitches? Or anything that requires local anesthetic?
You can’t feel the big things – the cutting for instance. You can only feel the small things, the Dr. pinching, or shifting you, or something like that.
That’s sort of the general idea of where my comparison goes.
Imagine for a minute that you have a sex organ that is on the OUTSIDE. Up to this point it has spent almost 28 years rubbing against the inside of [my] jeans, being whipped out in all kinds of environments (cold, hot, humid, dark, light etc). You’ve got it caught in things, you’ve scratched it, cut it, bent it. You’ve basically dragged it through the gutter stuck it in places you would prefer your wife never know about AND beat the living shit out of it – sometimes up to 5 times a day!
What is the result of all of this? A highly desensitized organ. I’ve got more functioning nerve endings on the back of my hand than on my cock.
So compare that to a woman’s experience. You start off life with something like 10x the number of nerve endings that a man has. Add to that the fact that 99% of the surface area is inside of your body waiting for the next pleasurable thing to enter it. How can we compare? The truth is we cant… Sex for a man? Physically speaking its all broad sweeping, very general feelings. Tightness, warmth (temperature sensations are one of the last hold outs for our battered cocks) a general feeling of things pulling or sliding correctly or incorrectly.
Even a good blow job is little more than vaguely wet sensations, sucking sensations, punctuated by the occasional highly evolved feelings that a woman experiences when a skilled tongue finds some less abused parts of our anatomy. And even then… some men (myself included) would prefer that you stay away from those areas… its just too MUCH feeling for me thank you very much.
So your asking yourself “So then, what gets you off?” Well here’s the rub (pun) – These broad general sensations are augmented by a healthy dose of fantasy fulfillment.
I’m fucking you from behind? Well, it feels the same as when I fuck you missionary style, but from behind I can imagine (or actually enjoy) the sight and sound of you looking back over your shoulder and whispering something utterly filthy. Not to mention the view and opportunities presented by your now vulnerable ass.
Ditto for blow jobs and anal sex. Its not about where I am putting it, its about the fact that you let me put it there. It is about you LOVING it there… it is about what I am about to do in there.
85% Cerebral 15% Physical. THAT’S what it feels like for a man.
Ladies – If you want to know how to enhance the experience for your man you can do two things.
First – Learn your man, because we are all different. Find out what he likes and what is sensitive, and if he likes you touching his sensitive places.
Second – Learn to think like a porn star “lady on the street but a freak in the bed,” is about the perfect description for the perfect woman. Find a balance between what YOU want (presumably romance, cuddling, tenderness) and what HE wants (to fuck you like the slut you know you want to be).
Buck up and don’t be afraid to say some of the filthiest shit that has ever come out of your mouth. Ask him what turns him on and don’t be afraid of the answer. Remember, the number one reason why men cheat is because they want something different. So learn how to be a different woman in bed every time he fucks you and he’ll have no reason to stray!
Sucks right? In comparison to a woman anyway. Though, I did like the “to fuck you like the slut you know you want to be” bit. That I’ve found is true for people with fantasies who can’t express them.
Another point that struck me, was how cerebral men are. That dumb face you make, is a total lie. It isn’t representing LACK of thought, it is the overload of thought. Women wonder if they look weird, or worse, fat. You guys seem to have the weight of the world on you to preform, and better yet, preform excellently.
Do you guys ever just get lost in sex? Am I a minority? It amazes me how much thinking is done during sex.
Frustrated, I showed this to most of the men I asked originally, and many agreed. WHAT? After all the thinking, talking, looking for sex, this is what you guys are after?! I was in a funk for more than a week. Thankfully, a few of them also had a few changes.
My Infamous Pervy Friend:
I really couldn’t agree with this less. The underside is probably the most sensitive part on my body (which is why I like a tongue on it). As far as most of the sensation is “fulfilling a fantasy”; I’ve pretty much fulfilled every one of my fantasies over the years. I can’t even think of one that I haven’t done right now, so its not that exciting. Granted the fantasy stuff is great, but its definitely not what gets me off.
AND fucking from behind does DEFINITELY not feel like fucking missionary style. There is a different sensation for pretty much every single position, each one rubs a different spot, with a different amount of pressure and friction, and different parts of the vaginal canal have different textures. Maybe this guy is using condoms? Because if he is, I understand why he wrote this the way he did, other than that…no effin clue.
What do you think? Do you agree, disagree? Share, please. Inquiring minds need to know.