We all have had to deal with people that rub us the wrong way. You know who I’m talking about – those people that bring up a certain “je ne sais quoi” in you, and you can’t wait to be rid of their company. These types of people exist through all social, political, religious, and ethnic circles. I want to single out one in particular – the holier-then-thou, sexually conservative, morally righteous, abstinent until married, virginity pledge taking, ignorant to THE FACTS, daddy-daughter ball dancing prissy prude.
Before you say, “But Justin, you write scienc-y pieces with facts, and numbers and crap, what’s this all about?” Well, people in general piss me off, and one of the worst offenders on that list are the aforementioned prissy prudes. If you have the unlucky circumstance of coming within 10 feet of one you need to know how to keep cool and repute all their bile with the things they fear most: Facts and an understanding of the human body and it’s sexuality and the difference between gender and sex, and being of the opinion that homosexuality is a choice, etc.
Are we on the same page now? You get who I am talking about? I’m not calling out educated virgins, or educated religious folk – you are cool with me, we are friends.
I’d never tell one of these types they don’t have a right to think and feel the way they do – but I will disarm their vitriol and untruths – and you can too! I don’t have a lifetime to dismantle all their disdain for sex I’ll go over some popular arguments and what you can do to be prepared to strike them down.
One of the most popular arguments is the “I’m waiting until marriage, check out my virginity pledge ring, SSSQQUUUEEEEE!” My first reaction is always “Oh god you are annoying! Shush” Ask the Prissy Prude why they are waiting, why it’s important to them, and if it’s because of previous life experiences, like a relationship that became dangerously aggressive…tell them that you respect their choice, but it’s flawed for many reasons.
Sometimes these girls turn out to actually be “sluts”. But they rationalize it by not giving up the main prize, but taking it in the pooper or being a champion dick sucker is OK. To them it doesn’t count because its not “Sexual Intercourse”, and for a guy if he didn’t stick it into a va-jay-jay, his dick is still virgin. In 1999, a study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association which examines the definition of sex based on a 1991 random sample of 599 college students from 29 states found that 60% percent said oral-genital contact did not constitute having sex. (A further study says that 30% of people surveyed age 18 – 94 don’t think vaginal sex counts as sex if there is no ejaculation.) After the initial shock of “Wow, really?” wears off, you want to say something to them but calling the person an idiot isn’t very productive. Instead say “Oral sex and anal sex count as sexual relations, just as much as vaginal sex. It doesn’t count any less or more one way or the other”. Most people consider oral sex to be much more personal then vaginal or anal sex, and treat it as a quid-pro-quo: you do me, I’ll do you. The fact is – sexual penetration is sexual penetration, no matter what’s going where.
So remember, when dealing with these types, keep a cool, calm head. Don’t let the misrepresentation and incorrect facts throw you off or make you angry. In the age of mobile smart phones you can call out this repressive bullshit as you see it coming. Backed up with published facts and a sense of confidence because you know what the fuck you are talking about when it comes to sex- Special thanks to us at the Sexpert Jane Blow Website! (*cough* Shameless Plug *cough*)
At best, the Prissy Prude runs back to their social circle where everyone thinks and acts just like they do. And maybe, just maybe, some impressionable person who hears your debate is saved from making a poor sexual decision.
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