Nikki CoXXX Says: Inanimate Objects That You SHOULD Be Putting By/In Your Vagina: Part I - The key to a, "Floating On Cloud 9," orgasm can be reached with every day house hold items that do in fact serve a better purpose than what they were originally invented for.

It amazes me that so many women are still afraid to masturbate because they think it’s, “dirty” and/or “unladylike.”  In most cases, these are the girls that use the, “Getting Drunk,” excuse so it’s, “socially acceptable,” for guys to grope them in public.  Well, bar sluts and tight asses alike… loosen up, because if you don’t learn about what your pussy likes, no man will ever be able to crack the code.  Before you have a panic attack, you don’t even have to use a dildo, vibrator or some crazy sex toy that should come with a 100+ page instruction manual. The key to a, “Floating On Cloud 9,” orgasm can be reached with every day house hold items that do in fact serve a better purpose than what they were originally invented for.

The OctoPUSSY of all orgasms… get it? it looks like an octopus, and octopus’ live in the ocean… oh, forget it…

Pervertable 1: Detachable Shower Head.

For women, showering has become a tedious chore. If we aren’t spending 15 minutes making sure we didn’t miss a spot shaving, (because, unfortunately, the European trend hasn’t hit the states yet), we are rinsing and repeating more times than Paris Hilton has been caught with cocaine… just so our brushes don’t rip out every last strand of hair from our heads.

Well, I don’t know about you, but if I’m going to have to spend enough time in the shower that I come out looking like a prune, my time better be well spent.

Facts about solo shower sex:
1) You don’t have to worry about anyone walking in on you.
2) You’re already naked.
3) No clit is the same, so thankfully, most detachable shower heads have multiple water pressure settings.
4) No mess, easy clean up.
5) The hoses are long enough so you can position your body in any position that is required to get yourself off.

Unfortunately, most showers are too small to place a Slippery When Wet sign on the floor while you masturbate, so for the love of God, kneel, lay or sit down.  Personally, I prefer to sit on it, (that’s what she said), because that allows myself to have better control of how much pressure I want to feel. And finally, don’t allow TOO MUCH water to get inside of you.  Allowing a tsunami to take place inside of your vagina will disturb the self cleaning process of your easy easy bake oven.  Five words. You’ll. Get. A. Yeast. Infection.

Happy Showering – aka Waterbation! :)