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Posted on Jul 16, 2009 by — How To, Jane Says — 9 comments

OK Guys, the Gig is UP… We’re Onto You! (Kinda NSFW)

Quite frankly, I am TIRED of hearing about the “OOPS!  Its in your ASS!” move.  It has come up in conversations all too often this month.

You know the one!

If you don’t, here is a little reminder:

So… you’re having sex, usually doggy style, everything is great, fucking away, maybe even Long Dicking… until… you “accidentally” pull out too far from her pussy and WHAM! stick the tip of your cock (or more) in her ass… you STOP, sort of apologize… and then stay there. OR WORSE start fucking her ass even though she is all “stop stop, that hurts, wait, OMG! STOP!!”

Yeah, THAT ONE!

Don’t sooth us, don’t candy coat the pain, don’t be an insensitive idiot!

There are better ways to introduce anal sex to your girlfriend.

Have you tried asking her?  Maybe talking about how turned on it makes you?  Patience and lube are the two key words for this situation.  You can do/get anything with a little patience and lube.

Try THESE sneaky moves first, and if she responds positively, then MAYBE you can try sticking your cock in her ass that night.

1.  Go down on her, but make sure you get her in the position to make lick a little further down – go in for a quick lick, but stray down further and further – try a little analingus first.

dirty_w_carlo

To see a much dirtier version of this photo click on Carlo’s face… pervert.

Good response?  She sqeaks, laughs, or moans a little but pushes you away?  Still a better response than punching you in the face and ruining the moment.  Don’t think you’ll like licking it?  Try some flavored lube.

O'My Cherry Flavored Lube is a fan favorite.

O’My Cherry Flavored Lube is a fan favorite.

2.  If going down just isn’t your thing… you still need to prep the area first.  A woman’s body has to be turned on to even try to THINK about anal sex most of the time.  So get her into the doggy position again, and as you’re fucking, try rubbing a lubricated finger over her butt hole.

3. If she moans and shows other signs of being turned on,  try slipping a finger in her ass, or a small anal safe toy.

4. If all goes well, THEN SLOWLY try your cock.
5. Recap: Work slow, patiently, talk about it, and use lubricant.

Don’t let me hear about this fuck up again!

<3 Jane

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9 comments
  • http://augiemania.com Carlo

    Excellent Advice. I hope I will be forever associated with analingus.

  • http://www.porknbomb.com PorkNBomb

    I like the picture with carlo’s face better than the 1 without. I don’t know why.

  • http://www.grandmaslut.com Daye

    hotttt

  • http://www.facebook.com/JaneBlow JaneBlow

    Funny Daye. :)

  • Poppa Checks

    penny licking is very good…. two thumbs up….way up…the butt..

  • http://www.CondomElite.com CondomElite

    How about using something like Adam&Eve Anal Lube? It is not just enhances penetration, but also desensitizes for more comfort.

  • http://twitter.com/SexpertJaneBlow @SexpertJaneBlow

    I'm not a fan of desensitizing -anything. It does more damage than good. The pain response your body gives to a certain stimuli is it saying "SLOW THE FUCK DOWN JERK, YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG!" :)

    If you're desensitized, you can't feel pain, and can cause far more serious damage. If you have anal sex correctly, you shouldn't feel pain, at all.

  • MisterGone

    Followed the link from Lit to get here.

    Nice site, Jane!

    And to add my two cents;

    It is possible to survive the OOPS technique.

    You may even be forgiven… Once.

    Or you may (like a friend of mine did) wake up with a kitchen knife sticking out of your chest.

    Honey-ko didn’t think the joke was funny twice.

    True story.

    That shit gave me nightmares for weeks.

    Semper Fi.

    Gone

  • http://twitter.com/SexpertJaneBlow @SexpertJaneBlow

    Thanks for following links from Lit, I love that place!

    Unless the bottom who is being plowed is secretly hoping it slips and goes into her ass, but doesn't have the "balls" to ask for anal – then there is recovery. But otherwise, I don't think so.

    Essh, a kitchen knife? ouch.