A recommended, innocuous white jar sits on my computer desk, its definition similar to that of an under-eye wrinkle creme. A green label wraps around the front, Cleopatra’s Secret Creme, in simple gold cursive. I twist open the lid and the contents are a a soft green dense lotion that when is raised to my nose and inhaled, reminds me of speaking intimately to someone with a mouth compacted of menthol cough suppressants.
I flip around the jar for instructions, finding only one sentence proclaiming one will “experience waves of pleasure and delight when lovingly applied to the clitoris.” No warnings, no other directions, just certainty that this product will be enjoyed.
Facts:
- Ingredients: Sunflower Oil, Glycerol Monosterate, Stearic Acid, Sorbitol, Cetyl Alcohol, Sodium Bensoate, Potassium Sorbate, Propylparaben, FD&C Colors, Flavors.
- L-Arginine free / Petro-chemicals free
- Edible
- Made by Classic Erotica
Fun:
I rub a generous amount on… it is cold but absorbs quickly without leaving residue behind. Within 15 seconds I begin to feel the cool whisper of menthol prickling my skin. The second hand ticks ten more times and there are giant disembodied lips blowing glacial mist from a Listerine iceberg. I lean back and when I touch myself, my skin registers my fingers as frostbitten cubes.
So, do I recommend Cleopatra’s Secret Crème? Absolutely. It’s hard to justify not buying a faster orgasm for less than ten dollars. And if you’re like me and need the perfect conditions for climax – mood, attraction and plantary alignment – this product is an Egyptian godsend.
Conclusion:
Crème de Menthe was my flavor of choice, due to the claims of veteran users that it gave the strongest sensation. If your partner digs mint or the crisp drag of a menthol cigarette, you’re on your way to becoming a new addiction.
Wild Strawberry and — are the other flavors offered, which dials down the mint and leaves more of a fiant yogurt taste.
A warning of a prickle to the tongue would be courteous, before your merry muncher spits you out in a panicked hurry. Think if your foot fell slightly asleep and the pins and needles were enjoyable.
Rating: + + + + –
Cheap and effective, it’s every frugalist wet dream
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