Sexpert Jane Blow » Anal

Most Guys Don’t Like Anal

Silo Johnson — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 18:00:46 +0000

You want what you can’t have, until you have it: ANAL

That’s right, most guys aren’t really into anal. It’s all about the thrill of the chase, the forbidden fruit, the greener grass, etc. The majority of straight males you encounter talk about how they desperately want to penetrate a girl’s asshole. “How can I get my girl to give up the ass?” The thing is, once they get it, they’ve accomplished their goal and they move on. Yes they’ve enjoyed it, it was tighter, it was dirtier, but they’re probably not that kinky to begin with and the appeal was the only attraction.

The ass: Not just a tighter vagina

The problem with this is, anal will most likely hurt a girl the first time. She’s scared, she’s tense, she tightens up, which in turn makes it harder to get your penis in, which makes the whole experience more challenging. So after this one uncomfortable encounter, the girl is left with a memory of a very unpleasant event. The sad thing is, if you had the interest to try it a few more times, the girl would relax and most likely LOVE IT. I said it, not like it, LOVE IT. Anal can be immensely enjoyable for the female and can also lead to earth shattering orgasms.

Anal: It’s not just for the Greeks

I know most guys aren’t that into anal because many speak of trying it, less speak of regular practice, and even fewer mention fingering or even eating a girl’s ass. A true anal lover like myself will tear into an ass with every part of my being. I wanna stare at it, taste it, smell it, breathe it in, lick it, bite it, finger it, penetrate it, and destroy it (in a good way). “Is looking at a girl’s asshole a turn on?” YES!! I could stare at it for days! If you think sticking your tongue in a girl’s ass is disgusting, how can you put your penis in there? We all know what the biological purpose for the ass is, get over it. Embrace it! #NBHNC

Ladies: Relax, don’t freak out, don’t get nervous, let him start with his tongue, then a finger, then a small toy, and when you’re ready, take his cock in the unholiest of all holes.

Fellas: Calm down, don’t get too excited or anxious or impatient, if she’s not ready, DON’T FORCE HER, because when she is, it’s gonna be great.

“I like to pick up girls on the rebound from a disappointing relationship. They’re much more in need of solace and they’re fairly open to suggestion. And, I use that to fuck them some place very uncomfortable” “What, like the back of a Volkswagen?” – Mallrats

-The Silo

Dear Jane: Is It Safe to Cum in an Ass?

JaneBlow — Wed, 16 Mar 2011 15:00:12 +0000

Dear Jane, <— You can ask me anything, I promise.

Semen, ejaculate, or come by any other name is all the same… just another bodily fluid.

If it is relatively safe to drink urine, lick your own blood if you get a little cut, eat boogers as a kid, lick pussy, swallow come, and kiss away tears… it is safe to come in a person’s ass. As long as you are also taking proper STD precautions.

Just remember, what goes in, comes out … and not everyone likes to deal with it (especially if you choose not to wear a condom). Warn your partner first at least, or have fun talking about it.

Have the baby-wipes handy, and if it [anal] hurts you’re doing it wrong!

Erotica: Hindsight. Mary Ellen is Seduced into Anal Sex by her Loving Neighbors.

JaneBlow — Fri, 18 Feb 2011 17:13:36 +0000

“I’m sure every very guy ‘does’ look at that ass of yours,” Dana laughed. “Even I’m amazed by how trim and shapely your hips are after two kids. If I was a man…” Dana paused and then said, “Now I’m embarrassing myself,” and she suddenly looked away from the younger woman and blushed. If she told her the truth, sometimes she had a difficult time keeping her eyes off of the younger woman. Dana had never had a thing for women but if she did, Mary Ellen would be on the list.

Dear Jane: My BF Wants Anal; He Even Said I Can Do It to Him, What Should I Do?

JaneBlow — Wed, 01 Dec 2010 16:21:55 +0000

Dear Jane, <— if you click this, it’ll take you to Formspring.me. You’ll be able to ask me whatever you want, and be totally anonymous. Do it, and do it often; please and thank you!

My boyfriend really wants to do anal, and really wants me to do it to him too. I’m willing to finger/use anal plug/peg, but i think he wants to do it to me first and i’m not exactly comfortable with that. What should i do?

Featured: The Nexus Glide

There a term in the BDSM lifestyle called “Old Guard”. It is when a true submissive spends time being a Dominant so that they can better understand submission and Power Exchange. In the long run, it makes them a better submissive and person in the end. Some people remain a Switch which is fine; it is a learning experience after all. This opportunity also rarely happens in its true form, the term also tends to be archaic. But, ya know what I think? Carpe diem.

If the occasion arises that you are able to turn the tables like that, do not say you wont try it please. I strongly suggest you try it (thrice).

Tell him you’ll do it, after you do it to him. He can help guide you, and you can learn how it is done… all the while showing him what anal is supposed to be like. Tell him to prepare, because it’ll be a night he wont forget.

Use oral sex, analingus, use lube, go slow, relax… make it sexy and fun. Tease, rub, and fondle. Use your fingers, start with a small anal plug toy… go slow… and go from there. Ease it into him a micrometer at a time, allow his body to get used to the intrusion, let his body swallow it and adjust. Rub his legs, balls, cock. Pat the toy a bit once it is in. Usually men find the feeling of wiggling or tapping the toy much more than the “in out” feeling. If you find an angeled toy, aim it for his prostate… his cock might drool, he might even come immediately.

Plus, after you get over being nervous, penetrating a man, is quite a power trip. If you do it, you’ll understand what I’m saying. Men are usually the penetrators in straight relationships, women are the receivers - to turn that table. Wow.

If you do it right, he’ll love it, and feel no pain… and hopefully LEARN how to do it the right way from you. This way, you don’t have a terrible experience.

PS. It doesn’t make him gay.

He also might be willing to let you stick something in his ass, because he wants yours so bad. If he has never done it and wants to, he’ll say anything to get it. Be careful though, (as I say this, I’m laughing lightly because it has happened to many people I know) you could end up liking it and he might lose interest… then you’re really stuck. Oh no!

I wish you luck with both your anal experience(s), and I hope you both enjoy it.

Jane Says: Take A2M Precautions

JaneBlow — Fri, 20 Aug 2010 18:04:34 +0000

I don’t know about you, but when my parents told me not to do ________, it became even more tempting to do. This is how I think other people see A2M.

“Thank you” porno for introducing the masses to A2M, as in Ass to Mouth. Or ATOM, as in Ass to Other Mouth (when there is a third person around). This practice likely started as a raunchy fantasy where the anal receiver was just so ‘dirty’ they’d even suck on something that was IN their ass.

Porn has a way of making every raunchy fantasy come true. We didn’t stop at just simply watching people have sex. Soon there was a demand for interracial, and group sex, gangbangs, lesbians… anal… ass to mouth… forget condoms… and much more. Having “porn sex” is something people seek and brag about now-a-day.

Personally, I don’t know many (any?) people who would A2M, (please out yourself somehow, we need to chat!). It is a “dirty” practice, and precautions should be taken. I know in porno they do enemas and clean themselves before doing an anal scene to get rid of fecal matter. But, that doesn’t exactly wash away the other “risks”.

Without getting all “after school special” on you, here is a list of things that COULD potentially happen if you practice A2M:

Human Centipede Joke Here>

If you or your partner is infected with any STD or STIs you can contract herpes, chlamydia, HIV, Hepatitis, or Gonorrhea. Since anal sex happened prior to A2M, if there was any taring causing the colon to bleed which helps the passing of STD/STIs. But we know all about contracting STD STIs because we listened during Sex Ed. Right? You can also contract Intestinal Parasites, E. Coli, and Salmonella because we are dealing with the colon here – it is the end of the road and not meant to be ingested.

If you’re going to do it, take precautions and have fun.

Use condoms (roll it off before you suck on the object that was in your ass), dental damns (for analingus), Female Condoms (for penetration), use a body safe flavored lube, and clean up properly prior to anal sex. You can’t wash diseases away with an enema, but it’ll help get rid of other nasties. Use mouthwash, brush your teeth… you get the point.

A2M isn’t the BEST idea even though you see it all the time in porno. Remember, Porn Lies.

Side Note: Ass to Mouth is on Wikipedia! What? lol

Dear Jane: How Does A Prostate Massage Work?

JaneBlow — Thu, 19 Aug 2010 17:29:41 +0000

Dear Jane,

How does a proper prostate massage work?

The prostate is located a few inches into a man’s ass, it is easily found if he is laying on his back or side, or heck… on his knees when you place a finger inside his has and curl it towards his belly button.

He should be fairly aroused and warmed up with plenty of foreplay and rubbing his ass to “tell the body” something is going to happen to it, just like you would for a woman’s ass. As the famous Tristan Taormino says “You can tell a lot from sticking your finger in someone’s ass,” and she is correct. You will know immediately if you should slow down, if they are nervous and a slew of other emotions.

Your asshole doesn’t lie.

Basically you insert a finger (or two), or a small curved toy to start with (make sure your nails are short and clean, and the toy has a flared base) and use a bunch of a thicker water based lube, or a nice silicone lube… and gently stroke in that curvy motion. Side to side, straight over it, around it… you’ll feel the gland because it puffs up when aroused.

The prostate is what helps a man get hard, it helps make seminal fluid and also helps to expel it. You are massaging this glad to a new high which is why it feels so good. Mussels like a good massage, if you massage glands they respond as well.

You may lose your erection, you may not. The sensations are said to be “deep”, and “intensify” any sex you are having if you are stimulating your prostate with a man friendly ass toy at the same time. A man can have a very strong orgasm, or several little ones (like a woman). Ejaculate also usually leaks out of the penis instead of shoots; prostate massage could also be known as milking a cock.

It is an intense, personal experience that needs to be approached slowly, with lubricant and a patient open mind… or it’ll be more awkward than hot and you’ll likely not enjoy it.

Jane Says: Never Say Never

JaneBlow — Fri, 06 Aug 2010 19:16:02 +0000

A question on my formspring account got me thinking. I was going to write about something special you can do to your guy after sex that he’ll appreciate, but I’ve scratched that for now. (Sorry guys.)

The beautiful and talented MYVAG asked me:

Name 3 things you’d never do and why… sexual or nonsexual / not typically sexual etc…

Which I took to mean – Name 3 things in the sexual realm of sex or fetish that I’d never do.

The first few things that came to mind, are the usual “no scat, no vomit, no children, dead people etc…” the usual suspect line up of paraphilia - but that answer is boring. SO, I dug deeper and my brain started working. After I got over my “Never have I ever” flashbacks of college drinking games I came up with these:

I’d never stomp on someone’s balls – I’m just not into it, so even to be paid – I’d likely never do it.

I’d never be tickle tortured – it is a hard limit. Period. The thought of it makes me want to vomit; couldn’t pay me enough.

I’d never … um… (I hate this game, I always drink at this point. haha) I’d never… at this point, be branded or cut for the sake of being branded or cut as play.

If she would have asked me that very question 8+ years ago the list would look a little different. Anal sex would have been on the list – I was vehemently against anal. I was very wary about edge play back then too, being choked was barely a thought and I didn’t know submissives were actually branded in this day with their Master’s mark.

When you have my kind of sexual curiosity, you eventually get into things or master certain others after you understand them more. I went from NU-UH Anal, to now thinking it is divine with the right techniques. Thinking I’d pass out immediately and die if someone put their hands around my neck – to getting wet just thinking about it.

Moral of the story?

Never say never.

I picked my current “nevers” based on beliefs I have now. Stampeding or Stomping or Ball Popping or Trampling… goes by many names… and although the pictures are interesting, I know I couldn’t get into that play (so far) because it doesn’t DO anything for me. Even if I got paid, the person wouldn’t “feel” the right vibes from me and it would ruin the play altogether.

As far as cutting goes, I don’t think I’d do it for anyone but me. If I want to modify my body, awesome. I’m just not THAT dedicated to a single person to do it for any casual play at this point in my life.

All of you out there swearing off blow jobs make me laugh a little. Not a “I’m judging you” laugh, more of a “oh really? we’ll see” laugh. I’ve shocked MYSELF dozens of times already because curiosity got the best of me. I’m not saying run out and find a fetish circus, but give _______ a chance. You really never know if you’ll hate something until you’ve tried it once (let alone thrice).

FACT! Women Get Paid To Fap For You (But Anal Pays Better)

JaneBlow — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 14:37:05 +0000

For female porn stars, masturbation and girl-on-girl scenes pay the least, while anal sex and double penetration scenes pay the most.

Source: @WTFSexFACTS

Photo: Sasha Grey and Clara G

If you thought porn stars got a flat rate per scene, you were wrong. This is a true FACT!

Dear Jane: How Do You Like To Be Rimmed?

JaneBlow — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 17:47:36 +0000

Dear Jane,

How do you like to have your asshole licked best? Some people are grossed out but I have found a majority of women melt under this technique. Also great foreplay for anal.

By George, this person has GOT IT!

Yes, analingus, rimming, tossing the salad, licking ass… is perfect foreplay, especially for anal sex. It helps people relax, it somewhat of an intimate taboo place to put your tongue and is a very hot spot on many people’s bodies. The poor sensitive ring of flesh is hidden tucked away by two spankable, biteable, grabbable globes and is just waiting to be touched; even if YOU think it is a “no no” spot.

Ass licking is definitely something to try thrice, I remember my first time being very…wet. Weird. My mind couldn’t quite let go into a pleasure zone so I pulled his head back up to my pussy and continued on. But he was persistent and very good at manipulating my body, ultimately he won me over.

After making sure every one is clean (I showered and took care of myself), and a quick check to see if his nails are clean and mouth is fresh – no one needs pink eye or an infection… I like a few different positions.

Of course there is doggy, ass in the hair, face mashed in a pillow while he is back there licking – or me on my back and a pillow under my butt – even the laying down from behind, one leg tucked to my chest position.

Then there are the tongue strokes – I like variety, so what works one day might not work for me the next at times. So try a long licking stroke, circles, a back and forth motion… incorporate your fingers, maybe a toy… don’t forget my clit and we can be friends. Actually, what I like best is having fun. If we both aren’t down for this, it isn’t fun at all.

I’ve had a partner go for an attempt just to see what it was all about, neither of us were excited about it, and the rimming was just plain awkward. Not fun. MUCH more fun when you are both down for it.

If you love it, go for it! Show your partner how much fun it is, and how good it feels – and eventually they will come around to it.

Barbie Says: A is for ANAL!

BarbiexHardcore — Tue, 04 May 2010 14:41:46 +0000

Welcome to the first in a series of 26 things (following the alphabet) that I couldn’t agree more with!

Anal, some say it’s taboo or dirty or even just plain wrong. Now I am aware you can’t teach an old dog new tricks and there is no converting someone who is already set in their ways BUT hopefully I can get to all you fence sitters about giving anal a try! The more you keep an open mind about anal sex or even anal foreplay, then the more you discover about yourself.

Also don’t let one bad experience dictate everything, Ladies you all know the first time you have sex is the WORST, but yet you try it again after that. Why don’t we work the same way with anal?

To ease the pain of listening to me drone on about anal sex for awhile I’ll cut this short, sweet and comical by telling you of MY lovely first time having anal sex. I was 16 and dating a guy who was in his early 20′s, he was well experienced in anal sex and promise it was worth it. At that point in time he was trying to romance me by bringing me on a “dingy” he called a boat so I guess the only trick you have left is to making promises about anal sex. I reluctantly agreed and with VERY little anal foreplay involved we got down to the nitty gritty. Since obviously in a boat we weren’t well prepared and therefore lacking in the lube department we used Lubriderm (I SHIT YOU NOT!!!! PLEASE don’t ever try that at home!).

Now this guy (I’m not just saying this because he is an Ex, it’s the truth here) doesn’t have the length or girth to make regular sex uncomfortable with the virgin mary, but still shoving that at my ass was uncomfortable to say the least. Yours truly being and awesome girlfriend at the time clenched my jaw and waited until he was done, to this day I still have no idea why I didn’t just say stop or talk about how uncomfortable I was.

After that 15 minutes of anal sex was over (being generous here with the time), the idea of anal sex was a very distant thought to even say the least. Only when I was watching porn and realizing some women really do love it did I consider it again. Although this time I was smarter, instead of jumping on some guy- I bought sex toys and with the thought of “who can I trust more than myself”. Discoverig what I did and didn’t like, how to relax some muscles, what felt like proper anal foreplay and so on. I did this until I felt comfortable trying it with a person because then I could easily say if I was ready or not. Years later I am down for any kind of anal play! Well, anything short of a fist in my butt.

What I am getting at here is that don’t let one terrible experience ruin something that could be awesome. If you are nervous talk to your partner – do what I did and go on some solo adventures! You can’t say you don’t like something until you fully give it a go, so give it the good old college try!

Always keep an open mind, and NEVER use Lubriderm!
<3 Barbie

Sexlopedia: Rim Job

BarbiexHardcore — Mon, 03 May 2010 18:04:57 +0000

It sounds very mechanical but I promise you it’s as easy as 1, 2, LICK!!

This is for all you anal connoisseurs out there!

Rim Job: The act of stimulating your partner’s sphincter with your tongue is called “rimming”. May also be known as “Analingus”.

For anal to be pleasurable for both participants you have to make sure that the muscles in the anus are relaxed, and giving rim jobs is an awesome way to do such. It’s surprisingly awesome, and the tongue supplies an amount of pressure that is similar to a massage and can be very soothing.

I understand that this isn’t for everyone to try, but if you are interested in giving this a shot make sure everything is SUPER clean! Even give a flavored lube a try, there are a bunch of delicious brands and flavors.

A good way to give a quick test try Rimming: when your going down on your partner just over extend a lick down to their ass and see what they does. If they stop you play it off as a mistake and if they like it keep going! You are taking the first step on the path to get some back door loving if they are holding out on you.

Good luck and happy licking on your lovers!

<3 Barbie

Review: Elbow Grease Original Cream Lube

JaneBlow — Thu, 22 Apr 2010 17:24:40 +0000

My “Stunt Cocks” love their job.

My guys don’t star in porno, they test products for me and give me a full report. I guess I should collectively call them “Mikey” instead. You remember the Life Cereal Commercial where the kids wouldn’t try the cereal and they gave it to Mikey who ended up liking the cereal.

Recently Elbow Grease Lubricants and I were chatting on Twitter, and they ended up sending me a few samples for my stunt cock Mikey to try out. After I dug him out of masturbation heaven, this is what he had to say about one of the oldest lubricant companies out there.

Jane threw me in mostly blind to this one, made me do my research and learn the product. Since mine came in a little sample pouch there wasn’t much info to start with. She told me it was great to jerk off with, and not to use the whole packet in one session.

Facts:

Their website says THIS one is the lube that started it all for the company back in 1979.
Mineral oil based thick cream lubricant.
Safe, long-lasting premium lubricant.
Should only be used with polyurethane condoms and should not be used with latex.

Fun:

She didn’t tell me the gay community also loves this product for anal sex. That I figured out on my own with some googling - much to my girlfriend’s delight. I can understand why.

I opened up some vids on pornhub.com so I wouldn’t get this stuff all over the place. I’ve never used creams, so I didn’t know what to expect. Opening the packet was easy, I hate packets I can’t open, especially in the bedroom. You lose the moment if you’re fumbling.

I used a little less than a third of the packet, put some on my cock and some on my hand and started stroking. It started out as a cream which was cool because it doesn’t immediately make a mess. No drop cloth needed for this lube, it stays where you want it.

After a few minutes it melted. Its the only way to describe it. It went from cream, to, liquid butter sorta. I nearly came right then because it was a surprise and felt really great. I made it through a few videos and had a good time with this stuff.

My hands weren’t sticky, but they were moisturized. I noticed because I have rough hands from work. They never bothered me before, never took notice till now. Elbow Grease is cool a cool cream, it made my cock feel silky and helped the rough hands situation. Like my junk went to the spa.

As for my girlfriend and anal, I can see why the glbt community loves this stuff. It doesn’t leak and make a mess like regular lubes do. It stays lubricated a really long time like the silicone lubes do, but since it is oil based it was better for her and anal she feels. Her butt was literally oiled up so it didn’t sting like regular lubes do for the first minute. She felt how it “transformed” and she loved the way that felt too.

We got to try out the other formulas too; Jane said you’ll have to wait for another review day to see how we liked them though.

Conclusion:

Try Elbow Grease, just don’t use a lot of it. A little does its job. Those couple of weeks, my hands felt awesome. I think there should be hand lotions like this. I’m totally adding this to The Arsenal.

Rating:

I give this a + + + + – for an original and my first one to try. Stay tuned for more!

Nikki CoXXX Says: No Ifs, No Ands… Just Butts.

Nikki CoXXX — Mon, 05 Apr 2010 13:52:25 +0000

Received/given mind blowing oral sex? Check.

FINALLY reached the land of milk and honey? Check.

Have been in love? Check.

Participated in drunk sex, which then led to an “accidental” slippage of my ex boyfriend’s penis up my ass? Check.

Wait a minute… doesn’t that go against the code of a woman’s asshole: IT’S AN EXIT ONLY? I’m calling my lawyer! Oh, wait, I’m a 23 year old college graduate who works full time at Walgreens. Apparently, I can’t even afford batteries for my brand new vibrator, let alone a lawyer.

shake yo money maker

Gather around boys and girls, it’s time for a story that would easily make a stripper reconsider preforming “extra services” for that measley 20 bucks to help support her ten kids. (I know I am stereotyping strippers, I’m allowed to… I’ve been to more strip clubs in the past year than you have been to in your whole life. Hmm, I’ll have to save this story for another time). Let’s get back to business.

Way back in the day, when I was writing the sex column for my college news paper, a fellow staff writer shared the messy truth about what daddy’s little girl was up to while he was busy busting his ass at work so her college tuition and tanning sessions at The Tanning Loft could be paid off. “My friend was having anal sex with his girl when her dad came home.” He paused. “Her dad walked in on them, and with all of his force, pulled the boyfriend off his daughter.” With our jaws dropped to the floor, he continued. “In the process, her rectum exited… along with his penis.” While reconstructive surgery may have repaired this girl’s junk in her trunk nightmare, the image will forever be burned in my mind like a bad porno scene… a really bad one.

Speaking of porn, why has the industry that has casted Belladonna in countless videos painted this act as a Picasso? I’d hate to bust 99.9% of the male gender’s bubble, but the majority of women you date are not porn starts who like to get fucked up the ass. And honestly, everybody poops, why would you want to put it up there when there is a perfectly good hole only a few inches away?

If you haven’t guessed by now, I’m a scardie cat when it comes to anal sex. I have never, and will never be brave enough to bend over and scream, “Yes sir, may I have another?” Well, come to think of it, I guess I just told a little bit of a white lie. But on the other hand, if it’s a quick game of Peek a Boo, does it still really count?

Last year, my ex boyfriend and I took a break from reality so we could enjoy a well deserved date night. We got dressed up, went out to Manhattan for dinner that was complimented by multiple sixteen dollar martinis. We left in high spirits (read: literally wasted), and to be perfectly honest, we couldn’t wait to get home so we could fuck the shit out of each other. We barely made it home without ripping each others clothes off in the car, and before his bedroom door could close, we got to the fucking, which was amazing as always… but then then the unthinkable happened. My eyes bugged out of my head, and the world literally stopped for a quick second (and even worse, I totally sobered up). I felt like a virgin on her prom night, confused with a hint of lost self respect. My ass was violated, and you know what? It hurt… it hurt a lot.

Nikki’s Tip of The Week: As much as this experience traumatized me back then, I can sit here and giggle to myself about it now. I can also say it was one of the best sexual encounters that I have ever participated in. Whether you are having sex your fuck buddy, someone you are “exclusively dating,” or your significant other, sex has to be fun and exciting. We live in a world consumed by hectic schedules, and not having enough time in the day, that we seem to forget that missionary position IS NOT the only sex position. Call me crazy, but I am a firm believer in try everything once, and twice if you like it. (I tried it once, and it’s safe to say that I am in no rush to lube up my asshole for round two). And if you don’t want to take my advice, listen to Jay-Z, and go “On to the next one.”

Luuuuuuuuuube

JaneBlow — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 14:10:57 +0000

We will tell anyone who is looking to go to any other sex shop that one way to figure out if the person behind the counter knows their shit is to ask about Lubricant. There are other ways, but lube is a good place to start.

Lube is important, it helps things happen and is totally essential to have a good time. If your body produces enough of it, then power to ya, but some people need a little help. There are many outside forces that can screw up the chemistry in your body to make it not lubricate itself (I’m talking to the ladies right now)…. birth control messes with wetness it usually drys you up, antidepressants and anti anxiety medicines usually drops sexual desire/libido, other meds for your heart could do it too.

But its ok, sex doesn’t have to be painful – in fact, if it is, you need to fix that, and we have just the info for ya.

There are three main types of lubricant and there are some key words you need to look/ask for if you’re standing in front of a wall of it in a store. So many choices, which one to pick? We feel that picking a lubricant is sort of like one of those ‘choose your own adventure’ books – the decision you make WILL affect your sex life!

Oil Based Lubricants are usually a little difficult to come by, and could be used for sex but if you love yourself, you wont use them for sex. Guys, these are great to masturbate with. It’ll make you think you brought your cock to a spa. Try Elbow Grease. They have several formulas this is the original formula.Gay men sometimes use it for anal, but an oily greasy butt and beyond isn’t great to deal with after the act. Trust us on that. Also, NEVER use these lubricants around condoms because the condom will wear out, it will weaken, it will probably break. Oil chemically breaks down latex.

Water Based Lubricants are the every day lubricant. You can use it for everything. Oral, vaginal, anal, hand jobs, men toys… everything. They are even safe with ALL sex toy materials. We prefer ID lubricants, all of their bottles that aren’t black/green (that one is silicone based, it is called ID Millennium) are water based.

They also have a purple bottle, that formula tingles it is called ID Pleasure. Their flavored lubes taste pretty good, but we’ve had better.

Silicone Based Lubricants are special, high end, and are more expensive. There are basically two types of silicone lubricants. One is a Body Glide, it is thinner and silky. The other silicone lube is thicker and is more ‘lubey’, it has almost the same viscosity of a regular lube. Silicone stays wetter longer, but you have to use soap and water to wash it off. We recommend baby wipes. You can use it for anything involving sex, you can put it on your skin for massage, masturbate with it. DO NOT USE SILICONE LUBRICANT WITH SILICONE TOYS. Some manufacturers (like Tantus- because they use the highest grade silicone for their toys) will say that you can, but it is usually a bad idea. Just like Oil breaks down latex, silicone is a cannibal and chemically breaks down itself.

High end silicone lubricants include Eros, Pjur, and Gel Sensual (they are hypoallergenic!). Lower end silicone lubricants include Wet Platinum, ID Millennium, Climax and Gun Oil. Most lube companies make water, silicone, stimulant and flavored lubricant formulas YOU MUST READ THE BOTTLES!

But at quick glance, if the bottle is green, silver, black or brown it is usually silicone based. If it is blue it is usually a regular formula. Purple or pink usually means it tingles (by using either L’Arginine or Menthol), or is their organic/glycerin free formula. Whacky colors usually denote flavors and red/orange usually means it warms.

Beware of Anal Lubricants. I know most of you want to numb your asses so you don’t feel it. But pain is your body’s natural response to something bad. It is telling you to slow the fuck down, relax and have some patience. Beware of anything with lydocaine or benzocaine in it. IF ANAL SEX HURTS, YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG. Use a regular anal sex lubricant, they are usually just a little thicker. Your ass doesn’t lubricate itself like a vagina does, so they make the lubes thicker.

This one happens to be System Jo’s water based anal lubricant. The whole System Jo line is pretty darn good because they offer so many choices.

We hope this helped you a little bit, we could go on and on… and on about the importance or the quirks of lubricants. In other words, we are standing by waiting for questions from you!

<3 Jane

OK Guys, the Gig is UP… We’re Onto You! (Kinda NSFW)

JaneBlow — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 19:49:07 +0000

Quite frankly, I am TIRED of hearing about the “OOPS! Its in your ASS!” move. It has come up in conversations all too often this month.

You know the one!

If you don’t, here is a little reminder:

So… you’re having sex, usually doggy style, everything is great, fucking away, maybe even Long Dicking… until… you “accidentally” pull out too far from her pussy and WHAM! stick the tip of your cock (or more) in her ass… you STOP, sort of apologize… and then stay there. OR WORSE start fucking her ass even though she is all “stop stop, that hurts, wait, OMG! STOP!!”

Yeah, THAT ONE!

Don’t sooth us, don’t candy coat the pain, don’t be an insensitive idiot!

There are better ways to introduce anal sex to your girlfriend.

Have you tried asking her? Maybe talking about how turned on it makes you? Patience and lube are the two key words for this situation. You can do/get anything with a little patience and lube.

Try THESE sneaky moves first, and if she responds positively, then MAYBE you can try sticking your cock in her ass that night.

1. Go down on her, but make sure you get her in the position to make lick a little further down – go in for a quick lick, but stray down further and further – try a little analingus first.

To see a much dirtier version of this photo click on Carlo’s face… pervert.

Good response? She sqeaks, laughs, or moans a little but pushes you away? Still a better response than punching you in the face and ruining the moment. Don’t think you’ll like licking it? Try some flavored lube.

O’My Cherry Flavored Lube is a fan favorite.

2. If going down just isn’t your thing… you still need to prep the area first. A woman’s body has to be turned on to even try to THINK about anal sex most of the time. So get her into the doggy position again, and as you’re fucking, try rubbing a lubricated finger over her butt hole.

3. If she moans and shows other signs of being turned on, try slipping a finger in her ass, or a small anal safe toy.

4. If all goes well, THEN SLOWLY try your cock.
5. Recap: Work slow, patiently, talk about it, and use lubricant.

Don’t let me hear about this fuck up again!

<3 Jane

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