Posts about bend-over betty

Dear Jane: Butt Love

Posted by on 6/2/10 at 10:26 am

Dear Jane,

My gf and I are really into anal sex, we’ve got the relax part down, and there is little to no pain and we love love love it.  Our question is about lubricants.  We’ve tried oils, water based lubes, silicone based lubes, hybrid water/silicone lubricants… warming, cooling, tingling, and even a numbing agent once.

We liked different things about them all, but which one is the best and safest for butt love?

That’s What SHE Said…

Actually, you’re in luck, I can positively tell you the answer to this question. Before last week, I would be slightly unsure and give you info to the best of my knowledge and opinion. There was much speculation about the correct lubricant for anal sex because proper studies weren’t done until now.

Some sexperts said that water based is best for the body because the body breaks it down – but the glycerine would cause um, “upset stomachs”.

Same thing with oil based lubes – the GLBT community S W E A E R S by oil based for all sorts of sex toy play (especially fisting) and that same… uh… problem.

When silicone lubricants hit the xxx market, then everyone switched to proclaiming silicone was queen for the Bend-Over Betty’s.

But now we have a definitive study from The Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health to stick with!

The anal anxiety to our butt love lube deciding woes are over, the experts say that silicone lubricant is better for anal sex.  Time to put away the Crisco.

Here’s the basic information: Researchers identified the most commonly used sexual lubricants in a survey, then went and tested their effects on tissue and cells “in vitro”, i.e. in the lab. They found that most of the popular water based lubricants have so low of a PH and so much salt and/or additives in them that they’re actually toxic to rectal and cervical cells as well as to the healthy bacteria that keep a vagina clean and happy. On the other hand, silicone lubricants were found to be much safer and non-toxic in these same tests.

Keep the questions and guyqueries coming, don’t be shy!  My formspring.me account is TOTALLY anonymous – but you can also email, tweet or facebook me anything you’d like to know.

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Jane Says: Try Everything Thrice

Posted by on 4/16/10 at 1:00 pm

All too often people are off put by the FIRST time they try something new… especially in the bedroom.  There are so many variables that could make “new” go sour.  All of the mistakes, none of the research, wrong lube… you could have even been with the wrong person.  Maybe you didn’t fully believe in yourself or the technique you were using.

Try rolling the dice once, and see what happens, learn from the “mistakes” and talk about what could have been better WITH your partner. Any topic can be breached by talking about it.  Give anal a try, spank your partner, try to swallow him whole, or make her squirt.

Second time around, you’re already coming at your idea wiser, more experienced but sometimes this roll solves only half of the “did we do that right?” It is very easy to get discouraged and give up BUT!

You’ve heard the ol’ saying “Third time’s the charm…” and it totally applies to the bedroom.

I can personally say I’ve tried this technique with a few things.  Anal being one of them.  I could use any other act or kink I am into to explain this… like submission, or asphyxiation… but I think anal is something many struggle(d) with.  I was no exception.

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