Upon opening the package I cursed under my breath a little.  It was a wireless remote control bullet named Bliss.

To be honest with you, they always suck. ALWAYS.  I’ve been impressed once, but even that panty pal had its disappointments; my poor Club Vibe it is so close to being awesome but I digress.

Step 1: Read the package

Satin finish (ABS plastic with PU Cote, nylon retrieval cord), 7 functions, charging base, designed for power, unscented, waterproof  16.5 ft range, active LED light, purple… wait… charging base? Did they do away with batteries altogether?

Nope, the remote still takes that annoying 12v battery (included).  Ok, so they get points for doing away with the cell batteries, but points away for the nylon cord.

Side Note: I feel Cal Exotics has their place in the sex toy game… they’re available to the average Dick & Jane in price, and usually quality if you’re a beginner testing the waters.  Do they go medical, platinum grade silicone like we toy snobs and educators prefer? No. BUT they do use ABS plastic (like with this Couture Bliss Wireless Egg), and the newer toys are made of better materials, plus they’re moving towards rechargeable.  I applaud them as a company for starting to get away from that stinky jelly disgusting material that cheapy toys are made of.

Little steps, right?

Step 2: Test what I can at work; because I’m a slave to my job and wont be home for another 8hrs anyway, plus, I’m bored likely, so I should mess with the toy and do my research before I get it home.

It didn’t take long to charge which is good too, and it sits easily in the cradle.  I wish it had another slot to stick the remote though, they could so easily charge together.  The remote and the egg have an on/off button, that is handy to have.  I enlisted my new Stunt Cock and coworker to help me out.  We took turns with the toy in our pocket walking around the store while pressing the remote button.

My store is essentially a warehouse that we converted into an adult shop; if it was empty, you could probably tetris in 10 – 12 full sized fire trucks, and likely stack them 2 high at the lowest point. The bullet’s reach worked fine inside, even through some obstructions.   That there, is half the battle my friends.  The bullet itself is on the large size, probably because of the technology involved and it is more quiet than other wireless bullets I’ve tested.  It didn’t work if I was standing outside though.

As for the remote, it is simple to use.  Turn it on, and cycle through the 7 functions with the function button.  I wish it came with a forward/backward button though or an indicator to know what function I was on.  I hate finding the speed I like, hitting the remote by accident, and having to cycle through.  If your partner is supposed to across the way from you, you’d like to know what speed it is on without having to check in on them.  It really adds to the tease.

The following weekend I did the next logical thing I could think of with it…

Step 3 Take it out to a bar; with friends and see how the toy does on a field test.

Guess what?  The toy worked better than other remote bullets I’ve tested.  The bar wasn’t huge, but the people vs open space ratio wasn’t in favor of open space.  Certainly a challenge for any remote panty vibe.

Did I get off? No.  Was I aroused trying to keep calm with a sporadically changing vibe in my panties while most other people around me were non the wiser? Yup.  Would a fun party game include passing the remote and not telling the wearer? Double Yup.  I can also see dancing with your partner if you like to do that sort of thing, the buzz from holding your partner tight feeling the vibe could start some friskiness on the dance floor (just be sure to wear the tight undies).

In Conclusion, get the bullet it is fun.  It feels better if you tuck it into your panties rather than have it inside you (imo)… but it is a little bulky, so wear a skirt and tight panties, or boyfriend cut jeans to camouflage the bulge.  This is also not an ass toy.

Rating: +  +  +  -  -

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The first item they sent me was the Lia, out of their newer line made of pure silicone.

Facts:

• Pure Silicone
• Sensual G-spot massager.
• Soft, pliable, flexible, seamless, and unscented.
• 10 magical functions of vibration, pulsation, and escalation.
• Soft touch controls with EZ on/off.
• Silicone (massager) ABS with silver plating (ring) ABS (cap).
• 2 AA batteries.
• 6.5″x 1.25″/ 17 cm x 3 cm.

The box boasts EXTREME POWER, 10 MAGICAL FUNCTIONS, and as the trends go it is also waterproof.  On the back of the box I caught something that I LOVE in a toy, an “EZ on/off button”, when a toy is working it’s magic on me and I’ve pushed my poor pussy to it’s orgasmic limits – I cannot move the toy away from me and shut it off at the same time.  My brain stops working in conjunction with my hands and I become an oversensitive semi spastic mess.

Likes: Silicone is far better than any rubber/jelly toy, G Spot toys are made to help short fingers and pinpoint clitoral stimulation, it was very soft and the vibration was in the tip and not the base.  There ARE 10 distinct functions, and by turning on Lia it starts on the middle high steady speed which is good for people like me.  I’m not in love with most multi-speeds, just give me that one, or two that works.  Lia’s off switch was very conviently placed!

I had set up my station; porn in, lube ready, freshly charged batteries, towel under my butt … and the boyfriend comes home.  If I didn’t have the door locked, my station would have been on display to the neighbors.  The toy quickly turned off, as I scooted my panties back on and unlocked the door and moved my station to the bedroom.  It has all the fixin’s to be a good beginner toy.

Dislikes: The few times I used the toy, I couldn’t get off, it didn’t quite dig into my G Spot how I like, and it  too treble buzzy for me.  One night I was at it for about an hour. Needless to say *I* was very frustrated.  I think my decision to further test my SaSi with it the next day, was a bad decision too.

I was close at one point moving Lia in small circles around my well lubricated clit – but that I felt was cheating the design of the toy.  Although the EZ off button and controls were placed smartly to use quickly, my fingers would slip and turn Lia off accidentally.  Not fun for me.  Probably fun for someone else though.  Maybe if it had the same power their Shane’s World Hottie 6.5, Lia would have been much better for me (and it isn’t even THAT much of a jump).

Conclusion:

Cal Exotics is going in the right direction, but I’m going to pass on this one.  I do have a few clients who would enjoy the Lia and will look into the rest of the line to see what else CEN has listed.

Rating: + + – - -

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