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Posted on Nov 30, 2011 by — Dear Jane — 6 comments

Dear Jane, My BF and I Peg; we love it! But, How Do I Bring Up My Fantasy of a Threesome with a She-Male?

Dear Jane, <– Ask me anything! No, really, ANYTHING. It is totally anonymous.

My boyfriend loves the strap-on, and it gives me some great feelings of control. How do I approach him of my fantasy of him with a hot she-male (if they exist outside of porn) while he licks me?

Spareparts Joque Harness

Its cool that you brought up porn, because if you mix that with “hey, I had this dream that such and such happened, and it was arousing… I mean… if I had a real cock, that’s pretty much what we’re doing” … which could work in your situation.

But, there are people, possibly your boyfriend, who don’t follow female pegging to a she-male experience. They’ve fetishized the strap-on itself, what it is, and who exactly is wearing it.

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Posted on Apr 13, 2011 by — BDSM, Dear Jane — Comments Off

Dear Jane: I’m Not Into Whips & Chains; How Do I Tell Her?

Dear Jane, <– Don’t be shy, ask me anything, you’re completely anonymous!

What’s a nice way of telling a girl that you are not into the whips and chains stuff.

I like this question a lot.  I so often get the reverse of this question that I’m almost tired of answering it.  The reverse, if you’re wondering, are people who ask me how to tell a partner they enjoy rougher sex or play.  They enjoy being kinky and don’t know how to bring it up to their partner.

The easy answer to this question is to talk with them and say you aren’t interested, but how do you say that nicely (as in, not have them feel rejected or give the impression you’re calling them weird) without sounding like a wimp?

Thankfully, since S&M is so mainstream… thanks Rihanna for bringing it up, yet again.  She is only on the long line which includes (but isn’t limited to) Madonna, CSI, Pulp Fiction, Nine Inch Nails, Anne Rice, Nickleback, Secretary, Mr. & Mrs. Smith, Rammstein, Christina Aguilera, and even Desperate Housewives.  It isn’t like you don’t know what it is or could entail and if you like it or not.

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Posted on Jan 19, 2011 by — Dear Jane — Comments Off

Dear Jane: How Do I Deal With the Jealousy Now That I’ve Opened My Relationship?

Dear Jane, <– If you ask me a question, it could end up on this very blog, answered in full, ready to help someone else who was too shy to ask.

Hey Jane. I just opened up my relationship for the first time.  I don’t know how I feel about it.  I’m jealous, and I don’t know what to do with the residual feelings.  How do I work this out? What should I do now that its over for now?

Jealousy, the green eyed monster.

That nagging feeling someone has something you don’t.  Anger wrapped in insecurity. Fear cradled by anxiety and loneliness.

You’ve decided, or are learning what kind of player in the game of Polyamory and Swinging you are and you have had a fun time with other people.  That ‘high’ afterglow feeling from your experience is gone OR you’ve had a failed attempt and your partner is ready to try again… and quick.  You sit and think, you wonder, your mind wanders… PANG jealousy.  You’re feeling sad, panicked, snippy.  You don’t feel fulfilled, despite how euphoric you felt just the other day.

My advice?

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Posted on Jan 06, 2011 by — Dear Jane — Comments Off

Dear Jane: How Do I Communicate and Have My Sexual Needs Met?

Dear Jane, <– click here to ask me questions and be completely anonymous (if you want to).

My bf has a muuch lower sex drive than me– like once a week. It can be a problem sometimes, but we have a hard time talking about it, and I usually wind up feeling like a sex maniac (I’m an every-other-night gal). Any tips for improving the convo?

I love this question.  I’ve gotten this question, and I’ve heard this “problem”, I’ve also lived it.  It proves that women are sexual beings too.  It proves that not all men just want to hump 24/7.  It proves that you are not alone.  With communication and lube, you can accomplish anything.  (If no one has said that before, it is mine!)

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Posted on Apr 09, 2010 by — Jane Says — Comments Off

Jane Says: Is Talk Cheap?

Actions speak louder than words, but what happens when you want something and don’t know how to go about it? Or need something and don’t know how to ask?  Sexperts and experts will tell you to just ask.

Some don’t realize that is easier said than done.  Some people don’t know how to communicate.

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Posted on Aug 13, 2009 by — Coverage, Events — 5 comments

Attending a Nina Hartley Workshop !!

I was sitting at work one day, putting prices on dildos and ordering movies when the phone rang (as it does).  I knew who it was just by looking at the number; it was my favorite movie distributor Tracy Sales.  She calls me special for new releases, most of her other customers get a lousy email, needles to say Jane Blow is loved.  We do the special orders

“Yes, sure I’ll take 4 copies of Big White Asses #7, but not the Jules Jordan Semen Sippers #19.”  I like doing orders when clients are around, the funny looks are the best.  Tracy also tells me about all the porn stars coming through.  She has ties with Alexis Texas, Belladonna and Jesse Jane to name a few.  Usually my bosses wave off the store signing because we don’t have enough time to advertise and I don’t usually go because I’m working.  This time around she had a special treat for me.

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