Sexpert Jane Blow - Sex Advice & Education, Adult Toy Reviews, and more!

Hey folks, sorry about the day off yesterday.  I had some catching up to do at the porn shop after filming the Ron Jeremy commercials the day before!  Check the twitter for pics and comments, I’m putting up the “interview” soon!

Dear Jane,

What are the boundaries for rough sex?  If its stated to be open, I like to really give it to my girl; make her gag when giving head, spank, slap, anything I like.  I’ve even had girls ask to be choked.  How else can I augment my experience (and hers)?

There is a fine line between rough sex and BDSM.  If you get hard at the thought of choking your partner (after her consent of course), and watching her face get red, her eyes roll back, and her pussy soak your cock… then try using props.  Your ‘rough sex’ fetish might run deeper than you think, plus it could be fun to Master a new tool in the bedroom.

First, make sure you have a safe word.  A word that no one would usually scream out in bed – like poodle, or kumquat. The universal safe word is RED; as in STOP IMMEDIATELY.  Some scenarios where a person is gagged or tied down require a anon verbal “safe word”. I like to use is a PINCH… or shaking/dropping a small bell in my hand.  Anything that is noticeable and out of place works as a signal.  With these signals in place, you will know the boundaries quickly.  Talking, communicating about hard limits also helps.

I’d pick a partner/fuck buddy who has the routine down, and pick up a spanking toy.  Spatula, ping pong paddle, or something made for impact play from a local sex shop or online bdsm shop.  Put her over your knee, and set up an old school spanking role play; teacher & student works well.  You can also say “you aren’t good enough for my hand, you’re just a whore, now you get THIS”.  See how you like using an instrument of torture while spanking, because you already love how her ass gets red for you.

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