Sexpert Jane Blow » Sexlopedia

Sexlopedia: Queening

JaneBlow — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 15:00:40 +0000

Queening is an exaggerated version of face sitting. Face sitting, is exactly how it sounds. Oral sex as someone “sits on your face”. Queening is usually used as a BDSM term. It is a mix of face sitting + ass worshiping + a dominant woman making you service/lick/adore/get smothered in her vagina/ass.

There are pieces of furniture specifically built for queening, more often they are simply called thrones or smother boxes. Smothering is taking Queening a step further, but they often hold hands as sexual practices.

Sexlopedia: The Operator

JaneBlow — Tue, 03 May 2011 16:00:34 +0000

Here is another one brought to you by my boss. Of course this is one of those “spoke of, but not highly recommended to do” sex moves. If you do, please tell us about it – if you don’t, thanks.

To accomplish The Operator you have to call your partner’s parent with their own phone while you’re having sex with them… then hand over the phone so they talk. You’re connecting the call, thus making you The Operator.

Please hold while I connect your call — Beware, although this is a dick move, “something a guy would do”… traditionally most operators were women – Thank you, and have a good day!

Sexlopedia: A DImWit

JaneBlow — Tue, 28 Sep 2010 15:55:52 +0000

Brad Pitt, David Beckham, Patrick Dempsey, Will Smith…

Hugh Jackman, Ryan Phillipe, Johnny Depp … try to find the theme.

Hot men.

Hot, very hot men.

That goes without saying, BUT, what else do they have in common?

Think about it…

If you said “children” , ding ding ding!

Like the popular MILF (Mom I’d Love to Fuck), A DImWit is a Dad I’d Mess With ;)

Enjoy the eye candy!

Who is on YOUR list?

Sexlopedia: The Z Jay

JaneBlow — Tue, 21 Sep 2010 15:56:17 +0000

If you look this one up on the vast internet, you’ll find that the main two answers to this is a bit impossible, the third is just stupid.

1. To make a sleeping person give you head, without waking them up.

2. References all the “Z” words, products and body parts necessary to get a sleeping person give you head.

3. Someone decided to rename the “Hummer” a Z Job. Lame.

I’m reclaiming this one from the stupid things it has come to mean!

Simply, this one is the head you get before bed. The good night oral sex that helps you get to sleep. They are underrated, fun, and helpful.

Take back the Z Jay with me, and preform one tonight! Don’t forget to tweet about it!

Sexlopedia: The Eiffle Tower

JaneBlow — Tue, 14 Sep 2010 15:59:48 +0000

This is another one of those jerk moves that most guys only dream about. You get 5 extra notches in your bed post if you happen to accomplish this feat.

What, did you really think I could use an ACTUAL (nsfw) picture of this move?

First you have to find a third person to fuck, which is a project in itself.

Then you have to maneuver one of you to your third person’s face for oral sex, usually its a BJ and then position the other fuck-er behind the fuck-ee for the sex while the person in the middle is on their knees.

Lastly, the two of you on the ends, have to raise your arms up and press your palms together to create the point of The Eiffel Tower. This isn’t just for a quick two handed high five either, you have to stay there for at least a minute without the middle person realizing.

Good Luck!

Sexlopedia: Wop-Wop Treatment – A Contest!

JaneBlow — Tue, 07 Sep 2010 14:51:16 +0000

This is a special kind of treatment, a guy (or someone in a strap-on) gives to their special someone who …. can’t give head, likes to be skull fucked, or if they like lots of sounds during a BJ.

The “Wop-Wop” is the sound of air being forced around while someone tries to breathe and moan around a cock being forced into their mouth and throat. Can you hear it now? That weird… wop-wop-wop-wop globby throaty sound?

Popularized and normalized by porn, it has become a sound that makes just as many people cringe as it does spooge.

I know some of you all of you know what I’m talking about, so send me a clip of your favorite (or the funniest) Wop-Wop Treatment, and maybe you’ll win the prize.

This time around I’m giving away a Topco Adam & Eve Head Gear BJ Strap! You know you want it to perfect your crazy Wop-Wop skills (hahahaha…)

• Faux leather strap with large metal grips
• Soft material won’t chafe skin
• Strap wraps around lover’s head
• Pull and release to control the depth and the pace of fellatio

This contest closes 9-12-2010 at midnight eastern time!

Email: sexpertjaneblow@gmail.com

Twitter: @sexpertjaneblow

The Wop-Wop Treatment is a brain child of Phil Unofficial and friends, Head Gear BJ Strap is courtesy of Topco!

Sexlopedia: The Rodeo

JaneBlow — Tue, 31 Aug 2010 14:23:43 +0000

The Rodeo is when you’re fucking someone in the “doggy style” position, and you say something ridiculously outlandish.

Like you…. oh, fucked their sibling last night or their best friend, or mom. Or that you have an STD (this works more if you are unprotected). As they try to get away, you hold on, like you’re riding a bucking bronco at a rodeo.

Hang on for more than 10 seconds, and you’re the winner!

I don’t recommend trying this, but if you do, please comment about your experience!

Sexlopedia: A Date With Bob

JaneBlow — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 14:32:09 +0000

I’ve been throwing this term around for a while now, and I’m surprised when people don’t know it. Especially when those people are avid masturbaters and toy buyers.

For more pics from @EdenCafe at the BlogHer event- clicky!

A “BOB” is a vibrator, if you refer to it as a “battery operated boyfriend”. Going on a date with BOB can imply a few things. Could be their current BF isn’t cutting it, they just got a new toy and set time aside specifically for masturbation or they are too shy or witty to just say “I’m going to masturbate now, see ya!”.

So, there ya have it. I’m off to masturbate now, see ya!

Sexlopedia: Ball Coozie

JaneBlow — Mon, 02 Aug 2010 17:10:12 +0000

A fellow pervert and friend of mine recently took a sexcation and brought me back a soviouneer!

He relayed a story from the MILF he was having sex with, and something she over heard her son doing with his girlfriend called a “Ball Coozie”. They had looked it up, and asked around because she was nervous and curious on what it could be. Was it an innocent sexual game, a sweater for his balls, something dangerous, a new code word for drugs?

Actually, by definition it is when a guy puts his balls in some warm milk and a the other person puts a straw in the cup to blow bubbles around his balls. The version they found was to do it in the bathtub or pool.

I guess blowing the bubbles in milk make the bubbles stronger and stay more intact than water bubbles. Also, the choice of a cup as a container rather than an entire bathtub means the bubbles stay in place rather then escape. Nice touch with warming up the milk, I can imagine cold fluids would NOT help.

I haven’t tried this one, have you? Tell me about it!

Sexlopedia: Porny Moment

JaneBlow — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 14:36:44 +0000

A Porny Moment is the opposite of a corny moment. It is when you are just being you, doing your thing, and something that could have totally started a porn or was done in a porn happens.

Thats right kiddos, sometimes dreams DO come true!

The lines you never thought would work on a woman, turns out to work. You go to her swanky home and find out she is a total knockout, awesome in bed, has a hot tub, MILF. True Story.

Waiting for the cable guy to come so you finally have internet/cable in your new apartment, and he turns out to be h – o – t! So… you fuck, and he hooks you up with stuff. True Story.

You go to a massage parlor for a legitimate back massage, and she goes for the rub-n-tug… so you take a rain check. She is excited for being respected and gives you her number… now you’re dating an insanely hot Latin woman, with great hands. True Story.

You have a crush on your friend’s girlfriend, normally you’d never go for it but you notice they are arguing about something. Curiosity gets the best of you men – and you find out they want to see who gives the better blow job. You swap, and find out she swallows. True Story.

As you can see -I’ve collected (and had plenty) Porny Moments, so stay tuned.

Do you have a Porny Moment to share?

Sexlopedia: The Dirty Pirate

JaneBlow — Mon, 21 Jun 2010 15:00:46 +0000

The next time your partner scrapes your dick with their teeth during a blow job, it is totally ok to give them The Dirty Pirate. (Translation: don’t actually do this, but if you do, tell me about it, k?)

Arrrrrrr!

To give your salty lass the dirty pirate treatment you have to bust a load in her eye after she gives you head, and then kick her in the knee/leg so she is hopping around screaming “ARRRR WHAT THE FUUCK!!!” with only one eye open.If you have any suggestions, stories of accomplishment or need something defined – speak up!

Sexlopedia: Peanut Butter Swipe

JaneBlow — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 17:10:08 +0000

This isn’t a matter of liking your peanut butter smooth or chunky… Jiff or Skippy. No no, this is a sexy move to try out if you want your partner to stick with you.

You know how you have the “in out in out,” when it comes to sex. And then you know when you reeeally get into it you move your hips differently so you get more out of sex? Yea, THAT is the Peanut Butter Swipe.

If you aren’t doing this already – try moving your hips at an angle to make your dick rub different spots inside of them. Sometimes just a slight angle will send them over the edge because she isn’t used to having that part touched as much. Don’t be lazy, give them something to brag to their friends about!

BEFORE:

AFTER:

Really get IN there, you should feel like you got an ab workout. They should feel like every inch of them was fucked good. Get a good rhythm going, hold onto their hips or the bed for better leverage for your body. Try rolling your hips, or going in at a different angle, moving their legs or hips to get every last inch of them pleased.

Ladies, you should try this too if your partner isn’t. Lean your body, rock your hips… while on top swivel your body like a belly dancer does and see what happens.

Alright, now that I’ve made peanut butter sexy – enjoy!

Sexlopedia: Cooked Cock

JaneBlow — Mon, 17 May 2010 18:52:27 +0000

Cooked Cock: When you’ve had so much hardcore marathon sexual activity, your dick is chafed.

Not only is this caused by having a lot of sex, but also having too much sex without proper lubrication. I bet she is all swollen and hurt too; next time be kind and grab a bottle of lube.

Silicone lubes last longer than water based, plus it’ll make your junk feel like you went to a spa!

Bravo man, bravo. But now what? Get some moisturizer with vitamin E, it’ll help heal your skin heal faster so you can get back in the sack.

Safe & Healthy Sex, is Better Sex.

Sexlopedia: The Gooch!

BarbiexHardcore — Mon, 10 May 2010 14:43:11 +0000

This weeks word is a bit of an anatomy lesson, but hey at least you know what and where it is!

The Gooch:(noun) [gu-ch] Also know as “The Grundle” and more scientifically The Perineum. The area of skin found on a male which can be found between the balls and anus.

Now that you have the definition you can know why this info is useful! The penis is really longer than you think! Seriously, it is! It isn’t just that fun part we see on the outside but its also deep inside as well. The erectile tissue actually goes back towards his anus. When a man gets hard that whole thing gets hard! You haven’t noticed, because you didn’t know what to feel for.

This is where it can get fun, the gooch is just as nerve packed as the rest of the shaft; possibly even more so because right behind it is the guy’s prostate. While giving a blow job what you can do to give a little more stimulation is take your knuckle and rub up against it. You have more control in that area with a knuckle instead of a finger. Now be aware not to go too far, some men might perceive it as you going to shove a finger in his bum. That is another issue in itself- but if he is uncomfortable with you being that close to his asshole then let him know you aren’t interested in getting to the fudge factory and stick to the massage. Keep giving things a try!

Happy rubbing loves!

<3Barbie

Sexlopedia: Rim Job

BarbiexHardcore — Mon, 03 May 2010 18:04:57 +0000

It sounds very mechanical but I promise you it’s as easy as 1, 2, LICK!!

This is for all you anal connoisseurs out there!

Rim Job: The act of stimulating your partner’s sphincter with your tongue is called “rimming”. May also be known as “Analingus”.

For anal to be pleasurable for both participants you have to make sure that the muscles in the anus are relaxed, and giving rim jobs is an awesome way to do such. It’s surprisingly awesome, and the tongue supplies an amount of pressure that is similar to a massage and can be very soothing.

I understand that this isn’t for everyone to try, but if you are interested in giving this a shot make sure everything is SUPER clean! Even give a flavored lube a try, there are a bunch of delicious brands and flavors.

A good way to give a quick test try Rimming: when your going down on your partner just over extend a lick down to their ass and see what they does. If they stop you play it off as a mistake and if they like it keep going! You are taking the first step on the path to get some back door loving if they are holding out on you.

Good luck and happy licking on your lovers!

<3 Barbie

Sexlopedia: Frotting

BarbiexHardcore — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 19:09:59 +0000

The Sexlopedia is here with another odd one from JAPAN?!?!?

If you remember, Japan is known for the interestingly weird stuff. This one is called Frotting!

You free internet porn lovers have definitely seen this sexual fetish. You just don’t know you have!

How to recognize Frotting: When Japanese business men take the bus home from work and they start to rub their crotch against unsuspecting people. Usually those unsuspecting (slutty) Japanese school girls, who then continue to be molested by the guy… you see the plot here.

Frot originally came as a slang term to describe 2 males have non-penetrative sex by rubbing erect penises together, but it has come a long way since then. The main attraction to this fetish is just doing something wrong. Kind of that naughty “little kid” situation; when you tell them they can’t have cookie it’s all they want! When full grown men know they can’t do sexual things to random strangers they find places and scenarios in which they can do it, without getting in trouble. I’m sure if a woman just said “hey come stand next to me in the kitchen and rub your dick on my leg while I cook” then it wouldn’t be pleasing. It’s the “wrong” aspect of it that makes it so fun. But hey, that makes everything fun really!

I don’t know how much I would suggest doing this, due to the fact that you can be arrested and spend the night in jail. Unless you try it in Japan, from all the videos I’ve seen, no one really seems to mind. Now get to rubbing!!!!

But seriously, in Japan, not America!

<3 Barbie

Sexlopedia: Felching

BarbiexHardcore — Mon, 19 Apr 2010 17:57:51 +0000

The Sexlopedia will go anywhere from “oh hey thats cool!” to “THATS GROSS” and with a touch of “THATS WHAT ITS CALLED?!” Today we venture into a lesser known sex term that some people might want to forget. This week I welcome you to the wonderful world of FELCHING!

Felching: The act of sucking semen (from ones self or another) out of an human orifice (mouth, vagina, anus). When the semen is too deep to suck out using just the mouth the aid of a straw is acceptable.

ex: I spent all night screwing that sweet ass, then I felched the cum out.

Now as it sounds terribly unhealthy its untrue, this isn’t somewhat of a spur of the moment thing. When people know felching will occur they anal douche or have an enema (enemas are a highly common practice so please don’t freak out), they also replace any lubricant with an edible or non-toxic kind. Now if someone does that to the inside imagine how pretty the outside looks, probably all cute and adorable and ready to go.

There are of course one other definition of felching, and I can’t insist this more, we DO NOT recommended this! The other form of felching, consists of sliding a small furry animal up one’s arse and letting it crawl back out. It’s not safe, and we’ve all heard of that incident that happened with the gerbil I am sure.

Although both are an uncommon (to talk about) practice so now your ahead of the game for knowing. Now go and do as Jane said and try everything thrice!!!

<3 Barbie

Sexlopedia: Figging

JaneBlow — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 19:22:44 +0000

Some of the terms in the Sexlopedia are far more fun to discuss than other ones. For these special words we’re going to make them THE WORD OF THE WEEK! Just like they do on Sesame Street… except the Sexlopedia is an Encyclopedia of sexual terms. Today’s action is for the kinky anal sex lovers out there, who want to try something new.

Figging:- Is the act of carving a ginger root into a butt plug, and using it as a toy.

The ginger root creates a crazy, intense warming and tingling sensation that is perfect for the anal adventurous.

Break out your whittlin’ knife to peel and shape your ginger root into a fun shape, just make sure you give it a good flare base because even professionals make mistakes. The people over at Kink.com had a little filming boo boo we all can learn from.

This practice stems from show horses having an annoying “fig” placed in their butts so they hold their tails high, others feel it was the Victorians who popularized the thought. During punishment of outspoken women and also kinky behind closed door practices the ginger was inserted during a canning session. Every time she clenched her ass because of the sing from the cane… it would make the ginger burning sensation re-awaken and intensify.

If you’re an anal fan, and a toy fan, this is an easy one to bring up in the bedroom – so enjoy another pervertable from your fridge’s crisper drawer.

Sexlopedia: Shrimping

BarbiexHardcore — Mon, 05 Apr 2010 19:08:13 +0000

Some of the terms in the Sexlopedia are far more fun to discuss than other ones. For these special words we’re going to make them THE WORD OF THE WEEK! Just like they do on Sesame Street… except the Sexlopedia is an Encyclopedia of sexual terms. Some of the words are our creations and some are common terminology, now you can always follow along with the lingo of the crazy nympho’s that we are! This word is for the foot fetish people out there.

Shrimping- The act of sucking on someone’s toes for sexual gratification.

This has got to be one of the most common fetishy things done in porn and the bedroom, and now you know the correct word.

Ladies, ladies, ladies… ya know how when you’re guy kisses on your neck and you get a shiver? Well let me tell you, if you let his lips explore all over your body then you will find out that you can get the shivers from TONS of places, even your toes. Do a little toe-sploration and get cooky! The more you adventure the more you learn!

For the Tip Side:

Girls- Try putting your feet in places where in the heat of the moment a guy will go “WHY NOT?!”. Lay on your back with your legs in the air, put them on his chest, and the best one of all…if a guy is gonna go south of the border for a snack then tease his neck and shoulders with your feet. Besides being fun, it is also a great excuse for a pedicure and cute nail polish!

Guys- These are your tips to get a girls taste piqued if you’re REALLY into feet. Give the top of her foot a kiss, try working your way up or down her legs so your not just shocking someone by spending all your time on their toes. Give a quick suck and keep going, but if your in the mood for a good toe suck; get into an on top position with her legs over your shoulders, as you pound away you can suck on a toe for as long as you want. Even if she isn’t into her toes being played with, no one cares what else is going on when a good pounding is happening.

At the worst, you both wont like it, notch it on the bedpost of stuff you’ve done, and leave it at that.

Sexpert Jane Blow » Sexlopedia

Sexlopedia: Queening

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