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Jane Says: Don’t Ask Me To Be On Your Show If You Are Unprofessional

I was asked to be on the Your Time With Kim (Iverson’s) radio show.  They told me the topic was Swinging, and I was excited.  They asked me to talk about jealousy, how to have that ice breaking conversation, tips, and a personal story.  I had 7 minutes, and they told me to keep it PG.  The show is syndicated in other states and I figured it could be fun.  I didn’t know if they were FOR or AGAINST swinging, and since they asked me “as a sexpert” what my thoughts were, I hoped that Kim would play a good middle person.  That she (her audience) was curious, and looking for answers.  I didn’t think I would have to say anything for or against swinging, I was just going to give facts as best as I know them from experience.

Plus, hey, as much as I like writing – it was a new medium to catch an audience with!

Educating people, open minds, shining light on a new to other people topic AND personal experience? Sign me up! Here it is, hook line and sinker.  If you’ve never tuned into the Time With Kim show, then I suggest you take the hour or so and listen to the whole thing to get to know her a little. You know me, mostly, if you’re already a follower or lurker or even a newbie.  If you want to skip ahead, go to the 55 minute mark.

————>THE TIME WITH KIM SHOW : SWINGING<———–

Alright, that’s the neutral stuff I have to say about the show, the beginning, before I was called and … questioned.  For a full out rant, rebuttal, and for sure a TL;DR post with lots of personal info in it …

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Dear Jane: How Does A Prostate Massage Work?

Dear Jane,

How does a proper prostate massage work?

The prostate is located a few inches into a man’s ass, it is easily found if he is laying on his back or side, or heck… on his knees when you place a finger inside his has and curl it towards his belly button.

He should be fairly aroused and warmed up with plenty of foreplay and rubbing his ass to “tell the body” something is going to happen to it, just like you would for a woman’s ass.  As the famous Tristan Taormino says “You can tell a lot from sticking your finger in someone’s ass,” and she is correct.  You will know immediately if you should slow down, if they are nervous and a slew of other emotions.

Your asshole doesn’t lie.

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Dear Jane: Will Anal Sex Make Me Crap the Bed?

Dear Jane,

I want to try anal, but am nervous because my husband has a lot of “girth” and it scares me.  What can I expect?  Are there any basics?  Will it make me feel as if I will crap the bed? Help.

Some of my favorite advice for anal sex, came from the Bend-Over Betty herself, Tristan Taormino.

Basics:

Anal sex for the weary is an all day process.  You’ll want to eat right that day so your body easily eliminates (you take a really good poop that day before sex).

Preparation can include:

Shaving your ass if you’re self conscious about hair, and giving yourself a cleansing enema.

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Jane Says: Try Everything Thrice

All too often people are off put by the FIRST time they try something new… especially in the bedroom.  There are so many variables that could make “new” go sour.  All of the mistakes, none of the research, wrong lube… you could have even been with the wrong person.  Maybe you didn’t fully believe in yourself or the technique you were using.

Try rolling the dice once, and see what happens, learn from the “mistakes” and talk about what could have been better WITH your partner. Any topic can be breached by talking about it.  Give anal a try, spank your partner, try to swallow him whole, or make her squirt.

Second time around, you’re already coming at your idea wiser, more experienced but sometimes this roll solves only half of the “did we do that right?” It is very easy to get discouraged and give up BUT!

You’ve heard the ol’ saying “Third time’s the charm…” and it totally applies to the bedroom.

I can personally say I’ve tried this technique with a few things.  Anal being one of them.  I could use any other act or kink I am into to explain this… like submission, or asphyxiation… but I think anal is something many struggle(d) with.  I was no exception.

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Dear Jane: Anal Plugs

Along with emails, facebook, working at a porn shop, and twitter, we all at Jane Blow use Formspring.me (FSM) to reach out to our fans and friends.  Today’s question was asked anonymously over FSM.  In the shop, my most asked questions are about anal sex and since we sell MANY toys, this one is asked fairly often.

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