Dear Jane

Dear Jane: My Friend Told Me I Can Use My Ear Wax to See if a Woman Has an STD, is That True?

Dear Jane, <– Look at the other questions people have asked, or ask one of your own. It is completely anonymous.

Ok, Truth be told, no one asked me this for real. BUT, there was a time before Google… and during that time we would ask our friends for sex advice and we weren’t completely spot on. The “fake” question proposed in this post may or may not had been given to a younger kid (let’s say somewhere in the age bracket of 9-11) from older cousins – back in the late 80’s, early 90’s when not all homes had a computer.

I don’t know the whole story, but the kid (today, retelling the story) said his cousins lied to him. But before Google was at everyone’s fingertips so easily, the cousins could have very well thought that sticking your finger in your ear, then sticking it in a vagina and if it tingled… was a sign of an STD.  Think about all the wrong info you had floating around in your head when you were a kid getting half real answers from your parents, or nonsense you overheard siblings and cousins say.

For the record, no… no you can’t tell if a woman has an STD by this method. You need to go to a clinical center for a blood test to see if you have an STD (STI).

Moral of the story? Trial and error is how many people learn how to have sex and we’ve all heard our friends/older relatives say some whacky stuff. Some of it true, most of it not.

Question authority, but more importantly, fact check before you try any of the whacky stuff you hear about.  Google is good… for finding people with more authority on a subject. Take anal sex for example, when I need to make sure any info I give to you is true, I’ll grab a book by Tristian Taormino.

It is best to check with a professional if you want any real answers about your health… not a friend, and usually not the internet (it will probably tell you you’re going to die… yes I’m looking at you WebMd-ers). Most people wait 3 days before seeking help whether it be a common cold, or a pervertable lodged in their ass… don’t do that and forget google, just seek real help.

Special thanks to Jay Miller’s Lucky Pierr, who preformed some improv last night at The Full Cup (on the last tuesdays of every month) for the inspiration for this post. PS. Non-human I’d fuck? Mystique.


Dear Jane: I’m a Straight Guy Wanting to Experiment with Anal. Is that Wrong? What’s the Best Way?

Dear Jane, <– Ask me a question, any question, and I’ll answer it! You’re totally anonymous, so don’t be shy.


Is it wrong for a straight guy wanting to experiment with anal stimualtion? And what would be the best way to do that?

Let me tell you a little story about one of your favorite Manly Men… Mr. James Bond. Actually, it is more of a statement… you see… despite all the women, Pussy Galore if you will… he was often considered Bisexual. Go ahead and google, I can wait for you to get past all the Daniel Craig stuff.  Sure it is a more Euro idea than an American one, but think about it.

If more men took a 007 standpoint, we wouldn’t be discussing if it was “normal” for you to want to explore your own body.  If James Bond, a famed man’s man can still be a man’s man while enjoying anal stimulation, so can you. There is nothing to be ashamed of. If you do it yourself, you’re exploring. If you do it with a woman, you enjoy the stimulation enough to share it with a partner. If you do it with another man, you might be queer. It depends on YOUR FEELINGS and who you’re attracted to, NOT what is being stimulated and that you enjoy the stimulation.

Common society will say it is “weird” but anyone educated even slightly in sexuality and sexual practices will shrug at you and say enjoy. They’d even tell you, like I’m going to, a few fun tips to get you started.

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Dear Jane, My BF and I Peg; we love it! But, How Do I Bring Up My Fantasy of a Threesome with a She-Male?

Dear Jane, <– Ask me anything! No, really, ANYTHING. It is totally anonymous.

My boyfriend loves the strap-on, and it gives me some great feelings of control. How do I approach him of my fantasy of him with a hot she-male (if they exist outside of porn) while he licks me?

Spareparts Joque Harness

Its cool that you brought up porn, because if you mix that with “hey, I had this dream that such and such happened, and it was arousing… I mean… if I had a real cock, that’s pretty much what we’re doing” … which could work in your situation.

But, there are people, possibly your boyfriend, who don’t follow female pegging to a she-male experience. They’ve fetishized the strap-on itself, what it is, and who exactly is wearing it.

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Dear Jane, Any Tips for BJ’s With a Condom? The Boyfriend Has Herpes.

Dear Jane, Have a question? You can ask me anything by clicking that link AND you’ll remain completely anonymous.

I’m trying to have safe Oral (the boyfriend has herpes, I dont) but no one seems to be talking about tips for sucking a guy off with a condom. Got any advice? Should I also avoid any mouth action on the balls to be safe or can I go there? He has no sores.


Your sex lives aren’t over.

Avoid skin to skin contact surrounding times of an outbreak and during outbreaks because herpes is contagious. It can be passed during any outbreak including cold sores or genital sores. It can also be passed during viral shedding.

During an outbreak: Avoid any type of oral, I’m finding it “can be passed from genital to mouth” but it isn’t common.  Wait till it passes, consider doubling up on meds (preventative) and avoid skin to skin contact.

As for BJ tips with a condom…


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Dear Jane, Being Poly Isn’t a “Phase”; How Do I Explain This to My Partner?

Dear Jane,<– You can ask me anything you want, totally anonymously, click the link!

My wife and I have been poly as long as we’ve been together. She wants us to go mono but I cant. How can I explain in a way she will understand I don’t know how to change this part of me?

You’ll have to tell her, just like that. You love her dearly, but being poly is a part of you she loved in the beginning and if she wants to be with you still, she’ll have to accept.  Just like all the things that make her, her, that you accept with the package.

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Dear Jane: I Can Last Longer In Bed After I Get A Quick Orgasm Out; Is This A Turn Off For Her?

Dear Jane, <– I answer most of the questions in my underwear… if this helps you get over the embarrassment of asking me something.  If not, asking me is totally anonymous, I have no clue who you are.


Hey I got a question , When i have sex i cum with in a minute . but i can stay hard after .. Is this a turn off for girls . Am i better off asking for a blow job and telling her to make me cum so i can last longer durning sex ? also is there something wrong with me or is it normal to cum fast?

I’m going to make a crack at bad parenting for a second, or ya know what? This could also be because you haven’t asked any guy friends. It was covered in There’s Something About Mary. But never mind that.

Ever hear the expression “Never go out with a loaded gun”?


It mean’s masturbate before you go out to meet someone.

If it makes you feel better to have her not know about the first hurdle you have to jump so you can last longer in bed, then rub one out before you get to her. Everyone’s body is different, and you’re certainly not the only guy out there who after he gets that first pop out of the way, he can last for days.  You’re normal, it is a mind over matter issue.

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Dear Jane: How Do I Tell My Girl, “I’m Bi”?

Dear Jane, <– Get your questions answered, don’t be shy!

How do I tell my girl, I am Bi?

If I was a guy (and I assume you are, because it is easier for a woman to say “hey I’m bi” to their boyfriend and have the relationship be okay) I would start with anal play with my girlfriend first.

After or If she is comfortable with HER doing it…

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Dear Jane: If I Drink More Milk, Will I Cum More?

Dear Jane <– Ask me a question, it’s totally anonymous.

So… A recently acquired friend of mine was telling me about this guy he knows (they’re in their 20’s for the record).  His friend, although college educated, didn’t quite get the mechanics of how the body breaks down the foods we eat and they had a conversation that went a little something like this:

Guy: Yo bro, I’m going to drink so much milk today, this girl better watch out later! She’s going to need goggles!!

Friend: Wait, what? Do you really think when you drink milk, it turns directly into cum?

Guy: uh…

Friend: Just because they’re both whiteish, doesn’t mean your cum is milk… HAHAHAHAHAHA

Guy: :(


If I was there, I would have told the guy if he wanted a bigger “pop shot”… to try this instead

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Dear Jane: My Squirt Smells… You Said It Isn’t Supposed To Smell?!!

Dear Jane, <– Ask me anything, and I do mean ANYTHING. Sex related questions are far more helpful though.  If you’re asking, I’m sure someone else wants to know too.

To say that I squirt when I cum is an understatement. I gush. Half the time it’s odorless, but the other half of the time the smell is really unpleasant. Do you know of anything that may cause that?


You’re right… every documentary, blog, informational site, peer review, dvd, workshop etc… in the last X years says “squirt isn’t pee and it doesn’t smell”.  But ya know what? Sometimes it does.  Here are a few reasons why it might… or how it could all be just in your head.

Don’t worry your pretty uh, faces off, just read this little rational list of what could be up.

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Dear Jane: My Partner Gets a Headache Before She Orgasms, Why?

Dear Jane, <– Click and ask me questions!

My girlfriend has started to get headache while she is about to cum. Any suggestions? No, she doesn’t get one before hand. It’s when her heart rate goes up and she gets excited.


This happens for a few reasons, let’s go through the basics.

1. Are you on vacation, is the elevation of where you are different from where you usually are?

2. Is she tired? This causes headaches.

3. Is she hungry? Low blood sugar could cause headaches.

4. Is she stressed out or nervous about something you’re doing together or life in general?

5 Allergies, Sinus?

6… Lastly, 

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