How To

Dear Jane: Any Advice on Cougars? Yes

Nope.  I’ve nothing personally.

I only see Cougars (who I differentiate from MILFs) when they come to my store to restock their sex toy pantry.  I’ve never personally hunted one or hunted with one. BUT… The 3 Stunt Cocks I asked have, and this is what they have to say.

My Infamous Pervy Friend (aka MIPF): Had this special get up he put on, which made it extremely easy for him to get all sorts of laid – whether he was going for Spring Chickens or Cougars. It is a cheat because some women want to notch their bed post with one of his kind.  To which he says, “It helps as a deal sealer, so don’t be a braggart.  Humble confidence is key when you have a cool job”.  He equates Young Drunk Party Chick Types to Cougars on the Prowl… they’re out for something.  Younger women need the alcohol and Cougars on the Prowl have a one track mind but still have their wits.

So in the end, although helpful, he doesn’t count.  Unless of course, you’re also one of those guys.  In this case, don your uniform or make sure the convo touches on what you do for a living.

Mr. Monstar: Gave me a quick guide that can be applied to most women, but he says the key to Cougars is,

“When you talk to one you have to be confident because they’re predators. You have to show them that you can handle what they have.  He says go where they are, there’s always a few hang outs/bars/locations where it is known Cougars like to use as hunting grounds.  You can’t use the bullshit you sling at younger girls, because they know the deal and heard all the bullshit before.  Usually they’re pretty honest about what they’re intentions are and it’s almost never a relationship.  In bed a Cougar will always teach you something new so take it as a learning experience too.”

He continues to say, “It is flirting… you get the point. You can bring a friend because some Cougars are in packs.  And that is basically it, you either have it, or you don’t.”

All in all, Mr. Monstar relies on confidence and the amazing game of Flirtation.

But the most revealing account, came from Stunt Cock #3 I’m Not Drunk, I’m Awesome (aka INDIA). He has infiltrated a few Cougar Dens, and just this weekend went out to test his skills for the purpose of this post.  I hope to follow his progress and report back to you.  Read what he has to say:

“Cougars: The Prey That Preys Back…”

Keep reading →

Jane Says: Don’t Believe the Hype, Tied Supine & 69ing.

I was scrolling through twitter on my phone when I came across this statement:

"Any time I see an image of someone cuffed or tied sitting spread eagle at a headboard, I think Meh. Not a useful position at all," made by @Saynine

He followed it up with, "It is sort of like 69. A lot of hype, not really useful."

I quickly agreed, and after some back and forth, I decided to write a post about it.

Think about it.  If someone is on their back (supine), on the bed like that, what do you actually have access to?  Where do you actually fit?   You have chest, face, feet, and belly.

Which I suppose is good if…

Keep reading →

Dear Jane: How To Hair Pull?

Dear Jane,

My partner really likes their hair pulled, and I think I’m good at it.  Are there other ways? Better ways? I usually just tug on their hair, nothing special.  They tell me to do it harder though, is that a good or bad thing?

oOOooh hair pulling, one of my favorites!

If your partner has long hair, you could tug from the length of their hair by making your own “Pony Tail”, or grabbing their already done pony tail.  It is the quick way to make yourself some “reigns” and tug their head around or give them a little pain with pleasure.

I’ve found it is better to get your hands in there though, deep into their hair from the scalp.  

Keep reading →

Dear Jane: Will Anal Sex Make Me Crap the Bed?

Dear Jane,

I want to try anal, but am nervous because my husband has a lot of “girth” and it scares me.  What can I expect?  Are there any basics?  Will it make me feel as if I will crap the bed? Help.

Some of my favorite advice for anal sex, came from the Bend-Over Betty herself, Tristan Taormino.


Anal sex for the weary is an all day process.  You’ll want to eat right that day so your body easily eliminates (you take a really good poop that day before sex).

Preparation can include:

Shaving your ass if you’re self conscious about hair, and giving yourself a cleansing enema.

Keep reading →

Too Many Girls Suck At Blowing

Ladies, the first ingredient to an enjoyable blowjob is YOUR  ENJOYMENT!

If you’re not into it, we won’t be!

I’m not here to give moves and tips on how to give the perfect blowjob, what do I know?  I’ve never given one.  If you want tricks ask Jane or Barbie.  I’m here to tell you that technique aside, if the girl is truly into sucking that cock, the man’s gonna love it.  Nothing is more arousing than hearing your girl moaning louder than you while she’s got your dick in her mouth, THAT’S HOT!

Most guys have had sex with a girl that just laid there taking it like a plastic fuck doll.  But what about the girls that moan and tell you how good you’re giving it to her and how much she’s loving it?  These two types of girls for the most part are physically doing the same thing: laying there while the guy does all the work.  But the second type is engaging the guy emotionally and mentally which stimulates arousal and heightens the pleasure of the entire act.  Sex isn’t all about how big, how deep, how long, or how hard, and neither is giving a blowjob.

Keep reading →

Dear Jane: My Partner Doesn’t like Anal Sex / Oral Sex… But I Love it.

Dear Jane,

I started dating a girl who said ‘Nothing in the butt, ever.  It’s gross.’  How can I change her mind/trick her?


I love eating pussy.  But my girlfriend said ‘no’.  Summat about a bad experience with another guy and she doesn’t wanna talk about it.  Any idea why she’s being such a bitch?

Are very related, you are basically asking for something you partner is set against for their own personal reasons, and both can be had with time and patience on your side.

Anal sex is mind over matter, she feels it is gross.  Some people NEVER get over this mindset, others get curious enough to give it a try.  You need to hope she is the later of the two.  Oral sex could be the same way, in fact, many sexual acts are the same way.  Without a “want” to do something, people create reasons NOT to do something.  It is the classic trying to get kids to eat their vegetables situation.

With bad experiences, and dead set against mindsets you need to create a positive association to trick their brains (what, did you think I was going to say “roofie them”?).

How?  Be hungry for your partner, have sex with them like if you don’t, you’ll die.  Hold them to you, grab their ass while you’re fucking their brains out.  Kiss them like they’ve never been kissed before… and when their eyes are rolling back in their heads, their hair is a mess, and you think they’ll agree to do just about anything… let your hands stray to your desired area of conquest.  If you know your partner’s body like you should, and made them cum hard a few times, you’ll be surprised what they’ll let you get away with.


Keep reading →

How To: Set The Mood For Women

Movies show lit candles, rose petals and slow music, there is some truth here but it wont work for everyone. If you want to set the mood for some good loving and I am here to explain how.

I am aware the Friday is usually a fun fact and a Jane Says, but not a lot of people ask me questions on my formspring. In fact the last question I received was “how do you eat a reese’s peanut butter cup?”  Not exactly something that is important enough (or erotic enough) to share, so lucky for you I realized that men pretty much suck at setting a mood.  I understand that you can only think with one head at a time and all you need is a low cut shirt to get you going, but women tend to be more complex.

The one thing you truly need to understand about women is that we need to be mentally stimulated first before you can do anything else.  Setting the mood isn’t always necessarily the atmosphere or the room, it starts with the attitude.  The first tip on setting the mood is to prove you’re sexually confident by telling (sending your girl texts etc) telling her exactly what you’d like to do to her. Paint her a picture with your words because women start to make a nice mental image of those pictures and then before we know it we’re wet for you!

Keep reading →

Valentine’s Day Guide

To start, let me get this out of the way. Don’t be a shut in, don’t drink alone, get out and do something that inspires you.  If you’re Anti-Vday, don’t be an asshole to people who are actually enjoying the day.  There is more to life than avoiding the radio while dateless and being cynical after a break up.  Try some stuff on this list!

1. Forget going OUT to eat, stay in and cook.  If you feel you can’t, get recipes online and try them out instead.  Anyone can follow directions.  Don’t make the typical aphrodisiacs either, go for anti-sex foods and make a mess! Try making ribs, crabs, or tacos! Anything you can eat with your hands.  Chocolate is still good though, chocolate is always allowed.

Keep reading →

Splish, Splash, Waterbation!

I’m fascinated with peoples’ “first” stories.  The first erection, early exploration, evolution of masturbation, wet dreams… “games” we played as kids that involved being naked and remembering the VERY moment it was put into our minds that there was something “wrong” about it.

Early memories are pure, a special time of self exploration, and often very similar but aren’t widely discussed because “sex is dirty” and are most treasured. (Hell, I thought I INVENTED masturbation and didn’t tell ANYONE …till Jr. High). Following closely behind many “first” recollections is shame from parents who bust in on the moment and freak out.  Very uncool in my opinion.  Masturbation is safe and beneficial in multiple ways and shouldn’t be shunned EVER.  I’m not going to get all Freud on your asses, but some of your ideas about masturbation being “wrong” or “dirty” are because of your parents (and religion)… and your parents were wrong to do that to you.  But this is getting to be a whole other post… oops. /tangent.

Keep reading →

Faking It.



Since the Jane Blow ladies are torn on the issue, we’re going to tell both sides of the story and let you decide what to do when you just can’t take the bad lay anymore.  We agree on many things, this is one of the few we sit on opposite sides of the fence on.

Keep reading →