Momentum: Interview with Brian Gross “The Porn Publicist”.

At the Momentum Conference, I had a difficult time picking which sessions to sit in on. Do I go and sit in on Audiacia Ray or Charlie Glickman? Do I sit in with DangerousLilly or Maggie Mayhem? Hear a trailblazer speak on topics I’m familiar with to see what they’re saying or take sessions that will help me grow? What about workshops FOR workshops? A little Inception-y, I know. One of the sessions I sat in on was called “Sex and the Media: Who Wins?” I’m looking to break into other media and become a public face, I understand hardships the adult industry has with media… so I gave this one a shot.

The speaker’s name is Brian Gross and he is often pigeon-holed as The Porn Publicist. He has worked with Def American Recordings and Warner Brothers Records before he took “the plunge into adult” with Vivid’s Steven Hersh (politely name dropping clients such as Lars Ulrich and Gene Simmons to James Deen, Jenna Haze and Sasha Grey).

He said many things concerning the love/hate relationship between the adult industry and media (radio, tv, internet and print) while weaving on and off topic shared his facts and views through client relationships on how the media loves to use sexuality to sell publications/bring ratings – but at what cost? Of course this sparked a few questions to which I hoped Brian would have the time for an interview – and he did!

After a few txts on where and when, we decided on a late night chat over a drink (he Jameson, I Jack- of course) and this is how it went down. Forgive me for getting link happy, we zipped past some names because we know the industry’s characters so I linked for those of you who don’t know who we’re talking about.

Jane Blow: We know media won’t paint an accurate picture for the adult film industry – but for the select sex educators it welcomes (Laura Berman on Oprah for example)- Who have you found to be the most “oh no way, not at all” on a higher level but on a lower level sneak you in the back? As we know that larger companies own smaller ones we may not be familiar with.

Brian Gross: I don’t have much of this specific experience and I’ll tell you why. Producers don’t have that much time to be that all ‘over the place’ for lack of a better term. An example- the producer from Entertainment Tonight will say “I want to do a story on this actor or this actress, can we make it happen?” It’s a yes or no. Same with ABC Nightline. When specific television programs with an interest in sexuality say “We want to do this…” it opens up the negotiation. There are certain topics certainly that are a little more taboo which are harder to get an outlet to promote unless they’re broken through the news. Then they become a news story. It’s really difficult because there is a differentiation between what is a breaking news story and what we are trying to plan as a topic of conversation, as an editorial.

Every major television outlet, whether is cable news or ABC, NBC etc they’ve all covered some kind of sexuality in some way. So, if it fits, and it works, and its news worthy, then they’ll do something.


JB: Speaking of Niteline since it’s one of the recent things I know about because of the James Deen interview- Did Nightline contact you or your people because of this Tumblr phenomenon or how exactly did that happen?

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Jane Says: What Does Sex Feel Like For A Man?

Warning: It’s a little long, which men will like to know… but you’re in for a surprise ladies.

After I wrote What Sex Feels Like For Me to the best of my ability, it made me wonder what it feels like for a man.  Not just surface thoughts, so I asked my stunt cocks, my perverts, friends and any other like minded individual with a brain and a cock to describe it to me.

I said to describe sex, as vivid as they can and to keep virgins, women, the lesser experienced and the curious in mind.

I sent out txts, emails, facebook messages and waited… and waited… and waited.  Men think about sex more times a day than women do reportedly.  These guys in particular love sex, chat sex with me often and we see eye to eye on many things about sex.  I was excited to get so many potentially superb opinions.

What actually happened shouldn’t have shocked me.  After all, you read all those Men vs Woman comparison jokes where the women have a paragraph of text, and the man’s side has a sentence.

What you ask? Nearly nothing.  I figured after all the time these men talk sex, want sex, brag, and look for sex, that they would have something better to say than “I don’t know, good?” and the ever lame “Like warm apple pie”.  It wasn’t an easy task for me to come up with what I wrote, and I had confidence in my men.

Then I got Guy 1’s response and I understood why it was so difficult for them to put sex into words.

I’ve been back and forth with sharing it at all with you, but it sort of just makes me a little sad for men. My Infamous Pervy Friend redeemed what Guy 1 said a little, but I’m still not convinced. This is what two of them men said, verbatim.

Without further adieu…

Guy 1:

You want to know what it feels like? Alright, I’ll play….

Let’s start with a comparison. Ever have a surgical procedure done while you are awake? Something like stitches? Or anything that requires local anesthetic?
You can’t feel the big things – the cutting for instance. You can only feel the small things, the Dr. pinching, or shifting you, or something like that.

That’s sort of the general idea of where my comparison goes.

Imagine for a minute that you have a sex organ that is on the OUTSIDE.  Up to this point it has spent almost 28 years rubbing against the inside of [my] jeans, being whipped out in all kinds of environments (cold, hot, humid, dark, light etc). You’ve got it caught in things, you’ve scratched it, cut it, bent it. You’ve basically dragged it through the gutter stuck it in places you would prefer your wife never know about AND beat the living shit out of it – sometimes up to 5 times a day!

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Jane Says: Don’t Ask Me To Be On Your Show If You Are Unprofessional

I was asked to be on the Your Time With Kim (Iverson’s) radio show.  They told me the topic was Swinging, and I was excited.  They asked me to talk about jealousy, how to have that ice breaking conversation, tips, and a personal story.  I had 7 minutes, and they told me to keep it PG.  The show is syndicated in other states and I figured it could be fun.  I didn’t know if they were FOR or AGAINST swinging, and since they asked me “as a sexpert” what my thoughts were, I hoped that Kim would play a good middle person.  That she (her audience) was curious, and looking for answers.  I didn’t think I would have to say anything for or against swinging, I was just going to give facts as best as I know them from experience.

Plus, hey, as much as I like writing – it was a new medium to catch an audience with!

Educating people, open minds, shining light on a new to other people topic AND personal experience? Sign me up! Here it is, hook line and sinker.  If you’ve never tuned into the Time With Kim show, then I suggest you take the hour or so and listen to the whole thing to get to know her a little. You know me, mostly, if you’re already a follower or lurker or even a newbie.  If you want to skip ahead, go to the 55 minute mark.


Alright, that’s the neutral stuff I have to say about the show, the beginning, before I was called and … questioned.  For a full out rant, rebuttal, and for sure a TL;DR post with lots of personal info in it …

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Hey Jane Blowites, I’m Going to be on the Radio Tonight!

Hey guys,

Just wanted to tell you about tonight. I’ll be on Your Time with Kim Iversen (YTWK) tonight at 11pm Eastern to discuss the super touchy (and fun!) topic of swinging.

YTWK is syndicated in the following cities, Portland (KRSK), Denver (KALC), Austin (KAMX), Wichita (KFBZ), Memphis (WMC), Milwaukee (WMYX), Indianapolis (WZPL), Buffalo (WTSS), and Norfolk (WPTE) and is based out in Austin, Texas.

So be sure to listen to your favorite Sexpert LIVE on the air tonight, or you could just wait till we post the audio here.