Posts about BDSM

Sexlopedia: Queening

 

Queening is an exaggerated version of face sitting. Face sitting, is exactly how it sounds.  Oral sex as someone “sits on your face”.  Queening is usually used as a BDSM term.  It is a mix of face sitting + ass worshiping + a dominant woman making you service/lick/adore/get smothered in her vagina/ass.

There are pieces of furniture specifically built for queening, more often they are simply called thrones or smother boxes.  Smothering is taking Queening a step further, but they often hold hands as sexual practices.

Dear Jane: Where Do I Get Pony Play Gear?

Dear Jane, <— Ask me a question, as you can see, anything goes!

My girlfriend wants a pony–me! However, we can’t seem to find any places online that is a good store for pony play gear. Do you have any suggestions?

There are a few places I can send you to that I know of and some tips on how to get the effects and stick to a budget.  Unfortunately _______ play fetishists need deep pockets depending on how real they want to get.  Doesn’t matter which, but the bigger the animal and the more real you want to get, the more money it is going to cost.

BUT the gear is beautiful, and crafted well, and really helps you both get into the head space required to have a good time with it.  You’ll feel more proud as a pony in good gear too.

I’m not a pony player, but I did a pony girl photo set once (and I’m a gear slut – the more, the better) and there was SO MUCH gear involved. I had a really great time! /memories.

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Erotica: #FuckToyFriday A Lesson in Shibari and Old Guard

“You have to start at the bottom, not the other way around” she told you in conversation, and you’ve found yourself intrigued.  It stuck in your head, why not try leaning BDSM skills from the ground up, it doesn’t make you any less of a man…right?

You’re at Her doorstep, how bad could it be? You straighten your clothes, a deep breath and ring the bell; first day of school.  “C’mon in, how’re you? Ready to play with some rope today? Then learn how to adjust a bondage spanking horse?”  She seems nice… in a predator posing as a houseplant kind of way.

She gets you comfortable, you’re learning different knots and wrap styles, you’re practicing on her after she ties you.  First was a simple rope cuff on you a few times, and she shows you how to knot without being too tight; you flex in the bonds, feels weird.  She made two loops for your wrists, wrapped them up your wrists, and the loose ends were woven back through to secure them.  She tells you the importance of wrapping the center to make the bond so the subbie can’t get out.

You try to do the same, but it looks sloppy, she laughs and instructs by “chinning” at you to move stuff because she is bound.  At least the second try looked better than the first.  You don’t like the laughing too much, you’re having a good time but you can tell that little laugh could turn mocking. But you brush it off, thinking of how you could turn the tables on her… though She could probably hang you faster & tighter, so you go back to learning mode; over, under, tug, tighten… and ankle cuff wrap is much like the wrists.  At least she let me tie myself, something about how trustworthy She is and how quick She is a little unsetteling.  Now a chest harness.

She gets a mirror for this one, this way you can see behind you as she moves fluidly, practiced, and disciplined around you.  The rope is tight, heavy, compressing but beautiful, you admit, she has skills to be learned.  She first put the rope over your shoulders like a huge chain necklace and crossed the front so the loop was in the middle of your body. Walking around you she takes the ends and crosses them and pulls them through the front so that the harness is “on” you.  She then weaves the rope to go over these same lines, making twists and knots to make it attractive.  It seems to take forever and minutes at the same time.  You love to watch her work, but you’re still not comfortable being bound, it smells weird, and why is it so tight? Wait did she go over or under that last knot?

As if on cue, “Pay attention, I’m only showing you twice, then you have to show me what you learned…” Fuuuck, you decide under, what is she going to do anyway?

She undoes the chest harness, your turn. “Don’t fuck up, I might make you pay for it so you’ll remember mistakes” she laughs.  Oh, how, tie my thumbs together? Sure… Miss. You laugh inwardly, and hope she isn’t serious, how could you take her serious at her height, she is toss-able, how is she Dom? excuse you, Domme.

You’ve succeeded? You’re not sure, harness is on, it is sloppy, but she doesn’t approve or disapprove, just says “Do it again.”  Well… that was cold, you clearly don’t like it and she knows it.  On it goes, 3 more different wraps, corset bondage, and a half suspension. Back and forth, just a little laugh and “Do it again”.  Then she has you try all the knots on her from the beginning wrist cuff.  The rope feels good in your hands, and you surely have more confidence than when you first walked in.

You’re both glad and frustrated, “Well, you did ok for a beginner, but you often crossed over instead of under, and you must learn to work neater.  Shibari isn’t just bondage, it should be beautiful.  The time you spend getting them IN the bondage should add to your scene and help take your subbie into sub space.  Next on agenda is the bondage spanking horse.  It takes quite a bit of set up, but once a subbie is in it, there’s no squirming away from manipulations.”

Oh good! Finally, a machine to work, Men and machines always go together, you follow her into another room.

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Dear Jane: I’m Not Into Whips & Chains; How Do I Tell Her?

Dear Jane, <– Don’t be shy, ask me anything, you’re completely anonymous!

What’s a nice way of telling a girl that you are not into the whips and chains stuff.

I like this question a lot.  I so often get the reverse of this question that I’m almost tired of answering it.  The reverse, if you’re wondering, are people who ask me how to tell a partner they enjoy rougher sex or play.  They enjoy being kinky and don’t know how to bring it up to their partner.

The easy answer to this question is to talk with them and say you aren’t interested, but how do you say that nicely (as in, not have them feel rejected or give the impression you’re calling them weird) without sounding like a wimp?

Thankfully, since S&M is so mainstream… thanks Rihanna for bringing it up, yet again.  She is only on the long line which includes (but isn’t limited to) Madonna, CSI, Pulp Fiction, Nine Inch Nails, Anne Rice, Nickleback, Secretary, Mr. & Mrs. Smith, Rammstein, Christina Aguilera, and even Desperate Housewives.  It isn’t like you don’t know what it is or could entail and if you like it or not.

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Dear Jane: How Do I Tell My Partner I Want to Be Their Slave?

Dear Jane, <– Ask me a question, I’ll answer it.  FS is an anonymous site that allows you to ask anything you’d like, and have no way to know it was you.

This pic will make sense after the cut, promise.

Jane, how do I subtly tell my boyfriend I want to be treated like a slave? Not totally, but it’s just a hidden fantasy of mine. You know, to be dominated, told what to do or else face punishment. Though it’s my first time wanting this kinda thing…

When I read this, I see key words which trigger other words in my mind.

Slave → Ownership

Dominated → Control

Or Else → Consequences
When you break down what you want into less “alarming” words, or words that aren’t so sexual, it might make it easier for you to express what you want.  I wish I knew if your boyfriend was more vanilla than you are.  Or you just don’t know how to bring up something new because you’re embarrassed.

IF he is more vanilla than you are THEN →

(might be a NSFW pic after the cut)

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Erotica: A Sextual Fantasy – Part II

As Ive done once before, the following erotica will be the submission of a fan/follower/friend…

I hope you enjoy his work, because I know I did!

Feel free to offer feedback below or to follow him on Twitter @itsgriffsi

Continued From: Erotica: A Sexual Fantasy – Part I

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Erotica: A Sextual Fantasy – Part I

As Ive done once before, the following erotica will be the submission of a fan/follower/friend…

I hope you enjoy his work, because I know I did!

Feel free to offer feedback below or to follow him on Twitter @itsgriffsi

Keep reading →

I Like a Good Flogging, What’s Wrong With Me?

Hey there everyone out in blogger land, I’m Dr.Slick. I joined the Jane Blow all star team of writers after reading and becoming a fan of not only the writing but the idea behind a collaborative effort of sex positive people opening up and answering questions for those in search of kinky enlightenment. I’m not really a doctor, yet. I’m a second year medical student from NYC. I encourage anyone who has a medically related question about sex to send me an email or twitter comment and I’ll do my best to answer it here.

Now for my first topic I decided to pick a common question, but one not many people have the courage to ask their doctor due to shame and embarrassment. “Does being a sadist or masochist mean something is mentally wrong with me?”

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Jane Says: Don’t Believe the Hype, Tied Supine & 69ing.

I was scrolling through twitter on my phone when I came across this statement:

"Any time I see an image of someone cuffed or tied sitting spread eagle at a headboard, I think Meh. Not a useful position at all," made by @Saynine

He followed it up with, "It is sort of like 69. A lot of hype, not really useful."

I quickly agreed, and after some back and forth, I decided to write a post about it.

Think about it.  If someone is on their back (supine), on the bed like that, what do you actually have access to?  Where do you actually fit?   You have chest, face, feet, and belly.

Which I suppose is good if…

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Sexlopedia: Leather Bottom

I don’t know how popular this term is.  I’ll mention it in BDSM circles and I’ll get a funny look from both the younger and the older crowd.  The term is pretty self explaintory, so people who haven’t heard it get the meaning quickly especially in the context.  I am 100% sure I didn’t make up the term, and I don’t think it is a “Vermont thing” BUT it is a term related to Impact Play… spankings, floggings, etc.  Usually the older crowd, if they aren’t novices, get it immediately.  Maybe it is archaic like Old Guard is? Who knows. I don’t.

Ass pic borrowed from www.MyBigJunk.com – No asses were hurt in the writing of this post (unfortunately).

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