Posts about oral sex

Erotica: The Winter Classic: A Pre-Game Warm Up

We were two ranger fans in a sea of orange, but there was no way either of us could pass up the opportunity to go such a historic event. The stadium was packed! Over 45 thousand people, over 2.5 times as many as at any game we had been to at Madison Square Garden, but this was the Winter Classic. The energy was titillating, and the excitement had me wet since we left the house to make the drive down. Of course your wandering hand between my legs hadn’t made the ride any easier.

We made sure to get to our seats early, before the stadium became swamped with Flyers fans, but it was cold, and I needed to warm up…

You walked behind me as we left our seats to get some hot chocolate, I’m not sure what you saw through all of the layers I had on, but you had always liked me in my NYR jersey. When we got downstairs I felt you grab my wrist turn me around abruptly, and pull me close for an unexpected kiss. It was sweet, and as soon as I felt your lips press against mine, and the firmness of your cock behind your jeans, I was soaked all over again. I quickly forgot about the hot chocolate and pulled us into an open doorway.

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Sexlopedia: Queening

 

Queening is an exaggerated version of face sitting. Face sitting, is exactly how it sounds.  Oral sex as someone “sits on your face”.  Queening is usually used as a BDSM term.  It is a mix of face sitting + ass worshiping + a dominant woman making you service/lick/adore/get smothered in her vagina/ass.

There are pieces of furniture specifically built for queening, more often they are simply called thrones or smother boxes.  Smothering is taking Queening a step further, but they often hold hands as sexual practices.

Erotica: Suit & Tie Guy vs. Construction Worker – Part II

“Once we recomposed ourselves we stepped out only to find ourselves in a crowd of people. The party had moved into this room, and as everyone politely made conversation amongst themselves, I couldn’t help but wonder, had they heard my ecstasy?”

Continued From: Erotica: Construction Worker vs. Suit & Tie Guy – Part I

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Sexlopedia: The Z Jay

If you look this one up on the vast internet, you’ll find that the main two answers to this is a bit impossible, the third is just stupid.

1.  To make a sleeping person give you head, without waking them up.

2. References all the “Z” words, products and body parts necessary to get a sleeping person give you head.

3. Someone decided to rename the “Hummer” a Z Job.  Lame.

I’m reclaiming this one from the stupid things it has come to mean!

Simply, this one is the head you get before bed.  The good night oral sex that helps you get to sleep.  They are underrated, fun, and helpful.

Take back the Z Jay with me, and preform one tonight!  Don’t forget to tweet about it!

Erotica: Jane’s First Time…RRRip II

Continued from Jane’s First Time… RRRip.

Danny and Samantha finally fell asleep.  Finally fell asleep.  Jane at this point was almost more impatient to lose her virginity than curious.  She stood up, taking the blanket as a shield, to reach for the condoms that were mocking her.  Jane Brushed the dust off the top and quietly opened the box to take a condom out.  She sits back down, letting the blanket fall back over her and Ivan and pulls out the condoms.

“Hm, I didn’t know they were in a strip like this,” Ivan says quietly taking them from Jane.  He carefully pulls them apart so to take just one.  Flipping it in his fingers, and placing it in his big palm he looks at Jane, smiles, and puts it back in the box.  “You waited this whole time to open the box?” asked Jane.

“Yeah, I had no reason to open the box, so why would I?”

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Erotica: Jane’s First Time… RRRip.

Jane couldn’t stop thinking of what her boyfriend’s mother said, it hounded her for over a month.  Jane was already curious enough about sex, and just didn’t need the temptation.  She knew if one of the pieces to the puzzle were missing, she couldn’t complete the picture.

That is why she never bought condoms.

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Dear Jane: What is the Best Way to Eat Pussy?

Dear Jane,

What is the best way to eat pussy?

Since every woman is different, the BEST tips I can give you are the 10 basic norms that wont vary too much from woman to woman.

1.  Talk about it.  Ask her how she likes it, tell her you want to give her the best oral orgasms ever, at the very least she can give you hints while you’re going down on her.  A simple “yes.. yes.. there… like that” would help you greatly.

2.  Frequency and timing– if you find a speed, and movement that is working try not to vary or change it up – we like consistency just like you do.  Don’t half ass going down either, we need commitment- you need to work through jaw ache just like we do.

3.  Watch and listen – if your lady isn’t vocal or telling you exactly what to do – you will have to watch her body, and listen to her breathing and moans.  If her skin is getting flushed, her body is getting hot, nipples are hard, and is giving you a lot of “mmmmss” then keep going.  Subconsciously she could be giving you hints and encouragement.  If this isn’t working, hold her hand (she might squeeze it for when you’re in a good spot or she is close), or place your hand on her panty line– her muscles will flex as a reflex to good stimulation.

4.  Women who fake it are dumb and mean.  They are cheating themselves, and are usually blaming you for not being a mind reader.  The body never lies though.  So watch for sweat, muscles tightening etc…

5.  Most women don’t like a pool of spit under their butts, swallowing often helps keep the area lubricated but not sopping wet and uncomfortable – besides – who wants to sleep in the wet spot?

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Too Many Girls Suck At Blowing

Ladies, the first ingredient to an enjoyable blowjob is YOUR  ENJOYMENT!

If you’re not into it, we won’t be!

I’m not here to give moves and tips on how to give the perfect blowjob, what do I know?  I’ve never given one.  If you want tricks ask Jane or Barbie.  I’m here to tell you that technique aside, if the girl is truly into sucking that cock, the man’s gonna love it.  Nothing is more arousing than hearing your girl moaning louder than you while she’s got your dick in her mouth, THAT’S HOT!

Most guys have had sex with a girl that just laid there taking it like a plastic fuck doll.  But what about the girls that moan and tell you how good you’re giving it to her and how much she’s loving it?  These two types of girls for the most part are physically doing the same thing: laying there while the guy does all the work.  But the second type is engaging the guy emotionally and mentally which stimulates arousal and heightens the pleasure of the entire act.  Sex isn’t all about how big, how deep, how long, or how hard, and neither is giving a blowjob.

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Dear Jane: My Partner Doesn’t like Anal Sex / Oral Sex… But I Love it.

Dear Jane,

I started dating a girl who said ‘Nothing in the butt, ever.  It’s gross.’  How can I change her mind/trick her?

and

I love eating pussy.  But my girlfriend said ‘no’.  Summat about a bad experience with another guy and she doesn’t wanna talk about it.  Any idea why she’s being such a bitch?

Are very related, you are basically asking for something you partner is set against for their own personal reasons, and both can be had with time and patience on your side.

Anal sex is mind over matter, she feels it is gross.  Some people NEVER get over this mindset, others get curious enough to give it a try.  You need to hope she is the later of the two.  Oral sex could be the same way, in fact, many sexual acts are the same way.  Without a “want” to do something, people create reasons NOT to do something.  It is the classic trying to get kids to eat their vegetables situation.

With bad experiences, and dead set against mindsets you need to create a positive association to trick their brains (what, did you think I was going to say “roofie them”?).

How?  Be hungry for your partner, have sex with them like if you don’t, you’ll die.  Hold them to you, grab their ass while you’re fucking their brains out.  Kiss them like they’ve never been kissed before… and when their eyes are rolling back in their heads, their hair is a mess, and you think they’ll agree to do just about anything… let your hands stray to your desired area of conquest.  If you know your partner’s body like you should, and made them cum hard a few times, you’ll be surprised what they’ll let you get away with.

Tips…

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Review: Goodhead (mint)

Goodhead is sold at every xxx store I’ve ever been in, and has been featured at every home toy party I have ever been to (or done myself) with good reason!  It can easily be said that it is the number one selling flavored oral sex gel.  Doc Johnson is considered one of the founding adult novelty companies and has lasted the test of time, due to standing on the backs of products like this one.

Facts:

  • Comes in 5 flavors: Mint, Cinnamon, Cherry, Strawberry and Passion Fruit.
  • Mint has an extra “cooling” effect because of the Menthol ingredient in it.
  • Cinnamon has an extra “warming” effect.
  • Ingredients (mint): DI Water, Clycerin, Algin, Acesulfame K, Artifical Flavor, Propylene Glycol, Diazolidinyl Urea, Methylparaben, Propylparaben, FD&C Blue #1, FD&C Yellow #5.
  • Gently numbs your throat to reduce gag reflex.
  • Wont break your bank in price, most places sell this product for under $15 for a 4oz tube.
  • Every 4oz bottle comes with a fun ‘oral sex’ information scroll that includes fun facts about “gobbling”.

I’ve tried the other flavors of Goodhead, and mint is my favorite.  The others are fruity and fun, the cinnamon even warms a little, but I like the extra cooling effect I get from using the mint flavor.

It is sort of like that winterfresh mint toothpaste feeling; even though I’m giving head, it smells like I’ve brushed my teeth.  I personally have no problem with the way my partner tastes, but if on occasion you get someone with funky spunk Goodhead can help mask that grossness.

When showing people this product, occasionally I’ll meet a person who says it tastes like medicine (usually I get this reaction to cherry) but that person is 1 out of 100, most others feel it tastes like Jell-O.

Fun:

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