Posts about Sexlopedia

Sexlopedia: Queening

 

Queening is an exaggerated version of face sitting. Face sitting, is exactly how it sounds.  Oral sex as someone “sits on your face”.  Queening is usually used as a BDSM term.  It is a mix of face sitting + ass worshiping + a dominant woman making you service/lick/adore/get smothered in her vagina/ass.

There are pieces of furniture specifically built for queening, more often they are simply called thrones or smother boxes.  Smothering is taking Queening a step further, but they often hold hands as sexual practices.

Sexlopedia: The Operator

Here is another one brought to you by my boss.  Of course this is one of those “spoke of, but not highly recommended to do” sex moves.  If you do, please tell us about it – if you don’t, thanks.

To accomplish The Operator you have to call your partner’s parent with their own phone while you’re having sex with them… then hand over the phone so they talk.  You’re connecting the call, thus making you The Operator.

Please hold while I connect your call — Beware, although this is a dick move, “something a guy would do”… traditionally most operators were women —  Thank you, and have a good day!

Sexlopedia: A DImWit

Brad Pitt, David Beckham, Patrick Dempsey, Will Smith…

Hugh Jackman, Ryan Phillipe, Johnny Depp … try to find the theme.

Hot men.

Hot, very hot men.

That goes without saying, BUT, what else do they have in common?

Think about it…

If you said “children” , ding ding ding!

Like the popular MILF (Mom I’d Love to Fuck), A DImWit is a Dad I’d Mess With ;)

Enjoy the eye candy!

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Sexlopedia: The Z Jay

If you look this one up on the vast internet, you’ll find that the main two answers to this is a bit impossible, the third is just stupid.

1.  To make a sleeping person give you head, without waking them up.

2. References all the “Z” words, products and body parts necessary to get a sleeping person give you head.

3. Someone decided to rename the “Hummer” a Z Job.  Lame.

I’m reclaiming this one from the stupid things it has come to mean!

Simply, this one is the head you get before bed.  The good night oral sex that helps you get to sleep.  They are underrated, fun, and helpful.

Take back the Z Jay with me, and preform one tonight!  Don’t forget to tweet about it!

Sexlopedia: The Eiffle Tower

This is another one of those jerk moves that most guys only dream about.  You get 5 extra notches in your bed post if you happen to accomplish this feat.

What, did you really think I could use an ACTUAL (nsfw) picture of this move?

First you have to find a third person to fuck, which is a project in itself.

Then you have to maneuver one of you to your third person’s face for oral sex, usually its a BJ and then position the other fuck-er behind the fuck-ee for the sex while the person in the middle is on their knees.

Lastly, the two of you on the ends, have to raise your arms up and press your palms together to create the point of The Eiffel Tower. This isn’t just for a quick two handed high five either, you have to stay there for at least a minute without the middle person realizing.

Good Luck!

Sexlopedia: Wop-Wop Treatment – A Contest!

This is a special kind of treatment, a guy (or someone in a strap-on) gives to their special someone who …. can’t give head,  likes to be skull fucked, or if they like lots of sounds during a BJ.

The “Wop-Wop” is the sound of air being forced around while someone tries to breathe and moan around a cock being forced into their mouth and throat. Can you hear it now?  That weird… wop-wop-wop-wop globby throaty sound?

Popularized and normalized by porn, it has become a sound that makes just as many people cringe as it does spooge.

I know some of you all of you know what I’m talking about, so send me a clip of your favorite (or the funniest) Wop-Wop Treatment, and maybe you’ll win the prize.

This time around I’m giving away a Topco Adam & Eve Head Gear BJ Strap!  You know you want it to perfect your crazy Wop-Wop skills (hahahaha…)

• Faux leather strap with large metal grips
• Soft material won’t chafe skin
• Strap wraps around lover’s head
• Pull and release to control the depth and the pace of fellatio

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Sexlopedia: The Rodeo

The Rodeo is when you’re fucking someone in the “doggy style” position, and you say something ridiculously outlandish.

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Sexlopedia: A Date With Bob

I’ve been throwing this term around for a while now, and I’m surprised when people don’t know it.  Especially when those people are avid masturbaters and toy buyers.

For more pics from @EdenCafe at the BlogHer event- clicky!

A “BOB” is a vibrator, if you refer to it as a “battery operated boyfriend”.  Going on a date with BOB can imply a few things.  Could be their current BF isn’t cutting it, they just got a new toy and set time aside specifically for masturbation or they are too shy or witty to just say “I’m going to masturbate now, see ya!”.

So, there ya have it.  I’m off to masturbate now, see ya!

Sexlopedia: Ball Coozie

A fellow pervert and friend of mine recently took a sexcation and brought me back a soviouneer!

He relayed a story from the MILF he was having sex with, and something she over heard her son doing with his girlfriend called a “Ball Coozie”.  They had looked it up, and asked around because she was nervous and curious on what it could be.  Was it an innocent sexual game, a sweater for his balls, something dangerous, a new code word for drugs?

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Sexlopedia: Porny Moment

A Porny Moment is the opposite of a corny moment.  It is when you are just being you, doing your thing, and something that could have totally started a porn or was done in a porn happens.

Thats right kiddos, sometimes dreams DO come true!

The lines you never thought would work on a woman, turns out to work.  You go to her swanky home and find out she is a total knockout, awesome in bed, has a hot tub, MILF.  True Story.

Keep reading →

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