So. I got my Period last week. It happens. Ya know, Out of Order… I deal, move on, it happens again. When Broken, it throws off my taste buds and my ability to cook, gives me weird dreams and throws off my brain a little. Last week, it had me thinking of all the stupid things we call Menstruation and what happens when we mix it with sex acts. Kind of like that Metallica album cover they mushed blood and cum together and called it art (Rainbow Kiss, anyone?).
When I ride the Cotton Pony, I’m not always in sexy mood… other times I’m On The Rag I want to fuck all week. There’s no rhyme or reason to it, but sometimes it is difficult to find a person who wouldn’t mind earning their Red Wings. Which made me think, what other terms are there? Because Red Wings is just for giving oral sex on a woman who is getting a visit from her Aunt Flo; yet it is used universally to also mean bloody sex.
Mother Nature and sex… what I found was called The Rusty Buckle (ie, the bloody spot above the penis from making contact with a bloody vagina, maybe some splashing is involved). Well… that didn’t really cut it for me either… that is more of an after affect of fucking a woman during That Time of the Month, just like Red Wings is.
So. I came up with Slaying the Sanguine Dragon. The Curse gives us gals a bad reputation for being bitchy thus the dragon, and Sanguine means “reddish” and often is used to describe/interchangeable for blood, the slaying part is where I make it manly for you guys. I mean, c’mon, Rusty Buckle? We can do better than that, no? You’ve got a mighty sward sheathed in your pants, be a man, slay the dragon!
Bonus points if you wipe the blood across your chest after she orgasms and call it War Paint.
Use it well and make me proud guys!
PS. Don’t urbandictionary.com Bacon Love, might ruin bacon for you for a little while. People could be so gross, *cough*.
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