The “Wop-Wop” is the sound of air being forced around while someone tries to breathe and moan around a cock being forced into their mouth and throat. Can you hear it now?  That weird… wop-wop-wop-wop globby throaty sound?

Popularized and normalized by porn, it has become a sound that makes just as many people cringe as it does spooge.

I know some of you all of you know what I’m talking about, so send me a clip of your favorite (or the funniest) Wop-Wop Treatment, and maybe you’ll win the prize.

This time around I’m giving away a Topco Adam & Eve Head Gear BJ Strap!  You know you want it to perfect your crazy Wop-Wop skills (hahahaha…)

• Faux leather strap with large metal grips
• Soft material won’t chafe skin
• Strap wraps around lover’s head
• Pull and release to control the depth and the pace of fellatio

This contest closes 9-12-2010 at midnight eastern time!

Email: sexpertjaneblow@gmail.com

Twitter: @sexpertjaneblow

The Wop-Wop Treatment is a brain child of Phil Unofficial and friends, Head Gear BJ Strap is courtesy of Topco!

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Welcome to e[lust] - Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #20? Start with the rules, check out the schedule and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~

The Rules – She squirmed in her chair as if impaled there by my finger slowly pushing in and out. “But I can tell you that on our third date, I want something a lot bigger than your finger in me.”

Consensual Nonconsent - He told me he was going to do whatever he wanted to me, and he wanted me to not give consent. He wanted to take it from me. He wanted me to say no, and the less l liked something the harder it would make him.

Love and light – So I move on, not as a submissive, but as the smart mature strong woman that I know that I am. I will credit him with changing me. Changing the way I see myself.

~ e[lust] Editress ~

Confessional: Annual Reminder – In the dark, in the car, in the parking lot of a somewhat posh store, he got a fantastic blowjob as uptight conservatives drove past us.

~ Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick) ~

What’s Been Eating Emmy - A yearly test is good for most, but if you find you are playing with a larger than usual number of people, go get retested. Put yourself and your future partners mind at ease.

See also: Pleasurists #92 and #93 for all your sex toy review needs.

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationship

Adventures in Buttsex
Beginner Anal Positions
Clever Slut
Ever Changing
Jane Says: Take A2M Precautions
The Big Poly Secret – The Kreplit Famine
The P-Spot is the New Male Orgasm
Vaginal Cosmetic Surgery
What is Love?

Erotic Writing

“…is Hard to Do”
Bathroom Blowjobs
Dance of The Veil(Erotic Fiction Writing)
Erotica: A “Break In” – Fantasy pt1
Foreplay – An Erotic Beginning
Her Birthday
In Plain Sight…
Just a Friend
Loki At Play
Lydia and the Wrong Stockings
my turn
Mike & Jenny In The Bookstore
Need
On Fucking Jesus
Poem
School Detention
Trust Me
The Ordeal (Part Three)
The Heat of the Moment
The Closet
The Lioness
The Belt
The Brazilian
The Show
Voyeur ISO….

Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor

A New Day
Interview with Athena Hollow of Geek Girls Online
KSL’s 2nd Anniversary
My Evening Out
What Happened?

Kink & Fetish

A Drink and A Smoke
Begging, Pleading
Basement
Dangerous Rope
Day 1- Define Your Kinky Self
How To Find A Mistress
I’m Here, I’m Queer???
Kissing, is all
Leash
Punishment and an Ominous Chain
The Maid and the Jewels
Temple
the 2nd night with the Farmer
Total orgasmic destruction
What FetLife Has Done

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• Pleasurists #93
• Barbie Says: Hi, Let’s Fuck!

I set up my masturbation station, picked out a good movie, and on my tray was a Delight, the Hummer, a repeat offender SaSi and of course my Hitachi just in case nothing worked for me.

That same set up has been happening for over a week now, and I’ve had a SaSi and my Hitachi for a while now.  Funny thing is, I have a hard time moving past the Hummer.  I’ll get off a few times with it, and move onto something else for a half hearted try.  The same set up happens because the other toys aren’t getting a fair chance.  After a few days of this, I had to put it away and not take it out with the others.  This review was supposed to be about the Delight but if you haven’t noticed, this review is also late and NOT about the Delight.  oops?

Delight is a cool toy, don’t get me wrong, but I just haven’t cared.  My clit has been quite content with its new Hummer.  To make things clear, it has hung on my shelf for a while at the shop, I’ve read other reviews, I’ve seen all the hub-bub about it and it’s variants… but I just never bothered to give it a try.  Despite all the toys I have at home, I had an itch to pick out something new one day, and I took home the Hummer.  I still have no real idea why.  I wasn’t curious, the color didn’t get me (mine is white), the packegaing is hideous… anyway… I’m glad I took it home.

Facts:

• love nub
• scooped head
• multi-speed
• made of ABS plastic
• 2 AA batteries
• 6.5”x 1”/17 cm x 3 cm

Its a vibrator with a scooped head to cradle your clit with, and it says “love nub” for GSpot stimulation, but skip that and just use it if you like to pinpoint clitoral stimulation.  It does have quite a hum, nothing out of the ordinary if you are used to the rattle of a cheapy toy.  This one is the “original” and it is made by CalExotics.

I think they need to make 2 more versions of it:

1.  Coat it in a thin bit of amazing silicone.

2.  And make one of them have mini ridges or bumps in the scooped head.

Placing it on my clit does the job, but I find myself rubbing the scoop’s edges over my clit as well begging for some kind of texture.  I know there are other different Clitoral Hummers out there, but I haven’t tried them and I’m quite fond of the motor this one has.  It gives off that rumbly offset weight bass-y vibration I like, I’m not a fan of the treble buzzy vibrations.

I wouldn’t change much because I fear if they tried to make the toy more quiet, they’d fuck with the motor or some other integral part of the toy and then I wouldn’t like it anymore.   I can’t stick it in my butt like the Anal T, and that is fine, and it isn’t compact like the Anal T, and that is fine too.  I like it (mostly) just the way it is.

Rating: + + + + +

The people at CalExotics didn’t send me this one to review.

I did it as a freebe because the Hummer was worth a long, over-due, try.

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My examples are Crazy Sex, Angry Sex, Revenge Sex and Sneaky Sex.

Yeah, I know it was make up sex - but it STARTED as hate sex!

Think about it, I want you to rank them in order of best to worst in your opinion.  Here are my explanations of each.

Crazy Sex is that sex you get with that slightly disturbed person.  Maybe they missed their meds that morning, or their hormones sway a little more than the average person.  Maybe they are bipolar, maybe they’re just a little nuts; Nothing dangerous though.  There is just something about inhibitions and being nuts that makes the sex mind blowing.  The climb a mountain crazy and ask what is next.  That crazy guy who will drink the bottle to get the worm, that woman with the extra mischievous gleam in her eye… you know the game is on, and there will be scratching wounds.  

Got what I’m saying?  Good.  This person is great in bed.  When they get in the mood, they are a force not unlike a noreaster.   They are coming, a lot, for you… NOW.  They can’t be denied, so you’re better off going with the flow.  As long as this person isn’t using sex as a weapon (to get stuff out of you that they need), or to use it against you, and you both know what you’re agreeing to upon meeting in the bedroom (or in public, ya never know…) then by all means – go for it.  This is a conscious decision, make your bed, and fuck in it.  You signed up for the drama that could ensue.

Angry Sex. This one needs little explanation.  Nothing gets the blood pumping like anger… and sex.  When combined, wow.  Seriously, I have little else to say besides “wow”.  Just don’t use sex to solve problems, and don’t start fights to have sex – that isn’t healthy behavior.

Revenge Sex is another easy one to understand.  Have you been hurt so deep you’re about to use sex to make you feel better?  Your SO cheated on you, so now you fuck their friend… brother… mother?  They hurt your feelings so you’re going to hook up with an ex?  However you were slighted… you tell them, or let them find out – and you’re even.   Really sexy, nasty, dirty, and spiteful.  You’ll likely break up because of trust issues – but you used sex to get even – and it doesn’t make the sex any less hot.

Ah, last but not least… Sneaky Sex.  Cheaters, sneaky sex partners, dirty little secrets, curiosity fuck, opportunity knocking boots, “almost getting caught” … you’re all in this category.  My personal mantra is if you’re going to “cheat” then you should find someone to be in an open or swinger relationship if you’re after the extra curricular activities.  I don’t feel the need for cheating; just break up.  But my ideas don’t stop cheating and dirty secrets from happening… or take away the absolutely naughty feeling it gives a person.

Opinions?  Word on the street says Men and Women will rank these differently.

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Danny and Samantha finally fell asleep.  Finally fell asleep.  Jane at this point was almost more impatient to lose her virginity than curious.  She stood up, taking the blanket as a shield, to reach for the condoms that were mocking her.  Jane Brushed the dust off the top and quietly opened the box to take a condom out.  She sits back down, letting the blanket fall back over her and Ivan and pulls out the condoms.

“Hm, I didn’t know they were in a strip like this,” Ivan says quietly taking them from Jane.  He carefully pulls them apart so to take just one.  Flipping it in his fingers, and placing it in his big palm he looks at Jane, smiles, and puts it back in the box.  ”You waited this whole time to open the box?” asked Jane.

“Yeah, I had no reason to open the box, so why would I?”

“Heh, I would have.  Curiosity always get the best of me.  I would have examined it, but you had the box this whole time.  You put it on the shelf, and it stayed right there.  There is even a little spot void of dust where the box was.  I can’t believe you didn’t open them.”  Ivan shrugs lightly at Jane, and pulls her down to him to lay down to continue the pillow talk.

But instead Jane fights him a little, and stays sitting upright.  ”What about tonight?”

Dead Air.

“Seriously Ivan, what about tonight?  We’ve talked about it, read about it, are masters of oral sex… don’t you want to take the next step?  Aren’t you curious?”

Ivan reaches for the box of condoms to fish out the loose one, “Are you sure Jane?”  Jane nods, “Where.. what position should we try?”

“I heard it is less painful for the girl if she is on top… lets try it that way.”

With that, Ivan rips the condom open, and rolls it down on himself.  Despite the non sexy way they were speaking about sex, Jane noticed he was hard as a rock and ready.  She smiled to herself, thankful this wasn’t going to be awkward.

She positioned herself over him, her pussy aligned with his cock and she felt her pussy with her fingers before she went any further.  Jane read somewhere that it was important to be wet.  Wet? CHECK! Wow, she was nervous and ready, and so so wet.  She took his dick in her hand, and rubbed her pussy on it to help get him more wet and placed him at her entrance.

Jane  lowered herself slowly onto him, and she was met with intense pressure, but not pain.  She continued…slowly… sliding her pussy down on Ivan’s cock.   She thought to herself that he is certainly the biggest thing she ever tried putting inside of her.   At most she had a finger or two in her pussy, her mouth was used to how big he was.  Jane learned just how to blow Ivan, but she always had her hand to stroke him with too.  Her pussy was now aching around him, she could feel his heartbeat, she felt full, and intensely hot… and a little numb.  Ivan was huge, but Jane kept going.

When her pussy touched his pubic hair, she sighed and realized her eyes were closed.  When she opened them his eyes were closed too, so she touched his cheek and he gazed up at her… with a half shocked look on his face.  He was holding his breath, Jane leaned down to kiss him and they stayed very still for moment.

“I can feel you… I can feel all of you, your pussy is so so hot… and tight.  The pressure is amazing, am I totally inside of you?” Ivan says as he lifts his head to check.  He just couldn’t believe it.  Neither could Jane.  They exchanged an unspoken nod, as if to urge on movement and Jane lifted herself a bit so she could start fucking him.

Slowly she rose her hips, and sunk back down onto his cock.  Sliding her hot tight pussy up and down his rock hard cock.  Jane’s mind was spinning, she thought this was an amazing feat of her body, she was starting to enjoy the full feeling of his cock inside of her but she was still a bit numb… she guessed it was better than pain, and kept fucking him slowly.

Ivan placed his hands tentatively on her hips to guide her to fuck him a bit quicker, when Jane was matching the pace his head rolled back to the pillow after he watched in amazement.

Jane tried leaning forward to see if it would feel different, her breasts swung lightly over his face, and he lifted to kiss them… he slid his hands over her back and held her to him.  They were lost together.  Still she moved her hips over him, moaning a little into his ear, biting her lips, and kissing his neck.  Jane was lost in lust and new sensations washing over her body, she felt something deep inside of her being turned on and her pussy relax a little.  Jane leaned back, loosening herself from his grip and placed her palms on his chest to walk herself to sit on his cock upright.  She started to grind on him, painfully… delightfully pressing his cock head against her cervix… then went back to fucking him properly like she saw in pornos.

This went on for a few more minutes, but then Jane felt that overwhelming feeling of orgasm.  Ivan was watching her, observing her, in wonder and amazement that he was having sex, he knew that face she was making.  The way her chin lifts and her neck extends, the way she puts her fingers through her hair to hold her scalp, and the jerky movements in her hips… she was about to orgasm.

Jane’s pussy flooded, and she barely felt Ivan’s cock twitch as well.  He must have just finished coming.  Jane was gone… lost in her own orgasm, she didn’t realize she was moaning and clutching at his chest.  When she opened her eyes again, she breathlessly looked down at Ivan and noticed he was watching her still.  She smiled, he smiled back.  ”Did you?” Jane asked, and Ivan nodded.  ”I know youu did… sexy.”

Thats when they both heard the cough/giggle.

They remembered, Jane snapped her body to look behind her, grabbing whatever blanket she could find to her chest.  Her body was red hot, she didn’t think she could be any hotter in this moment until her slightly sweaty face flushed too.  Jane’s hair was a mess, she has a post orgasm glow, and an embarrassed but accomplished smile on her face.

“Sorry guys, didn’t mean to wake you… we uh… hm… yeah.  Sorry.”

Samantha and Danny let out a little laugh, and Danny said “Don’t worry, we didn’t hear much.  Just the rrrip.”

Ivan laughed, “So, the whole thing? Was it as good for you as it was for me?”

Samatha laughed harder and added quickly “THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!!”

Jane finished the thought, “Just before the bed broke!”

Oh, inside jokes, friends in the end… will be friends.

Jane finally lifted herself off of Ivan and he took the condom off and put it in a tissue to throw it out.  They wiped their bodies down with a towel from the bathroom and they went back to lay down.  As Jane cuddled up with Ivan, and laid her head on his chest.  She gazed back up at the condom box, now sitting there ripped open.  There were at least 11 more pieces of puzzle in that box – and her curiosity cat had at least 8 more lives… she wondered who would win in the end as she fell asleep.

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• Erotica: A “Break In” – Fantasy Part II
• Erotica: A “Break In” – Fantasy Part I
• Erotica: Tonight, She Was A Schoolgirl – Part II

Yep, that’s right folks.  Whether it is for novelty purposes or a living dead fetish the people at Kink Engineering have you covered!  PS. Haha, get it… “bang” … I’m so funny.

PPS. If the “Mythos” dildo was an Illithid, I’d have to get it. /geekspeak.

Special thanks to Phil Unofficial and Sham the McGyptian for sending this to me!

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That’s  a good reason to freak out. I know only one person who is enough of a douche bag to actually kid about giving someone an STD, most people don’t screw around with others like that so it’s usually safe to assume the sexual partner is telling the truth. Without delving too much into the psychosocial aspects, a partner will tell you after a sexual experience because the guilt weighs heavy – and people in general do care about the well being of others, more so if it’s a partner they want to see again and continue to be intimate with.

Of course there are plenty of caveats to my above statement – a one night stand-fling won’t really give a shit, but people are more cautious with that type of thing. A hooker isn’t going to tell you about her rotten crotch and then there’s the people who are just fucksticks and have no idea about maintaining a positive sexual health and are swimming in a sea of ignorance and most likely crabs.

Let’s pretend you are in a situation where you have been exposed to something rather nasty, and you are freaking out calling the Sexpert team at 2 am in the morning. Don’t lose hope! There are some immediate prevention methods you can do to lower your risk of acquiring the STD you were exposed to.

• If you were exposed to HPV – immediately take a hot shower – hot water kills & washes away the Papiloma virus which tends to hang out on the epidermis for a short while before it finds its way into the bloodstream. Make sure to wash the exposed areas thoroughly with soap.

• If you were exposed to Herpes – find someone who is getting over an acute infection, punch them in the face, and steal their prescription antibiotics, swallow 2 – 4 of them within 24 hours of exposure. Herpes virus is so small it penetrates the skin easily, so unlike HPV you can’t just wash it off but if you catch it in time down those meds and seek out a doctor for a targeted regime. You just might be able to kick it before it takes hold.

• HIV is similar to Herpes; it is so small and can easily enter into the bloodstream from one of the mucous membranes. PEP & PreP (Post-exposure Prophylaxis and Pre-exposure Prophylaxis) have been proven to stop seroconverisons if caught early. They both function slightly differently, you may hear about medical service professionals getting stuck with a needle by accident and started immediately on anti-HIV meds. It works most of the time, but not always. You have about 72 hours from a potential exposure to HIV to have the best chance of PEP succeeding. On the other hand, PreP is mainly for couples where one partner has a positive status, and anti-HIV meds are taken by the HIV negative partner before sexual activity as a precaution. With an undetectable viral load and PreP it is possible for someone with HIV to be “sexually non-infectious” able to have sex without protection, and not infect their partner. Personally I feel it’s up to each person to decide on their level of risk. Out of all the methods of stopping STDs, HIV is the most complicated and can cause the most side effects because of the very specific anti-retrovirals one needs to take. Side effects for four weeks versus AIDS for life, well that should be a no brainer.

So there you have three different STDs and some ways to stop them before they make your life complicated and miserable. If you feel you have been exposed to any STD, you should always seek professional medical advice, testing and possibly treatment immediately. Many STDs that I did not mention can be treated and cured if caught early on. Always remember if you’re not sure about your partners sexual history, use protection, be smart & safe about your sexcapades!

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Ever have a really bad break up and just couldn’t let go of the person?  They were nearly perfect? You needed them in your life? Well, this guy thought the same thing.  Except he wanted bigger boobs and a nicer ass.  I get where he is coming from, I’ve had a few “average guys” I’d rather not remember.

Source TheAsylum.com

Source Eden Fantasys Sexis

What do you think of his $18,000 current girlfriend?

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MoonDoggie82 (who is on twitter), your fearless gaming leader says this about himself:  ”Creator of The One Gaming Nation (T1GN), I love to play video games and can be labeled as an Achievement Whore. You will almost always find me on XBL.”

Tricks for Modern Warfare? Got it.  Metro 2033? Got it.  Naughty Bear Reviews, Yea – Got that too.  He’ll even discuss Rock Band and Fable 3.  If you want a cheat, an achievement, something to hold over your friend’s heads and a good gamer website to check in on…  T1GN.com is the place to go.  They are cool guys to chat with too, and will do a random FMK if asked nicely!

Just like I have Spotlights, and Emilio has Pipe City, T1GN has Gaming Goddesses – Oh, Hai Olivia Munn.

Eh? Eh? I thought SO.

There are others as well, check out the network bar at the bottom of your screen – take a peek at Kidd Future the very best in pop-culture, music, technology, art and fashion.  Nerd Pundit a geekgasm of discussions, Emilio Sparks the Charlie Rose of Hip Hop of course FLAM.  Last but not least, Rich Russ0 is a music guru and local scene supporter.

Support me?

Love me?

Trust me, Check him out!

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These two were sent to me via facebook wall post after a discussion about my new KinkLab inventory turned into a double teaming incident. I love my life.

I’d really like to know
1) How do you go about meeting single women who are into it? I know they have bars/clubs geared towards swingers but I have no idea how to find those or which ones are good.

2) New and interesting positions/acts that all 3 can participate in other than the normal girl going down on girl while guy has sex with 1 (which is hot but I’d like a broader horizon of things to do lol)

1.  As far as meeting people it is location, location, location.  If swinger bars and clubs aren’t quite your thing, try gay bars and lesbian/bisexual nights.  Try going to GLBT friendly events.  Or even places YOU would hang out at this way you can find someone with similar interests too.  Then talk to people, talk to everyone, especially the women you are interested in.  See where it takes you.  Try complimenting them, and swing the conversation as the night progresses to sex, fantasies, then maybe group sex if you want to take a direct approach.  If not, become friends with this person but keep them at arm’s distance because you don’t want to fall into the “friend zone”.

As far as finding a good place to go where there are swingers, try websites that have rating systems for clubs and kink friendly events. Fetlife.com could help, Yelp.com could help and Craigslist.com could help if you ask to know where to go instead of hook up with someone.

2.  As for new and interesting positions…There are “train” positions to get into where you can all give oral sex to one another; you can lay on your sides or prop yourselves up on your knees.

I’ve had great success introducing toys and strap-ons, the ladies can play while he instructs.  Or you can take turns on him and share him while on your knees or while he lays down.  One of my favorites is for him to lay down, a woman to ride his face and the second woman to use a toy on herself while blowing him.

Which can easily switch to the woman blowing him to the woman fucking him, and kissing the other as she rides his face.  Or go into a reverse cowgirl position so the woman on his face can play with the woman’s hair, breasts or ass.

The women can get into a 69 position and he can freely move around to fuck either of them while they try and have oral sex.

The woman can lay on top of one another as if to preform a missionary position, while he fucks the one on top… the women can hug, kiss, moan; the one on the bottom can eye gaze with both of her partners which can get pretty hot.

Any position you can get into that forms a Triangle with your bodies is helpful because it allows genital to mouth, or genital to genital contact.

If you’ve done these positions and more, or when you have done these positions – let me know – so I can give better pointers for next time.  Its difficult to give idea advice without already knowing what you’ve accomplished.

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The Goddess Aphrodite by DarkAlchemyStudios

Welcome to Pleasurists, a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days. For updates and information follow our RSS Feed and Twitter.

Did you miss Pleasurists #92? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #94? Be sure to read our submission guidelines and then use our submission form and submit it before Sunday August 29th at 11:59pm PDT.

Want to win some swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

• Fetish Fantasy Ultra Cuff Set Deadline: August 31st.
• 100th Post Giveaway Deadline: August 31st @ 11:59pm Central.
• Add Some Sizzle to Your Summer Deadline: August 31st.
• Michele’s A-Day LELO Siri Giveaway Deadline: September 6th.
• Eden Fantasys Gift Card Giveaway Deadline: September 6th.
• CBW Contest! Deadline: September 21st.
• 11:11 Designer Condom Cases Deadline: September 30th.

Looking for sexy posts other than reviews?

e[lust] #18

Editor

Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

Editor’s Pick

• njoy Fun Wand by Elodie

I already adored my new toy before I knew how the end with three bloops felt in my butt. When K used the Fun Wand in my rear (with plenty of lubricant), it was a revelation.

On to the reviews…

Vibrators

• L’Amour Tripler Dual Stimulation by Mistress Kay
• L’Amour Tripler Dual Stimulation by Jessie Beth
• Fun Factory Sinfflut Benjamin Bond by Rayne
• Tuyo by Marilyn
• Rhythm “O” Triple Kiss by Isabel0329
• Rhythm “O” Triple Kiss by Jane Blow
• Rechargeable Power Wand by Dr. Ruthie
• We-Vibe II by Juliettia
• We-Vibe II by Kate
• Blue Venus by Bitchin’ Babe
• Black Diamond by buzzvibe
• LELO Siri by Alan & Michele
• Zen Calm Massager by Jessie Beth
• Wand Vibrator Comparison by Dr. Ruthie
• Calypso 2 by Lucy Lemonade
• Reflections Bliss Nirvana by Vanilla Kinks
• The C-Spot by Alan & Michele
• Chippendales Diva by Pretty Power Tools
• Evolved Croupier by Pretty Power Tools

Dildos

• Crystal Delights Epiphany Baton by Isabel0329
• njoy Fun Wand by Elodie
• Tentacle Jr. by True Pleasure
• Vixen Creations Spur by Elodie
• Jollies Jack by Pretty Power Tools

Anal Toys

• Crystal Delights Plug by Scarlet Lotus St. Syr
• LELO Bob by Dr. Ruthie
• Tantus Ripple by Vanilla Kinks
• Silicone Explorers by Kynky Kytty
• Fun Factory Flexi Felix by Red Vinyl Kitty

Toys for Cocks

• Tenga Flip Hole by Cooper
• Blossom Sleeve by Red Vinyl Kitty
• Studded Extender Sleeve by Pretty Power Tools

Lube, Massage Oil, Bath Stuff, & etc.

• Durex Play Utopia by Lucid Obsession
• Earthly Body Waterslide by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew
• BabeLicious by Vanilla Kinks
• BabeLube by Saraid
• Babeland Naked Organic by Dr. Ruthie
• Pink Unity by Kynky Kytty
• System JO Wild Clitoral Stimulation Gel by Femenina Deliciosa

BDSM/Fetish

• Rachel’s Play Pak by Jessie Beth
• Pink Plush Cuffs by Kit O’Connell
• Mini Cat-O-Nine Tails by Mistress Kay
• Fetish Fantasy Series Bamboo Beater by Lucy Lemonade
• Wartenberg Pinwheel by buzzvibe
• Pinwheel by Mystress Lady Evyl
• Spank Ties by Mistress Kay
• Under the Bed Restraints by Missy

Adult Books/Games

• A Smart Girl’s Guide to Porn by Alan & Michele
• Pleasure Bound by Mistress Kay
• Secrets of Prostate Massage by Joanna Cake
• Sexually Dominant Woman by Mistress Kay
• Fast Girls by Mistress Kay
• Fairy Tale Lust by Alan & Michele
• Sex Toys 101 by Alan & Michele

Adult DVDs & Porn

• Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Anal Pleasure for Men by Mistress Kay
• Desperate Husbands by Chops McGruff
• Ultimate Surrender #15 by J.D. Bauchery
• A+ by FrzKey
• Justine Joli LOST by J.D. Bauchery
• Couch Surfers 2 – Trans Men in Action by The Porn Librarian
• Speakeasy by Jessie Beth
• Inmu Vol. 1 & 2 by FrzKey
• Feeling It… Not Faking It by Jessie Beth

Storage

• Small Black Vibrator Case by Mistress Kay

Miscellaneous

• Vibrating Velvet Corsette Harness by Essin’ Em
• Celtic Wreath Nipple Jewelry by Isabel0329
• Good Vibrations Soft Pack by Mistress Kay
• Trojan Fire & Ice Condoms by Lucid Obsession
• Spareparts Theo Harness by Pretty Power Tools

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Like you…. oh, fucked their sibling last night or their best friend, or mom.  Or that you have an STD (this works more if you are unprotected).   As they try to get away, you hold on, like you’re riding a bucking bronco at a rodeo.

Hang on for more than 10 seconds, and you’re the winner!

I don’t recommend trying this, but if you do, please comment about your experience!

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This is a scarce bread of men , or as I like to call them, The Oh Shit, I’m About To Turn 30, My Clock Is Ticking. I Have To Find A Woman To Produce My Offspring. But I am warning you now, the numbers will double by the end of the year.

This past weekend, I met one of, “them.”  I don’t think more than five words were exchanged before his tongue was shoved down my mouth, but I thought to myself, I’m drunk, and you’re kind of cute, so why not?

After about an hour, we headed over to another bar, and as the drinks continued to flow, so did the ridiculous lines.

Apparently, when two people have a passion for California and running, it means you should get married on the spot. “Nicole, we should run to San Diego, get married and open up a surf spot right on the beach.”  I laughed, because deep down I knew he was kidding, (I hope).  I get it, we were both drunk, or at least I was, but if I ever said that to a guy that I just met, he would have had his running shoes on, and he would getting cozy in someone else’s vagina.

We spent the rest of the night making out and awkwardly joking about our, “future” together… then I found out he was 29. That’s right, 29, with his shit together. In other words, I’m looking for the real deal.

He kept going on about wanting to take me out to dinner, so I figured why not give him my number? I love food, and he has a kick-ass personality.

When I woke up the following morning, there was no alcohol left in my system to impair my judgment.

Later in the day, I received a text message from my clinger saying, “San Diego, it was great meeting you last night. Let me know when you are free for dinner.” My heart sank for about .5 seconds because I knew I wasn’t interested… and because I was kicking myself in the ass for not giving my number to the hottie that helped me clean up all the beer bottles I knocked over as I was leaving my friend’s shore house.

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I was told to hire 2 new employees; one male, one female.  Usually they take applications till they are blue in the face, talk to the people for a little while, throw them on a shift or two to see if they can handle it and hire someone.

Well, that is basically what I’m going to be doing, but, I really don’t want to hire some drone who just thinks they are superior because they work in a freakn’ sex shop.  They don’t get to know the products, and think it is cake work.  Sure, being a body IS cake, but I don’t want another body.

I’ve never made needing coworkers at Nitecap Video such a public event before, but I’m tired of bodies and figure this is a good way to reach out to other sexperts.

“Nitecap Video, Open till 3am, This is Jane… … … 3am!”

I want someone like me, and any of my other “coworkers” out there in “my field”.   I need a sex knowitall, someone who is into products and is hungry to learn more.  Open to all sexualities, genders, and is a special kind of crazy.  Be  ready to deal with 3 bosses.  Yes, three.

You have to be able to adapt, sell, be ready to do inventory, and do regular shop upkeep.  The shifts are 8-9 hours long, and we’re open not only till 3am but also on holidays, and weekends.  So remember, if WE are open – YOU are working.  Tell grandma you’re sorry if you miss Christmas Eve.

It would also be a wonderful idea to treat this place as your place of work – not your personal hook up spot.  Don’t try and get a number from every cutie who walks in here.  This is all heavily frowned upon, and you could get let go.  Do not mix buisness and work.  (Yes, I know it is “business and pleasure” but when your work is pleasure… work comes first.)  We work hard to make this a very comfortable place for EVERYONE; some people find it difficult to even call to see if we have a product they are looking for.

You must be a team player, friendly, and finish tasks you start.  You must be on time, be ready to work with people 3x your age, and have a knack for problem solving.

It would help if you knew Quickbooks, but it isn’t required.

I need a natural seller, someone with the gift of gab without being pushy and insensitive.  We don’t sell shoes, we sell sex toys.

Be ready to sell product to your ex without causing a scene, the little lady down the street, or even previous teachers you’ve had in school.  Your son’s friends, the person who cuts your hair, or the guy who makes your sandwich at the deli.  You’re going to bump into business men and housewives, virgins and professional sex workers.  Nitecap is SI’s mini Vegas, what goes on here, STAYS HERE.  Do not go blabbing to the world and blow up someone’s spot if you saw them here.

You must be local to Staten Island.  You could live in Jersey or in another borough, but if you are killing yourself to get here by 9am and decide to give up after a month or two, I’m going to hate you for wasting my time.

You must have access to a car 24/7 – as in it is yours, and you can get here.  There is no real access via train or bus; a cab from my house (7 mi away) is $20.  Getting “rides” never works; In other words, if you can’t get here, on your own – Don’t bother applying.

You must be 18 or older, and a mature 18 at that.

You must tell Mom and Dad where you work.  Also, you can’t have a crazy/jealous/overbearing girlfriend or boyfriend either- this is a no drama zone.  Again, if I get through training you as a delightful mini me – and they drag you out of here angry – I’m not your friend anymore.

You get a salary, it is better than min wage.

It would be helpful if you knew the basics of porn stars, toys, lubes and smoke accessories; but you don’t need to have worked in the xxx world before.

The hours are given to you, there is some wiggle room in the beginning but you’ll get set days.  We swap here and there because life happens.

If you have another job, it is going to work against you.  When someone needs to swap and you can’t, when you need to swap but never cover one of our shifts, when you come to work dead tired because you’re working weird hours and do nothing here on your shift… these situations don’t always end in termination… but they put you on the fence really quick.  Like I said before, I don’t want to hire a body.  We have a body or two to call in when we need them.  I want a coworker, a team player.

Lastly, there is the “right way” to do things, and then there is the “Nitecap” way of doing things.  We don’t mind boat rockers, but we have an odd routine that works here.  We’ll let you rock the system a little to see if you can come up with something better, change could be good.  But I’m not kidding about the you must be a “special kind of crazy” to work here.

Do you meet ALL of these requirements? Because I’m not going to hire you if you don’t.  Do not waste my time, I don’t want someone who “needs a job”, I want someone who wants to help the world have better sex.

Ok, Good Luck!

Call or Email for an appointment, DO NOT just send me a resume. All interviews are done on Sundays from 11am -4pm.  Please, don’t just show up as a walk in application on Sundays, it’ll be considered rude and you will be pushed to the bottom of the pile.

Nitecap Video

690 Gulf Ave, SI NY 10314

NitecapVideo@gmail.com

718 370 8100

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I heard multiple voices as I stood there for what seemed like an eternity. They would get louder and softer as the men seemed to walk around my room. Then without warning, I was shoved face first onto my bed. I was now laying face down on my bed with my feet still on the floor and my ass perched in the air.

I began to squirm and my futile attempt at wiggling across my bed was quickly restricted by a pair of callused hands around my waist pulling me back to the edge of the bed. These hands were different but not any more friendly, as I felt a hard thwack across my right but cheek. I could imagine it turning bright red and the imprint of his hand becoming visible. They mumbled something and then chuckled amongst themselves. I then felt the same callused fingers move further downward and probe between my lips. I was shocked at how quickly they slid between, but it had turned out my body had betrayed me. In these moments of terror, humiliation, and disgust, my body had reacted without my permission, and I was wet.

I could hear one of them call me a whore as he said to the other “she wants it, shes practically dripping”. Could it be? Could I really be aroused in spite of the situation? Or was I aroused because of it? My mind began to race again as I felt his fingers circle around my clit which had shockingly begun to throb. No sooner was I almost beginning to enjoy the feeling of these harsh callused hands in between the soft, wet, and engorged lips of my pussy than they had disappeared.

I had begun to sob at my own body’s betrayal. I had almost even been grateful that my mouth was taped shut so I could wallow in my own humiliation. However they did not give me much time to sort out my confusion. A few brief moments later, I heard what sounded like a zipper, and without warning I had been brutally impaled by a long hard cock. He thrust so deeply and quickly inside of me, that he knocked my breath out of me. I hadn’t stopped crying, only now these were tears of pain. He was much bigger than I was used to, and at this angle, he pounded my hole much deeper than I could handle. With his hands holding my hips firmly in place it felt as though he would tear me apart. Each time he rammed into me, it was harder than the time before it. Each time he pounded into me I felt the weight of his balls slap against my lips, and my ass jiggle.

He had only been at it for a few minutes, but I had become so wet that when he pulled his rock hard cock out from deep inside of me, there was an audible “pop”. I was confused, because for a split second I was disappointed. My disappointment did not last long as I was manhandled and tossed onto my back. I felt one of them place their hands on my shoulders as another quickly spread my legs and grabbing each ankle, he pinned them down by my ears.

I felt cold steel on my temple and he leaned down and told me that he was going to remove the tape now, but if i even so much as made a peep that this wouldn’t end well. Simultaneously as he ripped the tape from my mouth, the other one slid inside of me to lubricate his cock with my wetness. I knew better than try anything, so I remained as still and silent as I could.  Then as I was being fucked, the man with the gun said to me, “He is going to fuck your ass now and you have two choices, you can lay here in silence and take it, or if you feel you might need to make noise I can gag you with my dick.” Just as I was about to beg and plead for him not to take my virgin ass I was cut off. “If you need something in your mouth to keep you quiet you will open it, otherwise I have no problem shutting you up permanently. Do you understand?”

Fearing my life, I quietly shook my head. No sooner was I being commended for my compliance, than I felt a finger slide quickly into my cunt, and immediately into my ass. I let out a whimper and forgetting the rules, I begged. “Please NO! Ill do anything, just don’t…!” I was quickly shut up when I heard him cock his gun and realized they were serious. Once I felt the pressure of the second finger slowly slide into my tight asshole, I knew there was no other way to keep quiet than to have something inside of my mouth, even if it meant his long, and very thick cock.

Hesitantly I opened my mouth. He shoved himself as far as he could into my throat. Between the pressure in my ass, and the rock hard pulsating dick in my mouth, I didn’t know what to do. Except now unexpectedly there was a finger rubbing my clit, and again despite my situation, I could feel my clit becoming harder, and my pussy wetter. I was now being penetrated in two of my holes, against my will, and instead of fighting my way out of it, I was enjoying it. I could taste myself on his dick. I could feel the pressure in my ass as it stretched to accommodate the other slightly smaller cock that was now more than 1/2 way in. But mostly I could feel the orgasm build.

As I almost couldn’t take it anymore, I began to moan, and the vibrations of my throat were too much for him, and as he came in my mouth. And as I began to cum, my hips jerked up and down and my ass milked his cock inside of it. He came deep inside of my ass too.

No sooner had I myself had an orgasm than I had realized they had both left me there to lie in a pool of hot cum as it dripped out of me.

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If you have a short attention span, this post could be TL;DR – but hang in there, it is totally worth it!

Pam & Jim; perfect examples of that fresh, new, awesome relationship.

Stage One: Meet and Greet

For stage one to be complete, you must go on at least 3 dates to get a proper assessment of a person.  Although, some people require less time.  It is true for the majority of people, they know if they want to sleep with someone within the first 15 minutes (usually less).  The point of Meet and Greet is to figure out if you’d sleep with them, and to see if there is a connection.  A spark, something worth pursuing.

Stage Two: Hideyhole

This stage is that span of time where you spend every available about of free time with your new person.  You may have introduced them to your friends and maybe a family member but only if you happen to bump into someone you know or can’t get around having them meet the parents.  Likely, you’ve just talked about them – if at all.  At this point they might not be your secret, but they are your ‘precious’.  You spend time actually bonding, and playing that Cat n’ Mouse game of sexual innuendo till someone makes a first move.

Stage Three: Bunny

When someone finally breaks the ice and makes a first move, is when Bunny Stage begins.  This period of time is a sex free for all.  Every date starts and finishes with sex, if you care to keep up with the pretense of going out on a date.  Bunny Stage can last anywhere between three weeks and three months. This stage is also where you find out who your friends are, they will get separation anxiety if you were their single pal.  Your friends already locked into relationships will be waiting for you after this is stage levels out.

Note: If Bunny stage lasts more than three months, you need to either marry your partner or demote them to fuck buddy.  Relationships solely based on sex never work. There is a difference between love and sex, despite some people’s inability to separate the two.

Stage Four: Time Management

Your friends who are in relationships want to double date, your single friends miss you, your parents haven’t heard much from you either and you’ve been too distracted to do any real work.  This is when you play catch up, while still making time for your new significant other (SO).  If your friends survive this, keep them.  If your SO survives it, keep him/her too.  If not, they’re too high maintenance or jealous, dump that immediately if you can’t handle it.

Stage Five:  The Talk

By now if you haven’t defined what you are to one another, you should.  If this is a summer fling, say so.  If it is a rebound, say so.  If you feel they have potential to see what happens over time, come clean.  Even if you’re just fucking around, be honest.  Have THE TALK.  Freely communicating will make you a better person, and help eliminate any drama.  Rushing to say that your “clock is ticking” is a turn off, but saying you’re tired of the “dating game” is acceptable.

Stage Six: See No Evil

Now that you’re totally smitten, your SO can do no evil.  Everything is cute. You’re in blissful denial of their nail biting, and taking food off your plate, you even think their snoring is adorable.  Enjoy this while it lasts, the next few stages can be a bit rocky.

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There’s a new book, just out today, that’s going to change the way you fuck. It’s called Sex: Our Bodies, Our Junk and it’s written by The Association for the Betterment of Sex, a “scholarly” organization made up of a mix of current and former writers for The Daily Show, Late Night with Conan O’Brien, Vanity Fair, and The Onion. The book is an uprorarious take on the sex manual, replete with embarrassing illustrations, shameful confessions, and contortive positions that could be achieved only by a trio of Thai ecdysiasts. In celebration of SOBOJ’s release, I decided to interview two of the book’s authors: Mike Sacks and Ted Travelstead. I’m not saying that these are the smartest or funniest or most representative of the quintet of writers, but they both happen to work with me at V.F.,and, like most people searching for sexual partners, I’m sort of an opportunistic feeder. Here’s the transcript of our conversation.

Source: www.vanityfair.com

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Bra’s are a wonderful and frustrating lie piece of material. They are designed with a sole purpose to make a woman feel better about her breasts (most women think bras are uncomfortable). Now, I may be stepping on JaneBlow’s toes here, but I think this is something for the men to write about… Jane, feel free to critique my observations. Oh, and a quick side note, I am not knocking anyone’s body types. This is merely an observation by a very horny man!
Lets start with the average drop. A woman’s breast will drop approximately 2-4 inches when the bra is taken out of the equation. This drop pertains mostly to women with natural breasts and will not be a factor on MOST women with breast enhancements. Fake breasts usually have good support from the skin being tightened. However, like everything else, there are exceptions. The bigger the implant is, the more these rules apply. On to the study!
Now when “top cleavage” is introduced, it gets a little more complicated. Top Cleavage is the line that outlines the top of a woman’s breast. The deeper the line, usually means the lower the drop. (See Fig 1 & 2)

The next thing to notice is the Side Boob Crest. The SBC can only be seen from certain angles but it is a good indication of a significant drop. The same rule for top cleavage applies; the deeper the line the father the drop. (See Fig 3 & 4)

Hershey Kiss Tits are small and petite, but they are the least deceiving (Unless they have an outrageous pushup bra on). In this case you’re probably getting what your bargaining for. In rare cases you will get a below average drop, but there isn’t much room for deception in these cases. (See Fig 5 & 6)

This is where Phil gets NSFW due to little boobies and nipples.

On to sizing. I’m sure you have all heard the match it to fruit theory. I am more of a “hands on” person so to speak. If a breast looks like it can fit in the palm of your hand like you’re holding your mouse right now it’s an A cup. If you’re holding on to a softball – B cup. Now, C, in my opinion, is the golden size. It’s not too big, not too small, but I’m a man of variety, so I don’t really care when it comes down to it. A C cup would give you a solid grip with one hand on and enough excess to kiss around the nipple. A D gives you more than enough room for one hand and a mouth or a two-hand grip. A Double D allows you to have a double grip and a mouth on it.

Now, we’ve hit the trickiest part of our “judgment”. The nipple. Nipples vary and there is no sure way to determine a nipples size (unless it raining and the shirts cold and wet, then you may even get lucky enough to see the areola raise which is like looking through tracing paper). However, a general rule of thumb would be to assume the bigger the breast, the bigger the areola.   AND typically with bigger the breasts get, the nipple will lower towards the bottom of the breast more because of the lift.  Figure an A cup=a penny and a Double D=a sand dollar. But the nipple itself doesn’t follow any regiment, so you would just have to wait for cold weather and skimpy clothes.

Jane Blow Note: My brother told me that if you look at the color of a woman’s lips (on her face) and the rims of her eyes will help you determine nipple color.  I haven’t put this one to the test yet.

Now, ladies and gentlemen, I am not a picky person. I think there is beauty in all shapes and sizes. I just don’t like to get my hopes up for one thing and find the truth is something quite different. I hope this handy little guide will find you well and help you on your future endeavors!

If you have something to say and would like to guest post like Phil here did, email me at sexpertjaneblow@gmail.com and we’ll see if we can make it happen.  Normally I’d forward a post like this to The Bachelor Bible, BUT women need to know this too.

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Here is the Rhythm O Triple Kiss in the package.

As you can see Cal Exotics sent me this “rabbit style” vibrator.  I’m not a huge fan of rabbits, and after handeling as many as I have, I can tell by just looking at it, I would not be in love with it.  Therefor I didn’t use it, and made a video of what I liked about the toy and didn’t.

Yes, I’m judging a book by its cover, and not to be a “snob” about what goes in my cooch, but I’ve been masturbating for a really long time and I didn’t want to “waste” this toy by using it myself knowing I wouldn’t < 3 it.  THAT DOESN’T MEAN YOU WONT LOVE IT. If you like what I say about the toy – go get it.  If not, pass it by. If you are a rabbit fan, this is a cool one to get because it is different than a traditional rabbit in it’s movements.  If you’ve never had a rabbit, this is also a cool toy because of the materials and versatility; especially if you enjoy deep penetration.

The packaging is clear with the description of the Rhythm O on it; which is helpful to customers because they can see what they are getting without any cardboard blocking their view and making it mysterious.

The Rhythm O is made out of TPE which is short for Thermoplastic Elastomer.  This is a polymer blend, textures can range between a solid silicone feel to a squishy jelly feel.  TPE is less porus than cyberskin but more porus than silicone.  It is still a high quality material, hypoallergenic and phthalate free… which means no solvents, no latex or softeners are in this toy.  So if you have sensitive skin, or highly allergic to the world – you can feel safe in giving this toy a try.

Facts:

• Made of TPE
• 4 AAA batteries
• Over 21 Amazing patterns to create
• 90 Pleasure Beads
• Hot button for random function selection
• Waterproof
• Easy On & Off button

To clean it use an antibacterial toy spray or a soft soap like Dial and warm water.  Water based lubes are used with this toy, nothing else.

To see the product out of the package & see what it could do….The toy sounds MUCH louder than it is because my camera picked up on it.

Sorry about the glare, I’ll pick a better spot to make the next vid!

I started with saying the toy is on the soft side, and show off the handy “waterproof” ring.  Then moved into the 3 shaft speeds and the 7 pulse settings (I miss counted, go ahead and make fun).  I did one setting at a time instead of turning the toy on together because you couldn’t hear the clit bullet over the whirring of the shaft (due to my camera’s sound pick up).  You CAN use the shaft and Bullet together.  There are three “ears” on the bullet to circle your clit with, thus the “triple kiss” in the name.

• Speed 1 and 2 are discernible from one another in the shaft, speed 3 is slightly faster than speed 2 but not by much.
• 1 low
• 2 medium
• 3 high
• 4 escalating
• 5 low pulse
• 6 high pulse
• 7 pulse pulse pulse puuuuuulse pulse pulse pulse puuuuulse
• Hot – if you click the hot button again, it’ll randomize what setting will come up next

The OFF button is quite handy for those of us who get sensitive after orgasm and need a quick way to turn the toy off.  Or get “caught” masturbating and need a quick off button as well.

Rating: + + + + –

One minus for being in the “too long” for me side.  If this was a ‘mini’ I probably would have given it a better shot.

So there it is, the Rhythm O triple kiss from Cal Exotics – THANK YOU for sending me another awesome toy – Since I didn’t use it, I might be giving it away.  So stay tuned!

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When anyone in the DAPS team meets up with an amazing individual, we keep them locked in the basement so no one else can have them (er, I mean, we hold onto them and nurture them) – other times they take off on their own because they’re awesome.  FLAM is one of those awesome people; he works for MTV, writes for DAPS and Emilio Sparks, takes pictures with Hot Chicks, lives in Pipe City, will tell you what FAILS in fashion and … word on the street has it he wears magnums BONG BONG!

Flam and the Hot Chick, Halima.

If you’re a Hot Chick and want to expand your portfolio, contact Flam; you wont be disappointed.

There are others as well, check out the network bar at the bottom of your screen – take a peek at Kidd Future the very best in pop-culture, music, technology, art and fashion.  The One Gaming Nation, or T1GN is an everything you need, video game, cheat/achievement heaven. Last but not least, Rich Russ0 is a music guru and local scene supporter.

Support me?

Love me?

Trust me, Check him out!

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